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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give up on sleep altogether?

30 replies

Secretlifeofme · 06/08/2019 16:44

28 weeks pregnant and for about 4 weeks now I've been finding it impossible to sleep. What with the pregnancy pillow, which I find really uncomfortable, my acid reflux, the baby kicking me and just general inability to get comfy, I'm.averaging about 5 hours broken sleep a night at the moment. AIBU just to give up going to bed? It's so depressing lying for hours next to a peacefully sleeping DH! AngrySad

OP posts:
Original poster
Secretlifeofme · 06/08/2019 16:49

Oh, and the fact that our bed is too narrow so DH is breathing RIGHT NEXT TO MY FACE

OP posts:
Toastedstrudel · 06/08/2019 17:55

5 hours of broken sleep will seem luxurious in a few weeks. For now, separate rooms.

SirJamesTalbotAndHisSpeculum · 06/08/2019 17:57

I thought this was going to be about your baby who would not sleep.

Just wait until it's born. You'll be glad to get 5 hrs sleep then.

OhioOhioOhio · 06/08/2019 18:03

5 hours of broken sleep is amazing. Seriously. Amazing.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 06/08/2019 18:05

What they all said. You got 5 hours of sleep!

Lwmommy · 06/08/2019 18:06

Try to work out what is uncomfortable and if you can address it. For me the big long pregnancy pillow was just annoying but a square cushion between my knees while I laid on my side was a real relief for my hips.

I also filled a hot water bottle with cold water as was constantly too hot. I put that near my feet so I could pop my feet on it if I started feeling too hot.

Can't do anything about husbands breathing (well not legally anyway Grin)

MonicaGellerHyphenBing · 06/08/2019 18:07

Nature’s way of preparing you for what’s to come, unfortunately 😬

thaegumathteth · 06/08/2019 18:10

Sorry was about to add to the 5 hours is going to seem like an impossible dream soon is all likelihood

HerSymphonyAndSong · 06/08/2019 18:16

Yeah I had pregnancy insomnia and a wakeful baby and the “preparing you for baby” thing was really unhelpful and I still think that’s the case. The only thing I can suggest though is that you try to find a way to rest during the day. Hard to do with work etc, but if you can manage a nap at weekends then it might help. Sympathies

catgirl1976 · 06/08/2019 18:24

Yup what everyone else said. You’ll look back in five hours broken sleep as an impossible and wonderful dream shortly. Sorry OP

Aquamarine1029 · 06/08/2019 18:25

Good practice for when the baby comes. Not very encouraging but it's true. Get used to it.

Nabana · 06/08/2019 18:26

I'm sorry but your caps locks bit made me chuckle lol.

YANBU, I hated going to bed when I was heavily pregnant for the same reason. In hindsight I should have given up and just put something good on tv downstairs so when (not if) I woke up I would enjoy it!

user1480880826 · 06/08/2019 18:27

Those pregnancy pillows are expensive garbage. An extra (soft) pillow between you knees is much better.

Get a new bed now. It’s the last thing you will want to go shopping for once your baby arrives. A narrow bed is no good for anyone.

Are you taking anything for the reflux?

tryingtobebetterallthetime · 06/08/2019 18:37

Another vote for get a new bed, if you have the space and finances. I am in Canada and we have had a king sized bed for decades. I am constantly amazed at the teeny beds you have in the UK. Why? I love my DH and togetherness is great, but not when trying to sleep. It will make a big difference not just when pregnant, but also if one of you is not feeling well, it is hot, or you have nighttime hot flashes, like I did.

I personally would really stretch myself financially to get a bigger bed. Sleep is important.

I use a long body pillow for support at night even though I am not pregnant. It would take up too much space in a small bed and I would not be as comfortable.

Have you tried listening to a podcast\audiobook? I find it can help distract me from worrying about not sleeping and to relax.

Congrats on expecting your little one. I hope you get some quality sleep soon.

HerSymphonyAndSong · 06/08/2019 18:37

It’s really really not good practice for when the baby arrives. There is a huge difference between your body keeping you awake and being wrenched from sleep by another person. Both are hard in different ways, one is not like the other, I’m sorry

HerSymphonyAndSong · 06/08/2019 18:39

When pregnant I used to take myself off to the spare room and listen to audiobooks in the dark for hours until I drifted off again. I agree about not fighting it and finding a way to be comfortable until your body lets you sleep again

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 06/08/2019 18:42

Fwiw, apart from the first hellish couple of days, after DS was born I probably averaged 6 hours on a bad night and 7-9 the rest of the time. Obviously there are non sleeping babies, but it's not the status quo and you'll have opportunities to nap during the day! So don't lose heart.

MmmBlowholes · 06/08/2019 18:47

Everyone above is right.

littlemisscynical · 06/08/2019 19:35

Sheeeeeesh! can't the gal have a moan? Sympathies OP. I got better quality sleep with a cluster feeding newborn than I did whilst heavily pregnant and suffering from acid reflux. Sympathies to you.

cardibach · 06/08/2019 19:43

You could stop him breathing in your face by having your back to him - either by lying on the other side or swapping bed positions.

PatrickMerricksGoshawk · 06/08/2019 19:53

If you find the pregnancy pillow uncomfortable, ditch it!

Original poster
Secretlifeofme · 06/08/2019 23:05

Thanks all. I fully understand all the comments about this getting worse after the baby is born, but at least then I'll have a lovely baby to cuddle, and I'll feel as though there is some purpose in being awake, IYSWIM? Anyway, it's 6am here and I probably got to sleep about 2am in the end.

Thanks for the suggestions. I have tried audio books but they don't seem to cut it any more, unfortunately. Also no possibility of getting a new bed at the moment Sad

I would love to ditch the pregnancy pillow but I didn't think it was safe to do so? I have a real tendency to roll onto my back while I'm sleeping.

OP posts:
SpeedyShutter · 06/08/2019 23:17

I would love to ditch the pregnancy pillow but I didn't think it was safe to do so? I have a real tendency to roll onto my back while I'm sleeping. I never had one in either of my pregnancies and noone suggested it wasn't safe not to. I found that if I rolled onto my back I'd wake up because the baby was too heavy.

I used to just not sleep when I was preggers and relied instead on lie-ins and midday naps (work permitting).

I also slept much better and more soundly when the babies were born because they actually slept like logs at night Grin

Lwmommy · 07/08/2019 14:05

You really don't need the pregnancy pillow, millions of people have babies and never own a giant tube pillow monstrosity. Ditch it!😁

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 07/08/2019 14:11

never had a pregnancy pillow- survived fine

I fully understand all the comments about this getting worse after the baby is born, but at least then I'll have a lovely baby to cuddle, and I'll feel as though there is some purpose in being awake, IYSWIM?

soooo doesnt feel like that at the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Get as much rest (may not be sleep) as you can, have OH sleep downstairs or in another room if needs be