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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you move to Texas for USD 5k more a month

689 replies

Constance17 · 05/08/2019 23:07

DH has been offered a job in U.S, we have children aged 6 & 8. What concerns you most?

OP posts:
fluffygown · 07/08/2019 18:17

I wouldn't move to Texas. Going for a holiday yes but not living there. Racism, politics and crime would be my biggest concerns.

Beesandcheese · 07/08/2019 18:18

No way. I wouldn't even visit the place!
Also you'd need at least 15k more just for things you'd need to sort/ cost of living etc

Lillyringlet · 07/08/2019 18:18

Husband had his family fly out there at that age and he hated it. It is a very anti intellectual culture out there. There has been over 240 mass shootings this year already. Health insurance, any flights home to see family, moving costs will eat that up.

We have brexit though going to cripple the UK and they have declared that rations might be brought back... So leaving might be a good idea!

Troels · 07/08/2019 18:20

pallisers I lived 30 years in California (rural) and don't agree with Mutinerie either.
All my kids were born and raised there, one left at home, now in UK high school. I have a friend now who raised her boys in Cork and the similarities when we talk about them growing up are surprising. Things I thought were American were also very Irish.
Texas is a state I still wouldn't want to live in, but visiting would be nice. I have old friends who moved to woodland with their houseful of boys, they love it.

FeckTheMagicDragon · 07/08/2019 18:20

Do it. We did, some adjustments but totally worth it!

Constance17 · 07/08/2019 18:21

Update: DH and I are putting the move on hold. We don't feel the increase in money would make a massive difference in the quality of life. We are content with what we have.

Much love to all x

OP posts:
FelicisNox · 07/08/2019 18:22

Too many variables but on the face of it, yes.

5k is 5k.

The politics here is 💩
The weather here is 💩
Children here are being stabbed
The NHS is going down the pan

If it's short term you will need to reconsider reintegration because it's harder than you think on children but that's not to say it can't be done.

I think it's the opportunity of a lifetime.

sergeilavrov · 07/08/2019 18:24

Having lived in The Woodlands area of Texas and being likely to return, we’ve looked into private education there quite extensively in order to avoid the religious and political constraints on state education as well as the overemphasis on standardized testing. We’ve put our son’s name down for a secular private Jewish school near to where I would work. They had no formal requirement for our children to be Jewish, and I was much more satisfied with the curriculum and we will sign exemptions from religious practice as with many of the other families.

In terms of private insurance, it should be covered by your husband’s work, but look at the documents closely in terms of policy limits and coverage out of state, especially dental/optical. It is possible to get pre existing coverage via work, it’s a negotiation they anticipate having. I have substantial spinal damage from a work injury and that was covered. I was very happy with the medical care received, they even paid for a follow up spinal operation in Ohio at the specialist clinic I’d previously had operations in.

In terms of crime, Texas seemed amazingly safe. My background is around military/defense, though we do not keep guns as a family, it may have made me more comfortable. For reference, my husband is of visibly Arab descent and he never suffered any problems in terms of racism there. He speaks solely in Arabic to our son, and while people found this interesting, no one said anything negative. I speak a mixture of Hebrew and British English to our son, and that seemed weirder to them. We admittedly did live in an affluent neighborhood, which may have contributed to that, but we were pleasantly surprised.

We didn’t have particularly high bills, cheaper than our homes in the Middle East for sure. However, there is close to zero functional inter city transport other than driving which can be annoying - driving isn’t optional unfortunately. Gas is cheaper than the UK. The only thing I found problematic was grocery shopping: I’m extremely sensitive to penicillin and we lived there during a period where animals were still being given it as part of standard treatment at farms. This meant my diet was quite restricted. Alternative diets were not catered for well, and I felt a bit awkward in restaurants ordering sides only or asking them to leave the meat off. This may well have just been British awkwardness at play, as people are very polite and keen to help.

