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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you move to Texas for USD 5k more a month

689 replies

Constance17 · 05/08/2019 23:07

DH has been offered a job in U.S, we have children aged 6 & 8. What concerns you most?

OP posts:
catofdoom · 06/08/2019 20:46

and the good ol' USA feels like an economy first... society second.

Sorry but that is utter shite. Coming from someone that actually lives there. Hmm

MissConductUS · 06/08/2019 20:50

Sorry but that is utter shite. Coming from someone that actually lives there.

@catofdoom, consider yourself on report. You've already caused massive cognitive dissonance by stating that your child in the US attends a very good state school when the revered wisdom is that they're all a dystopian mess.

Sallyseagull · 06/08/2019 20:50

My brother moved to Texas (from london) with his wife almost 8 years ago and it was the best thing he ever did.

Pikapikachooo · 06/08/2019 20:53

Texas is , well Texas ! I work with some lovely people there but I wouldn’t personally

Healthcare
Guns
But mainly the fact no one walks !

But I would not judge you if you did

MrsExpo · 06/08/2019 20:56

Nope. Not for 10 times that.

ContinuityError · 06/08/2019 21:07

@MrHaroldFry - yeah, but it’s not the standard 10 days you get in the US either.

Plus, being on an international contract got us other benefits that added up.

SaraNade · 06/08/2019 21:19

No. No money is worth that. In addition if you are in Texas and you are raped, you cannot get an abortion - yes, I know it's a really, really random thing. But it adds to the point that women have very few rights in the Deep South of America. If you were going to New York City or California, sure. But Texas? No way in the world, even if I was offered half a million to a million per year. And yes, I do sincerely mean it, it is not hyperbole from me, I would not take it. It is not a place for women, and not a place to raise children imo. Do you really, truly, genuinely want to raise your children there? Believe me, NO money in the world is worth it.

BarbedBloom · 06/08/2019 21:24

No. It is too hot for a start. The gun culture, also the religion and the current move against abortion would concern me. I would also worry about health insurance. It can also be very expensive.

Friends of mine have been to the US, including Texas many times and loved it. The last time they went they stayed outside of Austin and experienced homophobia and racism. They said it feels different there now and are going somewhere else this year.

I won't visit until Trump is gone anyway. We are looking at options elsewhere at the moment due to Brexit, but have also decided against the us due to lack of holidays and maternity leave etc

Winterlife · 06/08/2019 21:26

They are lovely people but, they tend to be very religious (therefore somewhat intolerant

The irony impairment of this made me laugh out loud.

if you are in Texas and you are raped, you cannot get an abortion

Untrue. There are at least five abortion clinics in Houston alone.

threemonthstogo · 06/08/2019 21:31

Stop being afraid of the world.

I'm not afraid of the world NamingEtiquette, I've lived in some of the most dangerous places in it. But shootings are not that rare, mass ones a bit more, though daily, but take your point on size. I have spent a lot of time in the US, particularly in the south, and for someone to get mugged with a gun for example is really not that uncommon.

Even in schools, where of course it is less common, it is likely enough that many schools have metal detectors, some have armed guards and they all have active shooter drills. Regardless of whether it happens, do you want your child to grow up in the atmosphere? Texas is also an open carry state, which is encouraging more and more regular citizens to walk around with guns, and causing problems for police by their own admission. Shooting events are common enough that we are increasingly hearing of people who have been in more than one. It's really not comparable to acid attacks.

threemonthstogo · 06/08/2019 21:38

Also, Houston is a particularly bland city with no centre and very little culture. Freeways and shopping malls (good BBQ though) There are some areas of Texas which are great, and much more interesting cities - having visited my ex-in-laws there many times I would not want to live there in particular. If you are talking about trading off crime risk etc for experience, which can certainly be worth it, I would not say Houston is.

INeedAFlerken · 06/08/2019 21:39

Texas? Fuck no.

Right wing, religious and love their guns.

ExpatTrailingSpouse · 06/08/2019 21:42

I haven’t read all the responses but my advice now is to look at your legal situation in the hopefully unlikely possibility of marriage breakdown and child custody, as well as the possibility of work/green card on your own merits. Texas is BIG on not allowing children to leave the jurisdiction in the event of marriage breakdown even for expats.

Had I known ahead of time what family law was in Texas I would not have agreed to move there. It cost me $75k USD and counting to get divorced and get out with my son.

ExpatTrailingSpouse · 06/08/2019 21:43

Also, if you/any of your family are not white, I’d be thinking pretty hard about it. I’m not white and there are definitely strong undercurrents if not overt racism there. I definitely felt a sense of relief when I left.

