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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you move to Texas for USD 5k more a month

689 replies

Constance17 · 05/08/2019 23:07

DH has been offered a job in U.S, we have children aged 6 & 8. What concerns you most?

OP posts:
Esspee · 06/08/2019 07:03

Taxes are high. DS loses 50% of his salary to the taxman, the cost of living varies hugely so do your research and the culture shock cannot be overestimated.
Having said all that it could be a great experience for the family. Living abroad anywhere enriches your life.

Quizacabusi · 06/08/2019 07:06

Absolutely not. No way never.
We moved to the states 2 years ago and are in a liberal state with milder weather and it’s been a very difficult time.

There are so many tiny differences in culture that make simple everyday things difficult.

We noticed a huge undercurrent of racism and homophobia where we live and it’s even more obvious in Texas.

The strong belief in God is overarching and anyone with less than full on faith is viewed as odd.

Going for food shopping and seeing people with guns on their hip is scary, it is a regular sight but still not welcome to me.

The schools do lock down drills in class and on the school busses which was alarming to our children. Also the school summer holidays are 11 weeks long!! It’s tough and would be worse in that Texan heat.

The cost of living is high, you might get more money but food is expensive, think $1.80 (£1.48) for a red pepper, $1.10 for an apple etc. In addition to rent or mortgage the insurance is high cost as are water, sewer and city taxes.

When you move first you need to be cash rich as you have no credit score and so to set up a mobile phone, a Tv package, car insurance, house insurance, car insurance, buying a car etc you have to pay in full up front in cash.

Banking is antiquated too, there are low limits on transfers between your own accounts and so when you are newly here and moving money to pay for things you can quickly get locked out of accessing your money even though it should be available to you. They do not have direct debits or standing orders, every thing is done by a manual transfer or Cheque. No chip and pin in a lot of places and no contactless payments.

There is more to life than $5k a month and I promise you that certainly in the first couple of years you would not see any benefit of that money while you set yourself up. It’s definitely not something I would recommend.

MustardScreams · 06/08/2019 07:08

No. I’d spend all my life worrying that my children would be shot whilst they were at school.

There have been 255 mass shootings in the US this year alone.

Plus good health insurance is thousands a month. I’d need a lot more than a 5k increases to consider it.

Skyejuly · 06/08/2019 07:17

No. Not Texas.

Deathgrip · 06/08/2019 07:18

Good lord, all the gun violence apologism on this thread!

You could get hit by a car anywhere!
Sure, but you can get hit by a car in America AND be 13x more likely to be murdered (generally, not just by guns) than you are in the U.K.

The U.K. has just as much of a problem with knives!
No we don’t, because you have 13x as many murders per capita as we do. Plus we don’t have any areas of the U.K. where you can apply for a permit to openly carry a knife in your belt. The thought of it is utterly insane.

gUns DoNT kIlL, peOpLe dO!
Much fucking easier with a gun though, isn’t it?

I think some Americans are so desensitised to the gun situation there that they don’t realise quite how shocking it is. I don’t want my kids doing shooting drills at school, thanks. That’s appalling.

Skyejuly · 06/08/2019 07:21

^ agree

Winterlife · 06/08/2019 07:26

Health insurance, on average for a family would be about $1800. You may need private schools, which vary in cost.

Food is not expensive, and you can buy organic produce. Check numbeo for comparisons.

Personally I would not worry too much about guns. I’ve travelled widely in the US, have American relatives, and have never been concerned with their gun culture. I’d be most concerned with drugs, depending on your children’s ages.

MrsMozartMkII · 06/08/2019 07:27

No. The humidity alone would make it a big fat No!

Admittedly I've only been to Houston and that was in July, but it was horrible, like being fully wrapped in a big wet hot blanket. No cooling in the evening either.

MustardScreams · 06/08/2019 07:27

Half my family live in America, including in Texas. Guns are definitely more prevalent than drugs!

lastqueenofscotland · 06/08/2019 07:30

Yeh in a heartbeat

namby · 06/08/2019 07:32

It's a wonderful state with some of the nicest people I have ever met. I haven't read the thread, if you're more Austin area it's much more liberal than other areas. But I would move in a heart beat, loved it. If health insurance was in place.

Winterlife · 06/08/2019 07:32

LOL. Drugs are widespread in the US, sold in middle schools. A lot of the gun violence is drug related.

Tellmetruth4 · 06/08/2019 07:35

When I’ve been over there the news and media has been 100% US focused so it’s easy to see why many Americans don’t see issues with guns etc because they don’t get an outside perspective.

