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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think they will come back?

69 replies

Scaredmama1 · 09/08/2019 18:57

Name changed for this as outing.
Early hours of this morning our house was broken into. We were asleep upstairs with our baby aged 2 months and toddler dd. Nothing was taken but all of our drawers had been turned out downstairs looking for, we presume, car keys. We had taken our keys to bed with us. Was up numerous times with baby so not sure if I may have disturbed them.
We live in a property approx 15yrs old. Doors were fairly old, no alarm. Police think it looks professional gang-type crime stealing vehicles to order as dh has expensive unusual car. We had planned to replace doors and install alarm etc but with moving in recently and having baby we just hadn't got around to it. We've managed to have alarm installed today and have now padlocked gates and driveway. We've also had the door fixed of course and have started to ball rolling with new doors and cctv.
Aibu to think that the burglars will come back because they didn't get what they came for? Perhaps with violence or multiple people? I'm petrified and don't know what we can do to ever get past this.
Thanks

OP posts:

TheCatInAHat · 09/08/2019 18:59

Honestly if it were me I’d leave the keys somewhere easy to find downstairs for them.

icelollycraving · 09/08/2019 19:00

Poor you! Really this must be so unsettling for you.
Just leave your keys downstairs, don’t make them consider looking for them. That’s probably really bad advice though.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 09/08/2019 19:00

YANBU to be so worried, it is truly terrifying to be broken into.

However, you've increased security, you've done everything you can do and there are no guarantees that they'll bother trying now that they'e had a go. Did the police give you much advice in terms of how to deter anyone from trying again?

FudgeBrownie2019 · 09/08/2019 19:02

Just leave your keys downstairs, don’t make them consider looking for them. That’s probably really bad advice though.

That's the advice the police gave us when our neighbours were broken into by car thieves. They said leave them somewhere they'll easily be found because the quicker they find them the quicker they're out of your house.

user1493413286 · 09/08/2019 19:02

I think on balance that they won’t come back as they’ll realise that you’ll have increased security and the police will be aware.
I would leave keys downstairs though if I’m honest.

EAIOU · 09/08/2019 19:03

That must be really frightening OP.

Think the mental train of thought you are experiencing is probably worse than strangers being in your home.

Glad your security has upped but unfortunately I'd agree with pp and leave keys downstairs. It may be likely that they come back if the car is of high value or seeing you have updated security, they may be deterred.

Have you anywhere you could store the car? 💐

littlepeas · 09/08/2019 19:04

I’ve also heard that the best thing to do is leave car keys downstairs and somewhere visible.

lisbonholiday · 09/08/2019 19:05

Agree with leaving the keys downstairs. If they want them that much just let them have them. Better than them coming upstairs.

I've been broken into before and it's horrible OP. Nothing anyone says will make you feel better you just slowly get over it. Having those safety measures in place will hopefully make you feel better. If you do hear anything the advice I was given was to make it clear you're there to spook them but without confrontation, e.g. turn a light on, flush a toilet.

Mammajay · 09/08/2019 19:06

I wouldn't leave the keys downstairs but I would ask the police to drive by at the sort of time they broke in.

gungera · 09/08/2019 19:07

We were burgled when I was a child. Once they had done it they came back multiple times over the next few years. My parents increased security each time but they still came back (they were just never as successful as the first time.)

Honestly I'd just leave the keys downstairs, it's not worth the risk of them searching upstairs where your children are.

littlepeas · 09/08/2019 19:11

I think I’m probably on my own here, but my gut reaction would be to get rid of the car. It’s only a lump of metal, it’s not worth being targeted by thieves.

NoBaggyPants · 09/08/2019 19:11

Unfortunately limited police resources mean they can't keep driving past to check all is ok.

I hope they don't return but if they do, your family's safety is so much more important than the car.

familycourtq · 09/08/2019 19:11

but I would ask the police to drive by at the sort of time they I assume you are not in the UK.
I have sidestepped this by having an undesirable car, but it is crazy that you can’t have a super duper car without the Police advising you to help thieves to get the keys.

NoBaggyPants · 09/08/2019 19:12

And I'd agree with littlepeas, if the car is on the radar of a gang, get rid of it.

Wearenotyourkind · 09/08/2019 19:12

I'm so sorry this happened to you, OP. Must be a truly horrible experience. Sending love to you.

Zebraaa · 09/08/2019 19:13

@Mammajay what, every night? I don’t think the police will agree to that.

Bringmewineandcake · 09/08/2019 19:14

Don’t leave them anywhere visible without checking your home and motor insurance cover carefully first. Definitely leave the keys downstairs, but not anywhere they can be seen from either a window or door.

minionsrule · 09/08/2019 19:24

I don't think your keys being in sight nut behind a locked door invalidates your insurance bringmewineandcake.
I have worked in that industry for many years and i doubt even insurers would try to pull that one!

gowgow · 09/08/2019 19:42

Is there a "Crime Prevention Officer" at your local police station available for advice? They can tell you things you never thought of.

thecatinthetwat · 09/08/2019 19:50

Is it obvious that you have increased security. I would make it obvious from the outside that you have done so.

Also, have a chat with your neighbours and let them know. Get everyone to keep an eye out.

Personally, I would also get rid of the car I think.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 09/08/2019 19:52

I also think I'd get rid of the car.

coconuttelegraph · 09/08/2019 19:54

I agree, sell the car, no method of transport is worth spending your life in fear for

Hecateh · 09/08/2019 19:57

I don't think they will be back.

They were clearly in long enough to have a good luck round and didn't find the keys. Police DO advice to leave key accessible as some thieves are worse than others and will confront you rather than leave without, but that time has passed and these thieves left.
You have upped your security and you vigilance. If you have friends or family with a garage/secure drive you could leave your car somewhere else for a few days. (These thefts are planned, they don't just see the car and move in immediately).

CCTV, new doors and a video doorbell will make things even more secure.

I know to my cost that it does take ages to feel secure again but you will AND it is very unlikely they will come back.

MissRabbitNeedsAHoliday · 09/08/2019 19:58

Sorry this happened to you OP, how frightening.
I agree with pp I would leave the keys downstairs, and consider selling the car.
With two small kids in the house I wouldn't be able to settle worrying about them coming back.

ThisIsMyBuick · 09/08/2019 20:00

My next door neighbours have had their car stolen last weekend and their house broken into and completely emptied whilst they were on holiday.

I saw someone drive off in the car and because it was in the middle of the day I assumed that they had lent it to a friend while they were away.

The police haven’t been to take a statement from me even though I got a really good look at the bloke!

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