Ultimately, I’d go. Our son has travelled between cities with us since birth, and he astonishes me every day with how wonderfully open he is to different ideas and cultures, how insightful and respectful his questions are and how easily he adapts to new places. I wouldn’t take those experiences away from him for the world, even though moving can be stressful. Feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions, I’m happy to help if I can.

Winterlife · 07/08/2019 18:25

Health insurance, any flights home to see family, moving costs will eat that up.

OP posted that the employer is paying health insurance.

Moving costs won't be $60,000, nor will be flights home.

If I were moving, I would purchase a home, rather than rent. In the US, mortgage interest is tax deductible.

WyfOfBathe · 07/08/2019 18:27

I wouldn't. Especially as my DH & DC are black/mixed race and I'd worry about racism including from the police.

Politically, I'm fairly left-wing and liberal even from a UK perspective. I think I would struggle living in a country and state where it's considered fine for some people not to be able to afford healthcare.

The prevalence of guns and political acceptability (or even advantage) of doing fuck all when there had been 255 mass shootings nationwide by the 217th day of the year would also put me off. I know that my family would be unlikely to be shot, but I would worry about them and about them growing up in a culture where that attitude is fine.

ContinuityError · 07/08/2019 18:30

In an everyday way people have a strong negative reaction to expertise, facts, science, and critical thinking

I don’t think that’s confined to the US.

Caplin · 07/08/2019 18:34

My friend moved to just outside Houston last year with her 3 kids and loves it, they just bought a massive house and pool. Texas is bigger than the UK, some bits are great, some rubbish. Interestingly it is politically shifting Democrat and is a key swing state. 4 republican congressmen have announced they are stepping down as the know they will lose.

ContinuityError · 07/08/2019 18:34

If I were moving, I would purchase a home, rather than rent.

I know OP has said it’s on hold, but I wouldn’t be buying in Houston just now. Oil price falling again and layoffs mean it could be hard to sell.

Aberdeen is a case in point.

HerRoyalNotness · 07/08/2019 18:34

If it helps this just popped up on my FB feed today

Tx relaxing gun laws

Yippee Kye-ay

EmpressoftheMundane · 07/08/2019 18:37

I'm not clear where the OP is now and where in TX she is moving to. It makes a difference.

If she is moving to Houston, here is the first house for rent that I found on Zillow: www.zillow.com/homedetails/18206-Ennsbury-Dr-Houston-TX-77084/28524376_zpid/

Seems like a cracking deal to me.
If she lives in a "nice" neighbourhood, the school will be "nice." Same as in UK, but even more so.

Her families health insurance is covered.
State and Federal taxes if you live in TX will work out to be less than what you pay in the UK.
The dollar is getting close to parity against the pound.
International experience will turbocharge her husband's career.
It's a different culture, but that's part of the fun.

Some of the comments on here have been ridiculous. A lot of the naysayers are talking out of their bums.

The downsides in my opinion are: the weather, too damn hot. The topography, too damn flat.

If you would move to Dubai or South Africa for the money, then Texas should be a cakewalk.

HerRoyalNotness · 07/08/2019 18:38

Housing is a bit weird here, people don’t buy to appreciate/invest value in houses, it’s a home. Our house hasn’t increased in 6years despite being in a good school zone and easy access to the highways, close to shopping. Plenty will sell at a loss too, they just accept it. Still, rent for our house would have been 2500-3k when we moved here, mortgage is 1k, plus 1200 for property tax and insurance. No way could we afford to pay rent here.

Caplin · 07/08/2019 18:38

Should add, her teen daughter is much happier and has stopped trowelling on make up and dressing like Little Mix. Teens are mostly more polite and wholesome there.

HerRoyalNotness · 07/08/2019 18:41

Would avoid that area, that house did not flood, but that area did in Harvey. We’ve had floods every year for the last 4-5years. Kids off school for between 3 days and 2 weeks (Harvey). DHs office in the galleria closed for a week as the basement flooded one year and they lost all of their network equipment.