Legal drug pushing is a big thing as well. Every other advert was exaggerating some normal human minor ailment and advising you should ask your doctor to give you a pill for it.

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 06/08/2019 07:38

No. I won't set foot on American soil until they do something about guns and Trump. Also the climate in Texas would be a real concern.

Charles11 · 06/08/2019 07:41

I wouldn’t. I love being outdoors and it’s hard to go outdoors for most of the year as the heat is so stifling.
The news has made me feel quite nervous of being in the states.

HorridHenrysNits · 06/08/2019 07:45

No, it's still Texas however much you earn.

KioreWahine · 06/08/2019 07:47

I don't know if this has been mentioned up thread so apologies if it has.

I met a psychologist from the States a few weeks ago. She told me she was concerned about the lockdown drills and their impact on kids.

I'd imagined they were a bit like the ones we have in NZ - stay in your classroom or evacuate.

Her primary aged daughter has drills where they hide in cupboards while people ban on the doors and scream at them. One school staged a mock execution. here

And schools buy bullet proof whiteboards.

So no, I personally would not move to the US.

growlingbear · 06/08/2019 07:49

I think I'd go for it. There's a British school in Houston and an international one in Austin so you can keep them in UK education for a smooth transition when you come back. You'll have a house three times the size of anything in UK, probably with a pool. A friend did it, moving back and forth from Texas to UK throughout her DCs childhood. She is American but prefers life in UK and her DC preferred life in the States and returned for college.

I honestly wouldn't worry about healthcare. You just pay high insurance premiums there instead of high taxes here.

I'd be excited by the adventure.

zafferana · 06/08/2019 07:50

No, I wouldn't. Texas is really, really hot in the summer to the point where you can't really be outside apart from first thing in the morning and when the sun has gone down - and even then it's still hot - so you basically have to live indoors in the aircon.

Then factor in the gun issue (pretty much everyone has guns in their house in Texas), the huge distances between everywhere, the lack of pavements so you have to drive absolutely everywhere, the lack of culture (it's very modern and soulless, apart from a small number of monuments), and Trump. I also don't like the mindset of the vast majority of Americans who live in Texas - it's not just a red state, it's THE red state - lots of rabid Trump supporters and the mindset that goes with that IYKWIM!

feelingverylazytoday · 06/08/2019 07:51

Yes, gun crime. Better than some places though

You just get it really, do you?

It's not just the fact that there is a gun 'problem', it's that it's so accepted as a fact of life, and that's there's nothing that can be done about it, even in small steps. There is something very wrong when a society in the first world (so there are resources) just accepts mass killings on this scale.

Roussette · 06/08/2019 07:56

In answer to the OP... not in a million years, from what I know. I couldn't cope with the forced religion for starters. My DSis lived in a red state for a number of years, I used to visit, everything is based around God whether you like it or not.

And then there's the guns, which goes without saying. And Trump.

IdaBWells · 06/08/2019 08:01

I know it is all very scary but still statistically very rare. I am in the USA and it is a vast country, you could fit the landmass of the entire EU plus Eastern Europe into the US easily. You are statistically much more likely to be shot if you are a young African American male living in a urban area, just like in London, Glasgow or any area or country. Gun and knife crime is concentrated among young men who are involved in crime, drugs and gangs OR others who live in the same neighborhoods and become victims. I have lived here for decades and my family and I have never encountered or witnessed any act of violence with a gun. However in London my cousin was knifed in the back. There is more gun violence here because there are more guns, but the random attacks as horrific as they are are still highly unlikely to ever happen to you. If you choose to live in a safe community (which means most of the US) it's very unlikely.

HotChocolateLover · 06/08/2019 08:01

Well that was a totally pointless 10 page read seeing as the OP has disappeared. One of my pet hates on MN Hmm

Adversecamber22 · 06/08/2019 08:02

We have relatives in America, Houston, Boston, and Chicago. My half brother moved there and remained there, his dc moved all round the country for work purposes. I’m off to a family wedding in two weeks, it’s about my 20th trip in 30 years. I do like the states for a holiday but there is no way I would want to live there. Upthread someone has pointed out how all of a sudden England doesn’t seem so bad. As much as it’s obvious no country is perfect that’s how I have always felt and I suffered horrific racist bullying as a mixed race kid in the 1970’s and 1980’s.

isthatapugunicorn · 06/08/2019 08:04

In Texas - and yes i have been, lots-
Guns. Everyone has guns
Guns in schools - your kids WILL do active shooter drills
Racism. It’s insidious and constant the south
The heat