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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect parents to teach their little children not to approach my dog?

412 replies

joystir59 · 08/08/2019 20:33

It happens all the time- young child screams "Little doggie" and reaches towards Dog with outstretched hands. My dog hates little children doing this and would probably snap at them if they managed to actually get their hands on him. Why don't parents teach their children to ignore strange dogs?

OP posts:
Banangana · 08/08/2019 22:49

I spend a lot of time in the magistrates’ courts. I have seen people prosecuted and found guilty in the exact scenario described above.

No one is disputing the law. We're just saying that it's irresponsible, shitty parenting to allow your child to put themselves in danger in this way. A guilty verdict will not undo the damage caused to your child.

Daytimetellysucks · 08/08/2019 22:49

But you expect perfect behaviour from kids?

No. As others have said, I expect parents to keep an eye on their kids. Presumably they don’t just stand there when their 2 year old runs into the road/plays with knives/etc. They manage to keep them away from the dodgy looking bloke in the park or the edge of the path along the river

Most of the time in my experience, it’s actually older kids that are the problem. Parents of young children always do ask first.

It’s the 5, 6, 7, 8 year olds upwards that cause the most issues for us

Greensleeves · 08/08/2019 22:51

Yes, I do think all dogs should be muzzled in public tbh. One mutilated child is one too many. And as frequently showcased on MN, there are far too many selfish, pig ignorant dog owners out there to make the current situation tenable.

Evilmorty · 08/08/2019 22:51

Same @PeggySuehadababy, we were standing at a cafe in our local park deciding what to have, no one else around, and a turner and hooch dog came out of the trees and had my 9yo over and pinned. The owner was too unfit to keep up, and was huffing and puffing behind him calling him. Said sorry, he won’t hurt you but tbh the deal is sealed now, DS is terrified and on the floor stiff as a board. And that is annoying because I am the most diligent at teaching the kids not to even go within 20ft of a dog they don’t know because my mums old dog was a nipper. It’s a shame that both sides can’t see that kids and dogs can be annoying Grin

Ofitck · 08/08/2019 22:53

'd like to see dogs kept under control so that they don't try and lick a child in a buggy as happened when we were out with our granddaughter. The owner who had it on one of those very long leads was so angry when I kicked to dog to get it away, he was lucky that I didn't kick it much harder.

@LadyRannaldini are you seriously shocked the owner was angry after you kicked his dog for trying to lick your grandchild???!!

If you dared to do that to a dog in front of me I'd have made sure you were shitting out your own teeth for the next week. Nasty cretin.

I don’t agree with abusing animals at all but if a dog stuck it’s face in my child’s pram - it’s carnivrrous teeth in their face - I would also do whatever it took to get it away from my child, kicking if I had to!! It is obviously out of control to bound up and into a pram so very likely to be a biter.

On what planet would you NOT get it out of your baby’s face???!

Butchyrestingface · 08/08/2019 22:55

Yes, I do think all dogs should be muzzled in public tbh

Fair enough. Smile. Equally, I’m sure there are those who’d say they’d like to see more responsible parenting for the exact same reason.

Thewheelsarefallingoff · 08/08/2019 22:56

When did people get so weird about their dogs? So many people have dogs now. They have no idea about training, seem to think that training is cruel, don't walk them enough, feed them people food. Dogs on sofas and beds. There has to be a separation between people and dogs. Dogs have to be taught they are bottom of the pack, otherwise when a small person comes along they are a danger to them, as they see the child as bottom of the pack. If a dog hurts a child, it's not going to be a good outcome for the dog. It is in a dog's best interests to be taught that people are more important.

Greensleeves · 08/08/2019 22:57

I'm sure we'd all like to see more responsible parenting. Mine are teenagers now but I was very vigilant about dogs when they were little (didn't stop them being knocked over/slobbered on though). The fact is though that children are NOT always predictable or biddable, even with the best parenting, and their safety is more important than dogs. Or their self-important delusional owners.

ScruffGin · 08/08/2019 22:59

All the people on here saying all dogs should be muzzled to protect their little darlings right to run up and scare the dog... Replace the word dog with cow/horse/car/hot coffee etc, your manage to keep them away from all sorts of harmful things, why aren't dogs included in that?!

But also I totally agree that Fido off lead shouldn't be running at you and your children and scaring them/knocking them over etc. This discussion is about dogs next to their owners on a lead.

LucieLucie · 08/08/2019 22:59

it’s carnivrrous teeth in their face

Omg, dramatic much?? Try it's sloppy tongue, because that is what that nasty granny kicked the poor thing for, Licking!!!! Hmm

It was also on a lead, and presumably the Buggy could turn/move away?

veryboredtoday · 08/08/2019 23:01

YANBU. Everybody should teach their children how to deal with strange dogs respectively so by the time they are old enough to be walking around on their own they know not to run up to strange dogs. Even the calmest of dogs can be spooked.
The emphasis is on teaching ... nobody expects a two year old to know how to deal with dogs by instinct!

and it goes without saying that if you can't trust your dog not to bite, you should take action to ensure it is safe in public.

