About blowing our birthday candles?

[astonishedzebra]

I have NC'd for this as feel along with my previous posts could be quite outing to those that know me.

We have been to a family child's party over the weekend and when "Happy Birthday" and blowing the candles out was done by the birthday girl, her Mum asked does anyone else want a turn? There was then a huge queue of children wanting to have a turn; pushing, arguing etc and the birthday girl was pushing people out the way to blow out the candles again. It was mayhem.

We have been at other family birthdays where there have been tantrums if said child could not blow out the candles first.

My DC birthday is next month and I am dreading the tantrum when this child can't blow the candles out first. I have no intention of "opening the floor" to children to blow out the candles as I feel like it's unnecessary and we have other things to be doing during the party.

AIBU and how do I handle this?

‘Only the birthday child can blow out the candles. It’s a birthday cake. For the person who’s birthday it is’

I sometimes do the first round blown out as normal and then a group one (with everyone far enough away that they aren’t actually blowing them out but feel they are!

Madness.

Get your child on one side of the table and ask someone to herd all the others roughly on the other side while you pop out. Light the candles, come in, pop the cake under your DCs nose while singing loudly, let them blow, and then whip it back away to cut up walking off and cheering loudly and taking no notice of anything else going on in the room.

Hasn't this exact post been round before? Or are there loads of mega spoilt brats who have never learned the birthday candle rules?

This is what happens when parents pander to their childs every whim. The first time she wanted to blow out the birthday child's candles the parents should have just said no. Now it's a big thing that happens every time. Many people seem to be incapable of saying no to their children.

Whisk cake away immediately your DC has blown the candles out, bin them, cut cake immediately.

@redsheep73
There are loads of spoilt brats who haven't learnt the birthday candle rule. Who cant handle another child being centre of attention for 20 seconds. I know a few.

Get a willing person to be at your elbow.
Everyone admire the cake and lit candles.
Sing
Blow
And whipped away promptly to be chopped.
Candles in the bin

Lessons to be learned here. Lesson one: tantruming child needs to learn that they can't always have their own way and screaming and shouting won't get them what they want.

Lesson two: birthday child needs to learn that they do not have to go through life giving in to every nasty bully who thinks that screaming and trantruming will get them their own way. Birthday child has the right to have something special just for them.

Candles get blown out, put into the bowl of water that's waiting for that purpose and cake gets taken away to be cut.

Today in fact someone was saying to me that their 6 year old was 'bad at going to parties' because ''they seem to always want a present too! ha ha ha''

I smiled and made a non committal noise while thinking 'well bloody tell them they only get a present when it's THEIR birthday. They're 6 not 2 !'. Ye gods.

Thanks for all of your replies.

I've never known this to happen either until this particular family started having birthday parties. Good to know I'm not on my own in my thoughts about this!

I personally hate the whole blowing out candles and the thought of eating cake with one persons spit on it is enough to make me feel sick never mind a whole load of kids spit

There was a post fairly recently where one child was always allowed a shot at the candles. Can't remember if I read an update - am hoping the OP of that thread managed to stick to their guns and only have their child blow out theirs.

Definitely just keep it to the once, and let it be the special thing for your child. Any child who is upset will get over it.

Just don’t do it! Sounds bloody ridiculous! How is that making the birthday child feel special? It isn’t! It’s their birthday cake and they ‘make a wish’ end of.
Sounds American if you ask me.

does anyone have the other thread link ?

I hold the cake and tell the kids "All stand back! only X come forward" keeping the cake out of reach of the other spitty little horrors.

I hate that. At my ds first birthday i helpped him blow them out then my exmil turned and said ok now relight them so exsil youngest ds and another child they brought with them could have a turn. This was bloody after exsil son who was 4 unwrapped my ds present from my mum and had a meltdown because i wouldnt let him keep that toy. At the party just let your dc blow them out and remove the candles then. If another child says just say sorry but only the birthday boy/girl gets to blow them out if anyone else dose the birthday wish wont come true.

Is this serious?

Wtf is happening to the world. When did kids start getting to blow out candles on someone else's birthday?! I'd think I'd stepped into the twilight zone

@TheMaddHugger and anyone else who's interested, here's the other post where it was the OP's nephew who always gets a turn at blowing out birthday candles, and the OP wanted to refuse to let him:

To not let him blow out the candles on the birthday cake?

H2OH20Everywhere Thank You 💃💃💃

This is a.problem that we have had with my nephew who is an only child at the moment and as a result very much pandered too. I have dealt with it by trying to get him to understand that it is not his birthday and when it is he can blow out his own candles. I have also distracted him with cupcakes before the cake cutting and if all else failed told his mum or dad to grab him so my child can cut their cake in peace. He is now 4 nearly 5 and at my son's 2nd birthday said he wanted to cut the cake with his cousin. I said no as it is his cousins birthday and he will get a chance on his own. As the candles were lit ds quickly blew them out and pushed his cousins face away ( he did get told off for this). Grandparents and sil get annoyed that I won't let him blow the candles out as they are happy for him to blow out the candles on their own cakes but they are adults and for the birthday child it can be quite a special event. I have the same rupe for all kids and dd would not be allowed to blow out her brother's birthday candles either, she is 3 but didn't want to anyway. I think the reason for that is that I have never encouraged her to cut or blow out the candles on anyone else's cake. For all the posters who commented on the spot levels, totally right, made me feel very grossed out when I thought about it.

*spit levels

I know someone who put cling film on the cake then the candles.

I used to work where there was a care home registration. Birthday candles were put on a smaller individual cake to be blown out with a larger cake for cutting.

I often use sparklers instead of candles on cakes as I think this prevents the issue of spitting, I can buy sparklers in ages as well. They last long enough to sing Happy Birthday.

@Thighthighthigh That's GENIUS