To expect parents to teach their little children not to approach my dog?

[joystir59]

It happens all the time- young child screams "Little doggie" and reaches towards Dog with outstretched hands. My dog hates little children doing this and would probably snap at them if they managed to actually get their hands on him. Why don't parents teach their children to ignore strange dogs?

I taught all of mine to ask
Twice the owners said it was fine and the dog bit (one owner ran off and the other just said ‘oh sammy has never done that before’! And walked off)
One owner said no because the dog had been abused by a man and children so hated both but was fine with women
Another said no cos the dogs hated everyone which was fair enough
I just explained the dogs whereby friendly and to this day all mine ask first
In fact my dd owns the worlds soppiest dog ever who loves his fusses and it really pisses her off if people just touch him-like she says he’s so soft and sappy it’s crazy but if someone was to touch him when he didn’t want it and he bit someone it’s his life on the block

Kids sometimes will do whatever they want.

And if you think this is okay and totally acceptable, and that you shouldn't teach them to behave, you will spend a lot of time in prison visiting rooms or hospital waiting rooms, because your child will continue to do stupid, dangerous, self-entitled things because you have never let them suffer any repercussions for their actions and they will think they can do what they like. And one day they are likely to do something illegal because they want to, or dangerous because they've never learned not to, and will go too far.

My lovely dog is petrified of children. She's a rescue and was seven years old when we got her, and we have no idea why she is so frightened, but she is. She goes flat to the floor on her tummy and tries to crawl away if a child approaches her.

So we just tell children that dog is too frightened to play with them, and they tend to leave her alone.

Her one exception is a non verbal child who is autistic. The child is so very gentle with her, and sweetheart dog responds in kind. Dog and child seem to have a lovely bond.

Other children are a no go area for sweet dog.

Because your dog is just a dog, not a child

I am not so speciesist that I think the best dog in the world is of less value than the worst person/ child. Because I don't. Your child is, as you say, a child - but if your child is a little shit, then it's little shit.

And some of them are.

Can I just say it works both ways, and there are irresponsible owners as well as irresponsible parents. My 2 year old DD is really frightened of dogs (I don't know why, doesn't get it from anyone I know as we are all dog lovers). However the number of times owners have let their dogs bound up to us / her with a breezy "oh don't worry they're friendly" or "oh they just get a bit over-excited" whilst DD screams in terror at the dog running at her is ridiculous. Regardless of whether your dog is friendly or not you shouldn't really let them run up to strangers as you don't know if people have phobias / allergies / previous bad experiences involving dogs. But many owners seem oblivious to this.

I wish they'd ask too. I have one that looks just like a teddy bear and incredibly cute and cuddly. He is a child magnet but very few ask before touching him.

Luckily he is an absolute sweetheart. He's a PAT dog and visits nursing homes regularly.He's as bomb proof as they come and will even tolerate being grabbed unexpectedly from behind.

I still worry about it because he is a dog. I hate seeing him jump when he's surprised and one day I worry that those children will do the same with a dog who isn't as sweet tempered as mine.

What about dogs who charge to people, children or otherwise. I couldn't give a toss if your dog is "soft" or "being friendly". I'm scared and nervous around dogs. It's that simple. So why don't you teach your dogs to leave people alone

Yes, the law is clear. So it doesn;t really matter what irresponsible dog owners think.

Everything else is victim blaming. Two year olds are excitable, noisy and unpredictable.

If you have a nasty snappy dog keep it muzzled in public.

Well, until there's a legal requirement for all dogs to be muzzled in public, your opinion won't change the fact that bothering a strange dog is a bad idea. Even dogs that have never bitten or shown signs of aggression can and do bite. Your child's safety is your responsibility. The law (rightfully) holds the owner responsible for any damage their dog does but you are partly responsible for putting your small child in danger in the first place. I wouldn't trust a stranger and their animal to keep my child safe.

don’t understand the dangers of unpredictable animals.

So TEACH them!

@Moondust001 you threatened to smack someone's child?

My two DC (3 and 4) have their very own loud, boisterous dog (who is lovely) but I have taught them to always ask owners about their dogs, but they do forget and it’s a lot of words to get out for a 3 yo at that moment in time (‘can I stroke your dog’). So if I see a dog approaching I always remind them, if nothing else it makes them think before reaching out. And often because they have been reminded and thought about it, the dog has already gone past before they get the words out and reach their hands out for a stroke.

What about dogs who charge to people, children or otherwise. I couldn't give a toss if your dog is "soft" or "being friendly". I'm scared and nervous around dogs. It's that simple. So why don't you teach your dogs to leave people alone

What was it the OP said that makes you think she lets her dog do any of these things?

*Both the parent and the dog owner has responsibilities.

I don't think the police see it this way when a child is attacked.

THe problem is that there is such an inequality of power and possible harm. Yes it is unpleasant and cruel for a dig to have a small child invade their space, be overly enthusiastic or rough, perhaps even causing that animal pain.
Of course we should try to avoid this happening,

But ultimately it is dogs that cause the serious harm, draw blood, savage or even kill,
Children never maul dogs to death.

And this is why children need special protection. And they should have a right to be in public places without the threat of injury.

And the law agrees with this.

Dog bites child- dog's ( or more likely owners) fault.
*

In the eyes of the law a dog is property. Instead of talking about dogs lets think about a different piece of property - what about a Fendi suede bag. Would it be appropriate for anyone - child or adult - to run up to the owner and start to stroke the bag? Fiddle with the clasp? Try to open it?

Surely no one would think that was acceptable! And why not? Because it's not done. It's rude. You might damage it. The person it belongs to would feel threatened.

Surely no one would justify letting a child do that? Even though they are just children.

So why do people think that the dog (the OP's property) is fair game to be touched or investigated?