Breathlessness · 08/08/2019 23:02

What I really wouldn’t do is lash out at a dog that was non agressive and had its ‘carnivrrous’ teeth near my baby. If you kick out at a dog it might run away or it might bite. If it’s attacking you or yours it makes sense to fight back but if it’s not why roll the dice and risk provoking aggression?

Banangana · 08/08/2019 23:05

The fact is though that children are NOT always predictable or biddable, even with the best parenting, and their safety is more important than dogs. Or their self-important delusional owners.

Well, I'm neither a dog owner nor a parent and it's the parents who who seem to view other people's dogs as entertainment for their precious little munchkins that are coming across as self-important. The best, and only way to ensure your child's safety is to keep it away from strange dogs, just like you keep them away from the less fluffy and adorable dangers you come across.

DtPeabodysLoosePants · 08/08/2019 23:09

My DDs are forever going up to dogs despite me telling them not to. Like pp said it doesn't help when the owners say oh it's ok he's really friendly or whatever. Ds is scared of dogs and will steer clear.

I absolutely detest dogs running up and jumping but any licking gives me the rage. Control your dog, I don't want it licking my child's face. Ds was sick both times he was licked on the mouth as a toddler by dogs. Coincidence maybe but the only times he's had a vomiting bug and no one else got it.

I'm not a dog person, can you tell Grin

Ofitck · 08/08/2019 23:10

LucieLucie

It is a carnivore. With great big teeth.... adjective of carnivore is carnivorous....

The granny made a calculation - animal bigger than child, out of control, runs to child (in buggy so can’t escape) - dog may bite and seriously injure child or dog may lick. Granny quite rightly didn’t wait to find out! It’s a shame the dog got kicked but really the fault of its owner for letting it run up to a child.

Would you honestly just let it??! Do you have DC?

I haven’t been in that position but I’d love to know how to get an untrained dog out of the face of my child instantly before I get the chance to find out if it’s a licker (which is disgusting btw) or a biter. For future reference, in case I’m unlucky enough to be in that situation. Please do enlighten us all.

slashlover · 08/08/2019 23:12

Poster - A child pushed my child over in softplay today, AIBU to be angry?
AIBU - YANBU, parents should have been watching the child.

Poster - A child was running around and ran into my elderly mother, AIBU to be angry?
AIBU - YANBU! Where were the parents? Child should have been on reins.

Poster - A child darted out in front of my car, I managed to stop but the parents were 50 yards away from the child. AIBU to be upset/angry?
AIBU - YANBU, the parents should have ben watching the child! How are you OP?

Poster - I was holding my baby and a random child ran up and got right in DDs face! Screeching and trying to grab her. AIBU!
AIBU - YANBU! That is disgraceful parenting. I would have been livid!

OP - Children ran up to my dog and upset him/her, they were trying to grab him/her. AIBU?
AIBU - YABVVVVU! How is anyone supposed to stop their child from running up and grabbing your dog? Kids can't understand the dangers! Muzzle that vicious animal!

Costacoffeeplease · 08/08/2019 23:12

I see the dog frothers are out again, regular as clockwork. Is it a full moon?

wheresthehope · 08/08/2019 23:14

These dog verse child threads always make for good reading!

crazycatgal · 08/08/2019 23:15

YANBU, it's a good job my dog is the softest dog going since he has to put up with children shoving their face in his, grabbing him and trying to climb on him.

I'm happy to stop for any children that ask to stroke him but I'm sick of idiots standing there watching their child just grab my dog which they know nothing about.

MrsKittyFane1 · 08/08/2019 23:15

Why don't parents teach their children to ignore strange dogs?

Same reason some owners don't teach their dog to ignore strange children...

Doryhunky · 08/08/2019 23:17

This reminds me of the dog owner who told me to stop my 4 yo running round a park because it was overexciting her off the lead dog!

Doryhunky · 08/08/2019 23:18

I always tell my dc not to approach strange dogs. Now if owners could stop their dogs jumping up or getting too close to my kids and stop saying ‘don’t worry, he’s friendly’

LolaSmiles · 08/08/2019 23:19

YANBU
It's basic manners and common sense to ask before your child approaches a dog.

My dog was scared as a puppy when lovely kids(and parents had asked) went for the face grab approach to saying hello.

After that I'm much more explicit by saying "course you can say hi, she's very friendly but she doesn't like stranger hands near her face".

She's a very friendly dog,very sociable and happy but that doesn't mean invade her space.It may sound patronising and it's not mean to be but I don't think people know how to greet dogs and so don't teach their children how to do it.

Ofitck · 08/08/2019 23:21

Yes slash.... dogs are not people.

downbutnotout2018 · 08/08/2019 23:22

Well OP you do realise in a public place it is incumbent on you to control your dog legally even around small kids. If your dog but a child it would be put to sleep and you would be in serious trouble. It needs a muzzle in public. I say that as a dog owner.