Would you describe an adult whose parents had died as an orphan?

[matahairyy]

Parents had died when they were an adult obviously?
Or is an orphan a child? Terminology wise.

If you think someone losing their parents in their 20s has a MUCH easier time of it than someone who is 11, and is able to handle it soooo much better, and should not be calling themselves an ORPHAN, then you are breathtakingly ignorant, badly educated, callous, and obviously have no fucking CLUE what it's like to lose your parents at a young age

But there is a difference. It doesn’t hurt any less but there is a massive difference. A 20 year old is an adult. They would be able to look after themselves, get a job, support themselves. An 11 year old is a child. They would be grieving their parents and also have the worry of where they will live, how will they survive. A 20 year will have a choice in what happens to them. An 11 year old won’t.

How can you not see the difference?

@zeezee which comment?

zeezee3 If you think someone losing their parents in their 20s has a MUCH easier time of it than someone who is 11, and is able to handle it soooo much better, and should not be calling themselves an ORPHAN, then you are breathtakingly ignorant, badly educated, callous, and obviously have no fucking CLUE what it's like to lose your parents at a young age.

Lost my father at age 23, my mother in my 30s. I'd be fucking irritated as hell by someone labelling me an "orphan". In no way did I have a hard time as a child due to my parents dieing when I was an adult. For one thing, I lived with my parents and was brought up by them in the family home. An entirely different experience than someone whose parents died when they were a child. When they died, I was independent and living away from home in my own place.

I repeat, I find it really quite odd that some people wish to label others as orphans. What do they get out of it? A metronomical sense of grammarly fulfilment?

I'd say anyone who lost her parents is an orphan but that it's commonly used to refer to a child.

Too odd. I read a book. Two adults lose their parents in chapter one. There’s reference to them being orphans. I think - ooh that’s interesting. Then start the thread.

Now I’m callous and vile ?

Who is being callous and cruel? How is it callous to not consider yourself an orphan if you lose your parents in adulthood?

Were the book characters talking to each other? Several posters on here have said they said something to a sibling (or had it said to them) about "we're orphans now", usually accompanied by a wry smile. I think it makes sense in that context. Would have helped if you posted the actual quote though!

I've heard adults described as orphans when their parents are deceased

Are you kidding me right now? I have never seen such uncaring, nasty, thoughtless comments on a thread before. VILE

Gosh, you’ve not read many threads on here then.

Of course there is a huge difference between losing your parents as an 11 year old and an adult.

Lost my father at age 23, my mother in my 30s. I'd be fucking irritated as hell by someone labelling me an "orphan". In no way did I have a hard time as a child due to my parents dieing when I was an adult. For one thing, I lived with my parents and was brought up by them in the family home. An entirely different experience than someone whose parents died when they were a child. When they died, I was independent and living away from home in my own place.

You are only qualified to talk about your own experiences. You don't get to use your experiences as the metric of normal or as an excuse to judge and bash other people.

Just because you apparently didn't think it was that bad doesn't mean you're qualified to determine whether somebody else is or is not traumatised or still grieving.

It's ignorant.

Of course there is a huge difference between losing your parents as an 11 year old and an adult.

Different in nature, yes, but not necessarily in gravity of impact or trauma or suffering or grief or long term consequences...

Suffering is not a fucking hierarchy or competition.

Zeezee3 are you trying to play grief top trumps with the poster who said she was orphaned at 11 year old?

I'm assuming that you were in your 20's when you lost your parents. So had parental support all through school, exams, uni.
Never had to deal with foster carers, or social workers shuffling you around from pillar to post. Or had to move school to suit the SW shuffling.

I'm not saying loosing parents in your 20s is a walk in the park. But to loose parents as a child must bring additional issues and problems.

My dh and SIL (both in 50s) jokingly call themselves the orphans as they have both lost both their parents. Ok, admit might be a sick sense of humour.

Being serious I would only call a child an orphan, one they become an adult, even if they lost their parents as a child, the term orphan is no longer correct.

No matter how you deal with it you are not an orphan if you lose your parents as an adult, because that isn’t what the word means.

I'd call a child who lost their parents as an orphan. I wouldn't refer to an adult as an orphan.

Caballinero You are only qualified to talk about your own experiences. You don't get to use your experiences as the metric of normal or as an excuse to judge and bash other people.

Just because you apparently didn't think it was that bad doesn't mean you're qualified to determine whether somebody else is or is not traumatised or still grieving.

The reason I object to being labelled an "orphan" when I lost both my parents as an adult is that I have been looked down upon, been made to feel like a poor little, well orphan, and had it repeated to me in condescending tones ("aw, your parents are both dead, so you're all on your own, you're an orphan, you must find that so hard").

Its not done out of sympathy. Its been said to me when I am a fully functioning adult in an excellent career with a DH. Its said because some people like to compete, and the only way some of them compete is to put others down because they come from a large family.

Lucky you if you've never been subjected to that.

It's ignorant.

You are right on that one.

Caballerino Just because you apparently didn't think it was that bad doesn't mean you're qualified to determine whether somebody else is or is not traumatised or still grieving.

Oh, and this part again. You are talking about the death of my father and my mother here. How dare you assume that I "didn't think it was that bad", because I dealt with it well and don't want to be labelled as an orphan because they died when I was an adult!

FFS. What kind of person are you? Seriously? Do you have any idea how hurtful the words that come out of your mouth are? How dare you talk about the death of my parents like that.

I wouldn’t find it particularly odd if someone had lost both parents as a young adult

And I’d understand anyone using it while dealing with the immediate grief as losing your parents is still sad even if they were 102!

But I wouldn’t think of most pensioners as orphans, even though they mostly are!