Saving money for a Niece I have only met once

[mexicangarden]

I have name changed for this because it is outing and also because I am sure I will be slaughtered. My brother died without really having contacted with his daughter. I got his computer and tracked her mother down through Facebook (had looked many times without success). I have messaged a few times to say I am happy to be in my Niece's life if she ever wants to get in contact but have been told she knows nothing about me. Any mention of
presents for Christmas or Birthday have been rejected. I have started a savings account for my Niece but am I being foolish when my own children could benefit from the money. There is only a couple of hundred in the account so far. Thoughts please.

@mexicangarden but by giving her cash, when it’s a large amount of cash for your circumstances, could make her feel like you’re trying to buy a relationship with her and risks making her feel uncomfortable.

Perhaps giving her £1,000 when she has a big life event like when she get her first house or gets married would be less awkward as presumably that’s something her dad would’ve helped towards?

I just don’t think it’s usual for an aunt to give that kind of cash, especially when they have their own kids.

Why?

StripeySocks29 I will keep saving and see what happens. I would just hate her to think if she ever tracked me down that I had never given her a second thought. And it doesn't help that she is his absolute double in the pictures I have seen.

I'm very sorry for your loss but I tend to agree with @IAskTooManyQuestions. It isn't your place to take over your brother's responsibilities, and the mother has made it clear she doesn't need or want you to. Let your niece find you in her own time, but you may just have to accept that never happens.

I think this is more about you working your way through your own loss. I hope you find another way that gives you comfort.

Yes but it would be unlikely to show that you were my parent or grandparent. You can’t just open a savings account for a random child.
I think you can, the catch is that the money will belong to the child and no one has an option to withdraw from it before the child turns 18.

Op I think it's a nice idea but keep the money in your own name.

Myimaginarycathasfleas she actually contacted me on a daily basis when I told her there was money due to my Niece but she never responded to any messages once the money had been sent.

I suppose she wanted to make sure her daughter received any inheritance she was entitled to, but doesn't have any further expectation from you. You never know, she may soften in the future.