Been married almost 2 months but together 5 years with 1 year old DC. We’ve always split everything 50/50 but retained our own properties we had pre being together (we also own a house jointly). We’re looking to buy a bigger property and have another DC. When we bought our current home, I put in more than my (then DP) DH as I had more available cash.
He recently sold his property and paid me back (even though I now consider it “our” money). He’s been dabbling in stock market for last 5 years (he works in finance anyway) and is up for the most part but had a bit of a disaster earlier this year having taken a big position on one stock. He made it back but yesterday had another big loss.
He told me originally he’d lost 12k of “his” money. He’s also invested some of my money I had given him (to invest for me) in it and our DC’s. DC and I have lost our paper gains we had but capital is safe (well, I’m 700 down on capital) but last night it transpires he’d actually lost 18k of “his” money and so when added to mine and DC’s losses, we’ve lost about 22k as a family.
We are looking to buy a bigger house and I am SO mad at him. He is mortified and has immediately sold all his shares (other than those in funds which are managed by other people as to be fair, we do need to try to grow a bit of it). He’s not slept all night (neither have I).
He recognises that he’s done wrong and is going to seek help. I told him in no uncertain terms if it happens again I will divorce him. He is genuinely remorseful.
He’s a great husband and dad but I’m a little worried and of course hopping mad.
We are sitting down this weekend and pulling together all finances. I’ve also said we will now have “spending” money each month and rest goes into a joint savings account so that way he’s not even tempted to do anything on markets (other than with his spending money).
Now also feel I need to take control ofDC’s investment account.
I don’t want to lose him but I am very very cross.
More advice rather than AIBU I guess.