Attitudes at work to working mothers, particularly if part-time

[Notcontent]

Sorry - just feel like a moan and wonder if other people feel like this.

I work in a professional role, in a job that can require long hours and can also pay extremely well. I am lone parent so can’t do those long hours and so I work in a role which pays well, but not compared to most of my colleagues. I also work part time (four days a week) and obviously my pay reflects that.

But I always feel that my boss (who earns about 10 times what I do or more) and others think I am not pulling my weight. My work keeps banging on about work/life balance, etc but ultimately I feel that as a woman, with caring responsibilities, I will always be seen as not doing enough.

I think a lot of part timers get taken advantage of and given a workload that isn't proportionate to their hours.

Yanbu. I work 3 days a week and have pretty much the same workload as my full time colleagues.

Op your job sounds a lot like mine. I’m exhausted trying to keep all the plates spinning but yet I’m seen as not pulling my weight and not being a serious contender for promotion because I’m part time.

My boss is normally really supportive (I do 4 days), but we’re currently recruiting and he suddenly said “I need someone who demonstrates commitment, not one of those ones who are out of the door at 5”...”obviously some people need to be but you know what I mean...”
I’m afraid I do know - whatever he says, he thinks I’m slacking 🙁

Same here. People either forget I exist or forget I'm part time and I end up with the same workload.

Also got told off for not being 'pro-active' in offering support to others. Can't remember the last time anyone offered me any.

I found this when I went back to work part time after my first. I worked 3 days mon-weds and colleagues often made sarcastic "enjoy your long weekend" comments when I left on weds, especially if it was a particularly busy week. They didn't seem to factor in that I got paid less as a result and that there was another member of staff covering the other 2 days. It was also impossible to progress in the company. I'd worked there 6 years and had been highly respected, moved through the pay levels and encouraged to apply for more senior roles but once I was part time I was repeatedly told I couldn't apply for anything unless I went ft. So frustrating!

Yep. Absolutely. Fortunately, I’m in a career with a very structured training programme, and once I get my formal postgrad qualifications I can work freelance. So at the moment I’m box ticking and ignoring the “but Monday is our busiest day!” comments. Tbf it’s also my busiest day.
Thing is, it’s ok for my children to be my priority. I work hard when I’m at work. My challenge is not to apply the same stigma to junior colleagues as they come through the system after me... we need to be the change we want to see.

I know exactly what you mean. I’m basically subhuman in my team as the only part time member. Lots of passive aggressive comments about work ethic and commitment.
I’m moving to a team with several other part time staff so hoping that’ll be better.

Yes I think the least understanding comes from 20somethings who are energetic and have no other interests so work very hard. I always think - in 10 years time when you have young kids you’ll be grateful for people like me who get it.

For one year whilst working part time. I was remotely seconded to another team. At the end of the year appraisal, it became apparent that the manager had believed I was full time based on the work output.

Some companies are happy to let the flexibility go both ways and some workers do that too. It can be easy to forget what some jobs are like at busy times, you're leaving the office because you have to but the work is still there, who is picking it up? I've worked with many professional women and men who leave at a specific time to collect the children (not necessarily part-time, just needing to leave at specific times), but do some extra work where needed in the evening or at weekends. These colleagues might also take a call on their day off but excuse child and dog noise etc. It isn't ideal, but nor is it ideal for others in the team who might have to be working extremely late and work on weekends too.

On the part-time issue, I vividly remember being startled by a part-time colleague complaining loudly that she was asked to send updates by email one week after hours - nobody else was getting out of the office before 10pm because of a major business need, yet she felt hard done by for being asked to do 30 minutes extra in the evening! Now I have my own DS, I'm still confused about how she couldn't prioritise such a small bit of work in that situation.

You know your own workplace and your approach needs to reflect that environment. If a manager is assigning the same workload to somebody on 3 days as to somebody on 5 days then that's a problem and you should ask how to balance the workload to take account of part-time hours; sometimes problems can be fixed that only exist due to laziness or lack of thought by the manager. If it's a workplace with a lot of people doing extra hours all the time, then you need to ignore the grumbles or find something else, it won't change for you. In particular if the workplace flexes for you (work from home when kids are ill etc) then I'd hope staff will go the extra mile, but if the flex is all one way (be here 9-6 or be penalised financially, but also do extras) then just move on, some companies will only change when they work out that turnover is high because staff vote with their feet. If it's just an occasional bit of extra work then maybe you just need to work out how to fit it into your evening so that you help the team out. One major suggestion I'd have to anybody part-time in a professional role that's likely to need extra effort is to ask to be paid hourly; that way at least you get paid for the extra efforts and have tangible evidence to show you're being overloaded.

