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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find friend hypocritical on environment

44 replies

Shortstuff99 · 07/08/2019 22:51

I have a very good friend who says they are very concerned about climate change, they keep sending me articles about it and saying how worried they are and criticising me for not caring enough.

This friend has a BMW with a 3 litre engine and has just booked a holiday to Crete and previously gave up being a vege to eat meat.

I have pointed out that these are bad for the environment and that if they cared they could make changes that would help but they keep saying that their own changes wouldn’t make a difference and it’s only worth changing if everyone changes.

Am I unreasonable in finding this to be a weak and hypocritical argument. It is, in truth, a little annoying.

OP posts:
Thehop · 07/08/2019 22:54

YANBU

MildDrPepperAddiction · 07/08/2019 22:55

YANBU. She sounds like she's a bit of a mouthpiece to be honest.

ScaryBunnyPainting · 07/08/2019 22:57

Your friend is a hypocrite and an idiot too.

WipeYourFeetOnTheRhythmRug · 07/08/2019 23:00

I came on here to post that no one is perfect but ... YANBU.

George Monbiot recently pointed out that the two worst things you can do are eat meat and travel.

She's a hypocrite.

WipeYourFeetOnTheRhythmRug · 07/08/2019 23:01

"it’s only worth changing if everyone changes."

BTW - you can tell her that I, along with many of my friends, have changed. Is that enough people for her to change too?

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 07/08/2019 23:05

Ask her what's the point of you changing in that case?

JazzyGG · 07/08/2019 23:05

To be fair her BMW is probably more environmentally friendly than most cars if it's a new one. And once a year holiday isn't ridiculous. It's not like she's jetting off every weekend. Yes she should take measures herself but maybe she is and you don't know? Or she could just be a twat.

OwlinaTree · 07/08/2019 23:08

I can kind of see her point tbh. But I wouldn't be banging on about climate change to others.

Eating meat, going on holiday and having a car are fairly standard activities tbf. Walking everywhere, not having a holiday and not eating meat are very noble ideals but wholesale legislation and legal changes need to happen for those things to make a difference. One person doing this won't change much.

I'm not suggesting people shouldn't do what they feel helps, there are small things I do that on their own are meaningless in the face of climate change. But we shouldn't start throwing criticism around regarding others' choices imho. Where would it end?

Original poster
Shortstuff99 · 07/08/2019 23:10

Here’s an excerpt I know it looks made up but it is honestly real

FRIEND: Unless many many people change the way they live then you and me are going to see massive pain happen is this world, possibly our world

ME: Plenty of people are making changes, you’re not one of them

FRIEND: Who?

ME: Lots of people going vegan, flying less, getting better cars. It’s happening but you can’t be bothered

FRIEND: What difference will it actually make?
Have you actually thought about and researched this?
Because you're looking largely like you dont know about the subject !
How many people do you know who have gone vegan

ME: Vegan is a huge growing trend, are you blind, it’s everywhere

FRIEND: Not enough. Are you really this naive? Do you really think this? Have you looked at any evidence for what you talk about?

And so forth. We often have mini fallouts usually when I lose it and call them an idiot! But we’re really good friends outside of this type of discussion and as long as we stay off politics get on fine!

OP posts:
Original poster
Shortstuff99 · 07/08/2019 23:11

Ask her what's the point of you changing in that case?

YES!!!!! Solved!!!!

OP posts:
JazzyGG · 07/08/2019 23:11

She's like the champagne socialist of climate change...

OwlinaTree · 07/08/2019 23:11

She is probably right tho, sorry.

OwlinaTree · 07/08/2019 23:12

We need world wide change to energy production, waste, food production.

Original poster
Shortstuff99 · 07/08/2019 23:14

She is probably right tho, sorry.

Well sure you’re not wrong on that but why the preaching to me about my lifestyle all the time, that’s what is annoying.

I do have a polluting car but hardly ever use it, it mainly sits on my drive! and I do most of my milage in a Smart that does 65mpg and is so low emissions it’s zero rated for tax

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 07/08/2019 23:15

Your quoted convo doesn't imply to me that she is suggesting you change, she is concerned that as a planet we need to change.

Original poster
Shortstuff99 · 07/08/2019 23:18

Your quoted convo doesn't imply to me that she is suggesting you change, she is concerned that as a planet we need to change.

Well sure in that one yes, but do you see any hypocrisy in someone making no effort themselves to change anything, going on about it. I gave them a foldable reusable metal drinking straw in a little case that you can put in your key ring. They don’t use it though, can’t be bothered to cary it around and apparently ‘wouldn’t make much difference’

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 07/08/2019 23:21

Well there's probably hypocrisy in us all in that case. We all do the stuff we want to do but have our own reasons not to do the stuff we don't want to do. We justify it however we feel suits us!

Skinnychip · 07/08/2019 23:21

I have an fb friend constantly posting abput the environment and brexit and yet her and her NF go on holiday (flying) probanly monthly if not every 6 weeks. I find that quite hypocritical.

Skinnychip · 07/08/2019 23:22

*her bf

Petsr4life · 07/08/2019 23:29

Some of my friends, mothers, have criticized me in the past for flying a couple of times a year. I usually show them the attached diagram. Still doesn't shut them up though as they have blinkers on when it comes to their own choices, preferring to lay into those whose carbon footprint is minuscule compared to theirs. Makes me roll my eyes so hard.

To find friend hypocritical on environment
Spermysextowel · 07/08/2019 23:33

Why does she need a straw at all? If she has no reason then it was an odd gift.

Original poster
Shortstuff99 · 07/08/2019 23:38

Why does she need a straw at all? If she has no reason then it was an odd gift.

Disposable Drinking straws are a major source of plastic waste. Using a reusable one reduces waste. Many people drink through straws. And given the environmental concerns of friend it seemed a nice gift to buy. What’s the issue?

OP posts:
Constance1234 · 07/08/2019 23:41

Lots of people are hypocritical about the environment. I have a friend who is evangelical about how everyone should become vegan for the environment, yet she is about to have her fourth child, and as a family they fly a lot 🤷🏻‍♀️

Spermysextowel · 08/08/2019 00:22

You’ve replaced something that she doesn’t need (plastic straws) with something else that she doesn’t need (a metal one). Given that she’s only environmentally concerned when it suits her it it seems a futile gesture. I hope that at least she gave it back to you rather than binning it!

Original poster
Shortstuff99 · 08/08/2019 01:19

Why do you think friend doesn’t need the metal one? They use plastic straws... how odd

OP posts:
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