The child clearly lacks the most basic knowledge of how to act around dogs so is likely to do something that the dog finds threatening or painful. It could have issues that make it uncomfortable with strangers but that doesn't make it dangerous.

Teach your child to respect other people's space, property and pets and the responsible dog owners amongst us will continue to keep our dogs under control.

**Children should not do this. Unfortunately they do. Mine regularly gets cuddled without warning by children.

Muzzle your dog for its own safety and the safety of children if snapping is a genuine concern.

^this.

I never understand why parents allow children to approach animals that aren’t familiar to them.

Or allow them to feed those animals crap!

You mention your horses Pinkblossom - even without a foal in the field, horses/donkeys can get very aggressive where there is food concerned. I saw three actually fighting over polo mints that someone was feeding them in a field.

Also, as I understand it (I'm not a horse person - scared stiff of them actually) some horses can be made ill by certain foods - bread upsets a lot of them, I'm told.

I certainly don't like people feeding my dogs treats. Some things upset their stomachs, others just make them fat! And I don't like to encourage them to go anywhere near strangers. There are too many dogs stolen nowadays, and I don't want mine getting too trusting of random people.

Everything else is victim blaming. Two year olds are excitable, noisy and unpredictable.

If you have a nasty snappy dog keep it muzzled in public.

If you have an excitable, noisy and unpredictable two year old then don't let them approach a strange dog.

Nobody is blaming the kids, people ARE blaming the parents/guardians who are failing to act responsibly. I'm assuming if it was a 'creepy' man then you'd be able to keep the child away. If there was broken glass on the ground then you'd be able to keep the child away. If there was a pond then you'd be able to keep the child away. Apparently it's impossible when it's an animal though and it's just kids being kids.

My dog is fine with children but doesn't like other dogs so her behaviour can change by the presence of another dog

People should ask if they can pet my dog.
Key word 'my' dog. I own the dog I decide who can and can't touch it. Maybe I'm training my dog and don't want her distracted.
Maybe she is an ex rescue

If my dog was viscous and attached everyone and everything she would be muzzled and would not be walked in heavily used areas

My dog has only had small dog fights (as all dogs do and neither dog was hurt) she is absolutely fine around people and has never bitten anyone

That doesn't mean you can go and touch her without my permission.
My dog. My rules.

YANBU. My dog loves kids, he lays down as soon as he sees small children so they can reach to stroke him (he's a very big dog) but I still prefer people to ask before stroking him because sometimes actually I don't want to stop and sometimes hes been for a swim and is stinky, plus its a good habit for children to get into.

Yes children should be taught to not touch strange dogs. Also dogs that potentially could snap should be muzzled in public.

Yanbu to expect people to teach their DC to ask. Yabu by not putting a muzzle on your dog if you think for a moment your dog it will snap if a child pets it.
Some DC are fast, some don't take instruction well, you're the one with the animal.
Precious dog owners put me off dogs, I know it is not the dogs fault.
There is a lonely grumpy old man and his grumpy dog who walks his dog on both school runs harassing DC with warnings to stay away, one of these days I'm going to ask him why doesn't he walk his snappy dog at a later time.

Regardless of whether your dog is friendly or not you shouldn't really let them run up to strangers as you don't know if people have phobias / allergies / previous bad experiences involving dogs

As a dog owner, I agree. Unfortunately almost all puppies go through this stage and have to be taught not to, but adult dogs shouldn't be doing it at all. I've always taught my puppies this very important lesson in areas where I know the people I am going to meet are people who will help me with this and dissuade my dog very kindly (I arrange meet-ups if necessary). This gets the dog both socialised and sociable.

YANBU 100% however, a very excitable 18 month old is not going to have the vocab to ask or capacity to stay away from dangers. This requires lots and lots of repetition. Some children with SEN will also struggle unless the situation is repeated over and over. Therefore I think if I dog cannot behave with all members of the public, equally the owners should accept it and spend money on proper dog training, or if it is hard-wired, then a muzzle. And I say this as a dog owner.

We once owned a dog that didn't like children and would snap - one day it snapped at an overexcited little girl, the parents put in a complaint and it was ordered that the dog be put down. Less than 12 hours after the incident, the puppy was dead. So please use this as a warning that you need to take responsibility for your dog's actions because they can be ordered to be put down. All it takes is for a parent to know this and put in a complaint about your dog.

YANBU. I am very strict and my dc are never, ever allowed to approach dogs...now if only I could stop 90% of dog owners letting their dogs just knock them right over to the point they are in tears while shouting 'oh he's friendly!' from 1/2 mile away while playing on their phones and paying no attention whatsoever to my child who is crying and covered in mud, it would be a win!

Two year old victims should not be blamed for being attacked.

No obviously not. The adults who weren't in control of keeping their child away from an under control dog, however...

All dogs muzzled in public places. Children matter more than dogs.

I wouldn't be averse to this, as long as the law was basket muzzled. But it wouldn't stop child from being pawed/scratched/knocked over/jumped on. An under control dog and an under control child prevents all of that including biting.

Tell you what - teach your fucking dog not to bite children rather than telling people off for not teaching their kids not to touch dogs.

I'm interested if you apply that to horses - is it the riders responsibility to make sure the horse doesn't kick if your child creeps up behind them and slaps it on the bum? What about if she grabbed his privates? How about cows in a field with a footpath across it, should the farmer teach them not to tread on your child who is crawling under their legs? Who is to train the wild injured bird not to peck your kid when they pick it up clumsily?

And I'm ok to get into yours and your child's personal space without consent right? It must work both ways. That means my dog can run up to your child too. And if I stand over your child and vigorously pat her on the head do you you promise she won't lash out and hit or kick me in self defense? Obviously she shouldn't be in public if she might bite me under extreme provocation.