Yep. It’s standard in a lot of workplaces and it’s absolutely shit.

The real injustice is that you’re probably way more productive as an employee during your working hours due to your caring responsibilities - you can’t waste an hour on gossip at the teapoint or reading BBC News!

I work 4 days and feel invisible. Before dc I was doing so well and encouraged to progress, now I just don't exists. I have the same workload, too.
In the end I applied for a promotion just to prove to them that I'm still good at my job. I got it but I'm just so unhappy. Looking for new jobs but worried I won't be able to find part time.
I was told by one of my managers that I can't have it all. How do I explain to them that it wasn't a choice between work and motherhood and shame on them for making it that way.

This is an issue with part time full stop nothing to do with being a mother.
I worked PT at first with my present company just to get a foot in the door and my work load did not reflect my hours.
There is a lot a people in my company now 60+ taking work pension so gone PT and same again high work load /low hours

It is hard... if you work in a place that has required that committent - long hours, stay til the work is done, not a 9-5... and then leave at 5 on the dot to get to the childminder or drop everything if your child needs you, then you are not showing the committent that has come to be expected of someone in the role.

I copped out - changed to a contracted hours only job (not career), less money, less committent, less judgement, more joy...

Most of the women in my workplace are now pt but there was a time when it was just me with kids and without fail I'd get remarks as I left early.

It sucks but it's one of the many pitfalls of trying to do everything. Now my dc are older I've upped my hours and it's the other women with babies who are realising that full time isn't usually possible with small kids.

I read this all the time. Just about to start another party time job. Hoping this culture is good.

Urgh this is very topical for me. I’m in a professional role and work PT. My commitment is routinely brought into question despite me going above and far beyond my contracted hours (plus always having to answer emails and calls when I’m not working).

Urgh, this takes me back to the memory of a former boss who said to me smugly, after I returned to work part-time (2 days per week) after maternity leave, "The thing that's so great about you, MrsSpenserGregson, is that you get 3 or 4 days' work done in 2 days, so I don't mind you being part-time."

And she really did expect me to do all that extra work in the 2 days I was actually paid for.

That was in 2004 and I'm really sorry that, 15 years down the line, it's still happening to women

I had a different job a few years later where I was the only part-timer and I lasted less than a year - the bitterness, resentment and bitchiness of colleagues about my "luxury" of "only" working 3 days per week was astounding.

MRex Yep ok but the part staff are not getting as much money because they work part time.
Op I always go by the phrase “you will never look back on your deathbed and wished you had worked more”
That extra work that some people say you should be doing evenings or weekends can be spent with your family.
Trex- If a company has people staying till 10 at night regular when they should have finished at five then sorry but they are a shit company who is going to have most of their staff going off with stress as they are obviously taking on more work then the workforce can handle and putting profit over their workforce

Are you part time mrex?
The thing is that I chose to go part time so I would never have to put my job before my kids. I made huge professional sacrifices for that. I get paid peanuts, given all the crap work and no chance of a promotion. It’s worth it because the trade off is that I never have to ignore my kids when they need me like some people in my profession who work full time inevitably do. If I started agreeing to extra work, when I’m looking after my children, then why have I made that professional sacrifice?

I work 3 days a week in the public sector in a team where most work part time. I'm incredibly lucky but I echo the workload not reflecting the hours. It's not the day to day work necessarily as it can only be done at work the handed over to others if more needs doing. It's the bigger development projects thst further your career. I'm doing more on them than when I was full time and feeling like a failure as they don't get done.

I'll admit I didn't understand how difficult the 'days off' were before I had children and I'm lucky I didn't get punched as a 20 something commenting on how tired I was ( usually after a a full nights sleep!)

I don't know what the answer is though I'm afraid

MRex but people also stretch their work to fill the hours. The part timers/leave on timers are possibly far more effective precisely because the know they can't stay late to get stuff finished. How many hours are lost surfing the net, chatting in the kitchen or having fag breaks? What you're describing is presenteeism.

I’m not part time, but have flexible hours. I don’t mind having to put extra time in, but I expect to be able to attend school events/doctors appointments.

My former boss offered me the flexible hours after my mum (who helped with school runs) passed away. When she was sacked I got HR to formally document the arrangement. So far it hasn’t been questioned, but i’m expecting it to be.

I did find this but more from colleagues than managers. The thing i realised was how much time FT people spend totally pointless unstructured meetings where people talked just so they could be seen to be contributing. (I only have 2 employers in my sample to be fair ) So much time is wasted in poor quality meetings. When i went PT i became really particular about meeting.