To expect DH to do DD's hair in the morning?

[leaveitaloneforgodssake]

I leave home for work at 6.30am; DH, who works from home, gets the kids up later and takes DD (3) to nursery and her brothers to school. I get lunches and clothes ready the night before and plait DD's shoulder-length, curlyish hair to keep it from tangling while she sleeps. He gives them breakfast, gets them dressed and out the door. But he NEVER does DD's hair. She spends all day with her sweaty unbrushed hair in a half-undone plait, flapping round her face and making her even hotter (we live in a hot country and it's min 35° every day.) I've asked him lots of times to deal with it and shown him easy ways to tie/clip her hair up that take about 3 seconds to do, but he just won't. He says it takes too long in the mornings and we should just cut it all off short until she's old enough to do it herself. This is just him being a lazy numpty in my view; besides, she has pretty hair and I don't want it cut off. Who is BU?

Where are you based? In a lot of places in southern europe, ME and Asia the nursery teacher or aide will comb hair for anyone who looks like a local (they often don’t if you’re a different race as they might be unfamiliar with hair type, or think they can get away with not doing it as you don’t know the cultural background).

I do think you’re being a hit unreasonable insisting DH combs hair and then insisting your DD keeps hair long even though you know he isn’t doing it. You’re not there in the mornings so the decision to comb her hair (or not) or cut her hair for convenience (or not) is his. If you don’t like the care he’s providing you could do what a lot of parents in ME / Asia / SE do and hire a nanny.

YANBU. She has hair - it needs to be brushed in the morning, regardless of how long it is. It takes 5 mins! Very mean.

So she has a father who won't tie her hair back properly and a mother who won't allow it to be cut. Why does she have to be uncomfortable with long, hot hair when her brothers can have theirs short and cool?

Why on earth is it unreasonable to expect a child’s father to brush their child’s hair? How ridiculous. Can’t believe that some people on here think it should be cut short purely for his convenience. He’s being a lazy bastard.

My DD had waist length hair from a young age. DH was better than me at plaiting it and his plaits stayed in place all day (mine came loose, but I got better with practice). As she got older she loved to watch YouTube clips of long hair styles with us and she is now so proficient at styling her (still long) hair then she styles her friends’ hair at school (French plaits etc).

This is not women's work - your DH needs to stop being lazy and parent his DD.

My Dad used to do my long curly hair in the 1960s. He's very old and now I do his. He says tell your Dh to grow up

I love the way the man’s refusal to brush his daughter’s hair is still the woman’s fault

And why is cutting the girl’s hair off the preferred solution, instead of the father making an effort to brush hair and learn a basic low ponytail?

Long hair is the coolest option in hot climates - you can tie it all up and away from your face and neck.

Unless you give her a crew cut short hair takes more work than long hair and can't be tied away from the face so YANBU

Also some of the excuses men have made 'I don't know how to use a bobble'

I'd point out to him that you don't plait hair with a clitoris so he should be able to learn this basic task just like you had to at some point.

Fair enough if he doesn't want to mess around with various hairstyles but a pony tail takes two seconds and zero skill.

It's strange that the long hair is coolest and long hair is easiest to manage discussion doesn't apply to many boys?

Reminds me when I was in hospital after having ds. Dh was at home with dd's, he text me to say he hadn't managed to do theirs hairs so had just shaved the lot off!!
OMG I actually cried!!
Was terrified of them arriving but obviously he had been joking. Wasn't so sure tbh!!