OVienna · 07/08/2019 18:43

@Caplin

4 republican congressmen have announced they are stepping down as the know they will lose.

I wish this were true. Even Beto lost. I hope it is true.

I mean - as I said before, there is a lot of stereotyping on this thread and I am sure it is possible to move to Texas and meet liberally minded people who don't own guns or support Trump. I'm sure you could have a whale of a time. BUT - the stereotypes are also not THAT wide of the mark overall. I think it's important not to kid yourself. "Moderate, middle of the road" mindset, people's ideas of "mainstream" thinking will not be the same as the UK. At the very least, expect you might need a long settling in period. Be prepared for that.

Whatsername7 · 07/08/2019 18:47

That house is lovely but the rent is astronomical. My mortgage is £700 per month on a decent sized 3 bed semi.

EmpressoftheMundane · 07/08/2019 18:47

I'm not suggesting that particular house, just very quickly refuting the folks who claim housing would be more expensive

The OP can peruse Zillow herself to get an idea.

Kathygnome · 07/08/2019 18:47

I think you've made a good choice to give this a miss. I've lived my whole life in the USmy dad emigrated from the UKso technically I'm a citizen and could and may well move back. For me, £5k would be more than a 50% increase in pay, which is a lot, but not enough for me to move to Texas.

On insurance, do not forget to take into account copays and deductibles. My annual checkup requires a $20 copay, which sounds relatively benign, but then there's lab tests. Some of these are fully covered because the insurance company judges them to be part of an annual physical, others are not and since there's a separate $500 testing deductable, I pay several hundred for those out of pocket. I need to have a hip replaced (not looking forward) and while it's "covered," there will be a $4k deductible to be absorbed. There's also surprises like when our daughter was born, there were issues, and we needed a late night epidural. Despite the hospital being covered under our insurance and the anesthesiologist being the normal obstetric anesthesiologist at that hospital--all covered by our insurance, but since he was coming in after hours, he was doing so not as part of the hospital, but as an independent and therefore not covered by insurance. We received a $4500 bill. We screamed into the phone for two months before they agreed to not charge us. That kind of thing is normal here. £5k/month would have more than covered all that, but it won't prevent the aggravation and feeling that you have no idea what is going on with your health care.

Education can be very difficult to navigate. In the US, schools are local. So what town/city you live in or what area of a city you live in can mean a drastic difference in the quality of education. You also can't necessarily count on a rich area having good schools. In much of the south, public education has been systematically defunded for generations. Rather than allow their kids to go to school with non-whites, people yanked them out to all-white private schools, and let the public schools go downhill.

Also, while I have no fear whatsoever of a school shooting based on the statistics, you can't avoid the psychological trauma of school "lockdown drills" where kids are herded into closets and told to not make a sound. Our daughter is nine and I still have never figured out how to really talk to her about this, but you can be assured that she isn't sleeping through the night on days when this happens. And every once in a while, some idiot kid decides to phone in a bomb threat to avoid a test and the whole school goes into this mode for real, sometimes for hours. And this is in the state with the strongest gun laws in the US.

OVienna · 07/08/2019 18:47

"I'm sure you could have a whale of a time." if you met the liberally minded people who don't own guns or support Trump, especially early on and things all fell into place. I should have said.

Also, we are assuming quite a lot about your political views. I don't mean this in a hostile way but really we have no idea if any of this would bother you (I don't think.)

EmpressoftheMundane · 07/08/2019 18:48

I don't think the rent is high for a decent sized oil city.

I bet you don't live in Aberdeen Whatsername7.

ContinuityError · 07/08/2019 18:56

HerRoyalNotness Renting can be a decent option depending on your relocation deal.

Aberdeen rents used to be extortionate but they have dropped a bit due to the massive layoffs over the last 3 years.

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