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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get a puppy?

112 replies

Inatizzielizzie · 10/08/2019 08:49

Just to be clear we are still researching and haven't made a decision but it would be so helpful for any advice!

Here are our circumstances-

We have small terraced house and patio walking distance to large parks with woods and a fenced dog park with woodland. We do feel fairly cramped but the reality is we don't want to move.

Twin boys starting school in September.

I work p/t freelance (3 days a week, all home based).

Husband works from home 2-4 days per week.

We are very outdoorsy, spend most free time outside and holiday in the uk.

Does this sound a good time to get a dog? Is it madness? My family are not dog people and keep saying we are far too busy for a dog. Would we realistically struggle to find the time?! I want to consider everything before making this life changing and life long decision.

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
Caaarrrl · 10/08/2019 14:30

All the people advising getting a rescue dog, have you read the recent thread about how it is nearly impossible to get approved by some rescue charities?

I would always recommend texting but unfortunately it's not that easy.

OP, I think that dog would be great for your family.

Caaarrrl · 10/08/2019 14:33

Texting? Should be rescuing

adaline · 10/08/2019 14:33

How will having indoor only cats work when toilet training a pup?

We managed it just fine. Our cats have never shown any interest in going outside, though, as they've always been indoors. Just pop the dog on the lead and take him out into the garden and shut the door after - no different to us popping out alone.

Original poster
Inatizzielizzie · 10/08/2019 15:31

Thanks everyone, as above re cats. We are in and out all day, cats don't have a desire to go out but it's not the end of the world if they did - we would just put them inside again. All i read about whippets sounds so positive as a good first time family dog.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 10/08/2019 15:34

They sound better behaved than our cats!!
I think it’s Blue Cross that has brilliant advice about introducing dog to cats. Scent swapping, stair gate and longline eg. Reward ignoring the cat and giving you attention.

BagsBagsandMoreBags · 10/08/2019 15:52

Mine was 12 months the other week.

The first couple of weeks (maybe more) are hard. I would regularly wonder what the hell I'd done. I'm talking cleaning up shit explosions at 5am etc...

But, as they get used to you and you to them and training starts to take shape I found I actually love being a dog owner. I absolutely adore him and I'd say he is practically my hobby now! We enjoy long walks and learning new tricks etc... He's great fun and good company.

We've been through a lot recently and we got him whilst we were in a particularly difficult time and he's helped us massively by just being this big cuddly thing that needs and loves and wants you all the time!

Your set up sounds ideal really and I'd go with the breeders advice in terms of crates rather than the people who jump to tell you how cruel it is on here.

He doesn't sleep in a crate anymore but he did when he came to us and we kept it up because it was what he was used to. It isn't supposed to be used to shut them in for hours in the day whilst you go out, it's a safe space for them, like a bedroom where they can be alone. Ours used to sleep in his all night (with the door open so he could have come out if he'd wanted) and take himself off for naps in there all the time. Until he discovered our bed Grin

But agree with others though, perhaps consider a rescue dog too. It would take a bit of searching as you'd have to be entirely sure they were family friendly but worth it if you can give one a home.

BagsBagsandMoreBags · 10/08/2019 15:54

Ps ours is a Cocker Spaniel, working type. Very much recommended if you're an outdoorsy family!

AutumnColours9 · 10/08/2019 16:00

We got a bichon puppy and she is fabulous. Small dogs are much easier and more portable!! Better in small houses too!! She needs grooming every couple of months but doesnt shed and is low allergy. However puppies are extremely hard work. Dogs vary some are more laid back others boisterous etc. Training is daily! Your set up sounds ideal and similar to ours. I would look at other small breeds too. Also rescue worth a try.
We wanted to but all the bichon type dogs (son severe allergy) needed another resident dog or no kids so we gave up.

bodgeitandscarper · 10/08/2019 16:05

*All the people advising getting a rescue dog, have you read the recent thread about how it is nearly impossible to get approved by some rescue charities?

