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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To drink a bottle of wine 3/4 nights a week?

115 replies

Goodnightjude1 · 06/08/2019 19:54

Just that really....

I work hard. The house is spotless, washing/ironing always done. Kids happy, OH happy....all happy.

I like a glass of wine....or 3 or 4.

Never ever drink till I’m drunk. All of my children (eldest is 20) have never seen me drunk. I just like a few glasses to relax in the evening but apparently....according to my friend “it’s too much”

So, is it??

OP posts:
AquaPris · 07/08/2019 14:03

@nanbread alcohol in the future will be exactly the same as it is now. I know many many people my age (20s) who do drugs/ smoke everyday and drink. It's not considered socially unacceptable by large swathes of the population. Weed is becoming MORE acceptable.

toadabode · 07/08/2019 14:12

Yep that's too much

daisystone · 07/08/2019 15:10

OP I am very much like you. Really I know it is not good for my health or my wallet, but I LIKE drinking and it is my only vice. I feel pissed off at the though of having to limit myself.

PookieDo · 07/08/2019 15:16

I like alcohol but as I get older it makes me feel awful

I had 2 glasses of wine last night woke up in the middle of the night needing the loo, have a headache and overall feel crap and tired! I wish I hadn’t bothered

I would feel really awful if I drank 4 bottles per week so I think it is too much yes

My DF is an alcoholic and it was only when I was slightly older I could tell the difference between sober and had a drink because he wasn’t what you class as drunk ie falling over. He thinks (like you) that it is impossible to tell. It isn’t. Your speech tone changes, your eyes change and you can be slightly clumsy. Also likely in a bad mood either in the morning or half way through the day

PookieDo · 07/08/2019 15:17

Also my dads wife died of liver failure and it was indeed really sudden and very horrific. Happened on holiday

verticality · 07/08/2019 15:19

The thing that makes me think it's a bit much is that you're not drunk after a bottle. That suggests your tolerance is pretty high. Maybe bring two of those sessions down to half a bottle? It's not so much that I think you're on some melodramatic soap opera style path to serious alcoholism as that it's likely to be making you feel a bit tired and that I think with reduction you'll get the same result from half a bottle as you do from a bottle.

PookieDo · 07/08/2019 15:21

With the younger gen not drinking I agree. My DD16 doesn’t drink and doesn’t like the taste. Some of her friends do though but most don’t seem to be bothered

ReanimatedSGB · 07/08/2019 15:41

Also, bear in mind the following:
The units-per-week figure is nonsense, it was pulled out of someone's arse when the Government was having a spell of blaming ordinary people for overstretching the NHS - and it's sexist nonsense at that, as it takes no account at all of the wide range of body size and fat distribution.
We live in a world that demands we regard pleasure and enjoyment with deep suspicion - to the extent that the only way some people can get their kicks is by whining and moaning about what other people get up to.
We're all going to die of something. Not all the kale smoothies, vaginal steaming, tedious exercise classes and self-denial in the world will stop you dying of something at some point. And nagging and nannying other people about their habits doesn't get you extra life points, either.

ShatnersWig · 07/08/2019 15:53

The units may well be nonsense, SGB and different countries take a different view on what they feel is a sensible unit per week ratio. But alcoholism and health problems associated with heavy drinking aren't nonsense.

beanaseireann · 07/08/2019 16:02

If i had 15 G&T's I'd be hospitalised.
I have no tolerance for alcohol.
I'm glad you've decided to cut back OP.
Have you had your liver checked ?

sweetiepie1979 · 07/08/2019 16:02

Ach I say if that’s what you want to drink and your all happy and the house is clean and you don’t think it’s affecting your life and you enjoy it who are we to say if it’s unreasonable amount. It would be for me cause I’m rubbish with wine the next day I feel awful also I wouldn’t be able to sleep and I worry about health but I probably do more damage to my mental health with worrying and anxiety than you do to your liver take some milk thistle to support your liver maybe x

Skittlenommer · 07/08/2019 16:05

That a hell of a lot!! Shock

Skittlenommer · 07/08/2019 16:05

That’s*

BlueSkiesLies · 07/08/2019 16:23

I think 40 units of alcohol a week is quite a bit.

Maybe you could cut down to only 3 days of drinking and only 2 large glasses (2/ a bottle) a night as a start?

AlexaAmbidextra · 07/08/2019 16:36

Alcohol (and other sources of enjoyment) are only problems when they become problems,

The trouble with alcohol is, once it ‘becomes a problem’, your liver is very likely already significantly damaged. Bit late then to suddenly wise up.

Reanimated, you seem to have a very strange take on almost every thread I see you on. Either that or you just like being goady for the sake of it. Confused

BillieEilish · 07/08/2019 19:17

SGB is a long long time poster, not 'goady' at all and speaks sense.

Good for you to cut down OP but, the 'guidelines' are madeup and literally everyone I know drinks more than you, Everyone.

Sadly, menopause affected my wine consumtion I hace GERD and so drink vodka instead Grin

Lowlandlucky · 07/08/2019 19:41

functioning alcoholic is how your Doctor would describe you. A.A should be your next stop. I watched my ex become an alcoholic, your excuses sound like his

SallyWD · 07/08/2019 19:46

Way too much. You know the guidelines are just over 1 bottle a week? You probably don't realise how much better you'd feel if you gave it up.

BillieEilish · 07/08/2019 20:08

No, a doctor would absolutely not describe you as a functioning alcoholic.

It is far more complex than that. They don't do that at all.

Anyway, all moot as you said 3 pages ago you were giving up the booze!

I always open these' do I drink too much threads' they are very funny.

ByeByeNarcissist · 07/08/2019 20:17

YABU. You'll be doing your health no good at all.

Leftiefterson · 07/08/2019 20:17

That sounds like a fair bit OP. I couldn’t function with the daily grind if I were drinking that much.

Psuedosudocrem · 07/08/2019 21:02

Alcohol (and other sources of enjoyment) are only problems when they become problems,

The problem with the enjoyment of large quantities of alchohol is that it's always a problem for those not drinking, but never a problem for those who are. In other words the sober family and friends get all the associated problems (which can be hugely damaging) whilst the drinker believes they are having great fun and not impacting anyone but themselves. Ask any child of an alcoholic. So no, those espousing the bold statement above are not being sensible, but foolish and enabling.

feelingverylazytoday · 08/08/2019 11:46

I always open these 'do I drink too much' threads they are very funny.
Yeah, they're absolutely hilarious. Nowt as funny as acute pancreatitis, oesophageal varices, alcoholic related dementia, , liver failure, just to mention a few, all conditions I came across a nurse.I'm rolling in the aisles.

ShatnersWig · 08/08/2019 12:07

Billie Conversely, I don't know anyone who drinks 3 or 4 bottles of wine a week. Not one. I know one friend who on a Friday and Saturday will drink six or seven pints of beer and his health is worsening. He's 45 and looks ten years older.

Cobblersandhogwash · 08/08/2019 12:17

@feelingverylazytoday would you say you're seeing these alcohol related conditions more and more?

Younger people too?