Winterlife · 06/08/2019 21:48

Texas is not as overwhelmingly right wing as some here seem to believe.

In 2016, Clinton received 43% of the vote. One of their senators is a Republican, the other, a Democrat. One third of their congressmen are Democrat, and that's after GOP gerrymandering of districts.

TanMateix · 06/08/2019 23:41

And just as we are talking about Texas... look what has popped up in the BBC: Horseback officers leading black man with rope

Cowboy country, just saying...

pallisers · 06/08/2019 23:41

if you are in Texas and you are raped, you cannot get an abortion - yes, I know it's a really, really random thing.

not true. But I wonder - if you are in Northern Ireland and you are raped, can you get an abortion? Or will you be prosecuted.

mathanxiety · 07/08/2019 01:01

And speaking of Northern Ireland, and in the context of police brutality - there is a long history dating back to 1922 of selective enforcement of the law, now looking as if it may be repeated thanks to no deal Brexit and the concomitant destruction of the Good Friday Agreement. Internment without trial and suspension of habeas corpus were features of life in one part of the UK for several decades during my lifetime.

Purpletigers · 07/08/2019 01:05

It a chance in hell would I take my children to live in Texas . Guns and healthcare would be my main issues . And then there’s Trump

Purpletigers · 07/08/2019 01:05

Not

SlowMoFuckingToes · 07/08/2019 01:27

Yup. I'd go. Not forever. Houston is huge. You are so unlikely to get caught up in the violence others are quoting...Woodlands is very safe and I imagine you won't be likely to venture into the less desirable neighbourhoods where most of the crime does happen. Go have the adventure for a few years and bank the money. Most of the people on here are just spewing statistics at you but haven't got a foggy about the reality.

mathanxiety · 07/08/2019 02:01

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Woodlands,_Texas

Naysayers can scroll through this article.

People shuddering at the idea of public schools should look at the links in the education section.

Boneshere · 07/08/2019 02:05

Yes in a heart beat. Trump's economy is doing very well, and if you don't like him then at most he has another 4.5 years.

On the topic of guns.. if you're time is up, then it's up. You could die here from a person with a knife or a person with a gun, or there from a person with a gun.

Plus, extra 5k a month? Yes! Go

ExpatTrailingSpouse · 07/08/2019 03:33

@mathanxiety - that’s actually where I lived. The public schools in that particular location are indeed generally very good, in part due to the large number of (wealthy) expats and wealthier people in general. Also they’re very big on the testing - the teaching is going more toward achieving results than learning and the pay is crap so things aren’t improving. They are also fairly anal about attendance because of the funding model I think - an expat friend was moving home and took her kids out for a day or to go look for a new home and the principal tried to tell her she wasn’t allowed (even knowing the kids were being pulled in a couple of weeks and leaving the country permanently anyway!)

The woodlands is a (pretty nice) bubble - first time I saw it, I thought stepford wives (in the woodlands you have to get pre-approval to repaint your front door/house/fix a fence that blew over, and they have inspectors that drive around looking into the gardens for infractions). even in the bubble there’s an undercurrent which I’m glad my son isn’t going to be exposed to long term. literally a mile away is one of the very poorest black neighbourhoods where they get blamed for not being able to put in their own water system (it’s a slave descendant community - wonder why they’re poor?). In Houston the schools are really hit and miss and I’ve read about a lot of resentment over measures the education board tries to make things more even (distribution of funding, busing students from disadvantaged neighbourhoods into top schools).

Montgomery county commissioners (I think that’s the right one, not the town council) have also just voted to cut funding to meals on wheels for elderly, the women’s shelter, and children’s services. Montgomery county court particularly is known to be very old boy system and chauvinistic - that’s coming from lawyers in Houston (Harris county).

greenspoint (about halfway between the woodlands and Houston proper) is nicknamed Gunspoint. If you’re going to get to know locals it’s definitely on all the expat minds that I know that you’ll likely have to ask about guns in the house if you’re going to have play dates. I often worried about driving in case someone would have a gun in their car.
Houston proper hasn’t got zoning and so really nice houses can have junkyards or abandoned lots immediately next to them. We were told that if we lived in the city it wasn’t safe to go jogging alone in the evening and that we should also get an alarm system. Even in the woodlands area there’s a fair amount of crime.

The driving is also bad - I got rear ended twice in two years while stopped at a traffic light/stop sign. They have signs telling you how many people have died on the highway because it’s so high.

mathanxiety · 07/08/2019 03:53

That's how high school is going everywhere, Expat, thanks to No Child Left Behind and GOP hatred of the teacher unions. It's all testing, and widespread draconian attendance policies are causing mutiny among parents.

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