I would always recommend texting but unfortunately it's not that easy.*

It largely depends on the rescue, some are much more amenable to homing with kids etc. A rescue local to me will home with kids and working people, but try to match the dog to the family as closely as possible, it's in everyone's interests that a homing is successful, so no unsuitable matchings ending up in returned dogs.

PrayingandHoping · 10/08/2019 16:11

OP Vizlas are taller than labs!! About the same size as a golden.

I have gsps which are in the same category as vizlas (hpr). Many good breeders of these breeds will not sell a puppy to a first time dog owner.... they are wonderful dogs, but sensitive and vizlas are wonderful but mad as a box of frogs! If you really are interested in one I would go out your way to find your nearest viz club and meet them.

I would say a lab would be your best bet as a family dog. They don't smell!

ThomasFurious · 10/08/2019 16:15

You'll find yourselves much less outdoors for a year as a puppy can only be walked for five minutes per month of its age.

Fleetheart · 10/08/2019 16:20

Me and my 15 year old son and 17 year old daughter are finding it really difficult to adopt a rescue dog. They are so strict with their rules, and we have two cats already, they say they don’t have a dog that will be ok with cats. So challenging! Will be easier to buy a puppy, but we don’t really want a puppy, want a dog to calm our adhd son.

LakieLady · 10/08/2019 16:36

Personally, I wouldn't get a puppy in a house with an elderly cat. The puppy WILL chase the cat (puppies chase anything, even a leaf on a puddle is something to chase) and an elderly cat may not be sufficiently agile to get out of the puppy's reach.

I've had 3 dogs from puppies, and they all chased the cats.

With regard to breeds, of the 3 you've mentioned, I'd be minded to go for the whippet or the min poodle. The Vizsla and the Labrador are both very high energy breeds and require masses of exercise. They, and the retriever, are all very large to have in a small house. Bigger breeds tend to mature later, so will be naughty puppies for longer, and will be able to do stuff like reach the worktops etc because they are bigger in stature. Labs and GRs moult like mad (my SIL vacuums 3 times a day and still finds black lab fluffy undercoat blowing across her floors and all over her carpets).

Whippets are lazy, which is an excellent trait in a dog. A 15 minute sprint twice a day is enough for a whippet and, as an added bonus, many of them hate going out in the rain. Min poodles are very smart and easy to train, but are also so smart you will find you are occasionally outwitted by them. They don't moult but need regular combing and clipping. The whippet coat is so thin that moulting is negligible, they don't need grooming and when they get muddy you can wipe them clean with a damp facecloth.

Apart from the cat, your circumstances seem almost ideal for getting a puppy.

Fucksandflowers · 10/08/2019 16:43

Is that true? IME, dogs bred to retrieve, as opposed to kill, don't have a high prey drive. They love to retrieve

I didn't mean prey drive as in desire to kill.
I meant high prey drive as in motivated by movement and liking chasing, maybe following through.

I have a border collie myself and though she has no desire to kill, I would definately describe her as high prey drive as she is extremely motivated and excited by movement and likes to chase.

LakieLady · 10/08/2019 16:44

All the people advising getting a rescue dog, have you read the recent thread about how it is nearly impossible to get approved by some rescue charities?

If you know what breed you want, or have narrowed the choice down to a couple, it is worth approaching a breed-specific rescue. Most reputable breeders undertake to have a dog back if for any reason the new owner can't keep it, and they often have adult dogs that they've taken back that need rehoming.

Breeders will also sometimes find that a puppy that they've kept with a view to showing develops a problem that means they don't meet the standard (eg, a broken tooth or only one testicle in a male) and then have an older dog available for rehoming.

The Kennel Club will be able to give you details of breed rescues, or of breed club secretaries who will have the details. They tend not to be so insistent on not being out of the house for more than very short periods, no children under 7 and all that stuff.

PrayingandHoping · 10/08/2019 16:47

I wouldn't describe gundogs as having prey drive as people would misunderstand that as wanting to kill per se. I would describe it is they will naturally go off hunting if not controlled. They are bred to hunt out game and flush and retrieve it.

My gsps will see a bird/ rabbit and will go on hard point. They will "flush it" if not recalled at that moment.

LakieLady · 10/08/2019 17:00

a puppy can only be walked for five minutes per month of its age.

Nonsense. It depends on the size of the adult dog. A lakeland or border terrier will be fully grown by 6 months and capable of walking miles. A big breed, especially if heavy of bone like a Dane or a Newfoundland, will be much older before the growth plates in the bones have closed and will need limited exercise for longer.

Wolfiefan · 10/08/2019 17:36

I used a longline so my dog couldn’t chase the cats. It’s up to you to stop it.
5 min per month is a good rule of thumb. It’s not that they can’t walk further. But taking a four month out for long regular runs could cause damage. And OP mentions labs. Definitely be careful with any breed prone to joint issues.

pigsDOfly · 10/08/2019 17:49

Your set up sounds perfect for a puppy.

If you're careful about how you introduce the puppy to the cat it can work out fine.

I had two 17 year old cats when I got my dog as a puppy eight years ago, the female cat wasn't particularly interested, but was quite happy to accept the puppy. The male cat was over the moon and fell instantly in love with the puppy. They were best friends until, unfortunately, my lovely old cat had to be pts.

I have lots of photos of them curled up asleep together.

Fourtimesthefun · 10/08/2019 18:10

Actually I'd wait a few years in your circumstances.

You talk in your op about feeling cramped for space but not planning to move for the foreseeable future. I thought your set up sounded OK with the two of you and your twin boys but then you mentioned your 3 indoor cats! And hopefully having another baby in the next few years.

You both work from home and presumably need to be actually working, not constantly distracted by needing to look after a puppy! Your cats if indoor and space is tight need the run of the whole house. I'd also let your elderly lady live out her last years in peace.

Lots of time for a dog in the future, I'd listen to your extended family here. Especially if they're not dog people and may be less likely to offer to look after the children if there's a dog around too.

Vicliz24 · 10/08/2019 18:13

We are on our second whippet . If brought up with cats all is well as the cats are the boss. Slightly crazy puppies but also lazy and need far less exercise than people imagine. They are much more cat like than dog . One decent run a day and the rest of the time is spent on the sofa . Not hard work at all really once past the young pup stage . Beautiful gentle creatures who love being worshipped

Ellmau · 11/08/2019 00:11

We got a bichon puppy and she is fabulous

Bichons are a great family pet with lovely personalities, but I don't think right for the OP bc (at least the ones I know, may be a limited sample admittedly) are extremely un-outdoorsy - not super keen on walks, and refuse to go out at all if raining.

runninguphills · 11/08/2019 00:40

We had a puppy 2 years ago. I did a lot of research regarding the breed.

I wanted -
Great with children
Fun out on walks but quiet at home
Non barker (I hate yappy dogs)
Not too big
Not a moulting dog

Only a whippet seemed to fit the bill for us and she is a fantastic low maintenance dog, breathtakingly quick on walks and absolutely adores the children. She's really affectionate to us but is a tad dismissive of people she doesn't know.

We have a cat but the dog is scared of her and stays out of her way.

2toe · 11/08/2019 00:52

Our dog is 15 now but it never occurred to me that he would be so travel sick that he can’t be in a car for more than ten minutes unless sedated! He loves being with people and would not cope in a kennel so unless we can get someone to come and stay at our house we can’t go anywhere even overnight. While our situation may not be the norm be aware that it’s a possibility and do you have people who will look after a dog for you or would the whole family be willing to give up holidays, days out and weekends away for your dog.

OpheliaTodd · 11/08/2019 01:15

Wrt chasey breeds and cats - my lurcher was fine with the family cats even if they ran and never chased them. However strange cats were a different matter.

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