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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you move to Texas for USD 5k more a month

689 replies

Constance17 · 05/08/2019 23:07

DH has been offered a job in U.S, we have children aged 6 & 8. What concerns you most?

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 06/08/2019 15:25

DH has been offered a job in U.S, we have children aged 6 & 8. What concerns you most?

In addition to the issues raised, I'd be concerned about whether I could work.

DH was seconded by a large company to work in Pennsylvania some decades ago - fortunately I was able to get an H1 visa because I've got a PhD and was working for a IS company which wanted to keep me and allowed me to work from home, funded flights to HQ once a month etc. This is unusual - most wives (always wives...) couldn't work.

If I had kids I'd be very concerned about checking the education, it may be ok going but what would the transition be like if you (or your kids) wanted to return? Some of DHs colleagues had older kids who had some problem with this iirc.

Namingetiquette · 06/08/2019 15:26

Air con is disastrous for the environment though. However much it bothers you to have that pointed out and however many family members you have living in an environment where it's used extensively. Although I suppose it is indirectly reducing people's need for heating so there is that.

What do you suggest all the people who live in such a climate do... move to the UK?

timshelthechoice · 06/08/2019 15:27

I never said A/C wasn't environmentally unsound but as you have a feeble since of humour and find my response hilarious I'm glad to have given you a laugh.

I have a portable A/C and live in the UK. Many friends of mine are purchasing such units for their bedrooms after the last heatwave but well, we should all move to the Arctic so we won't use it Hmm.

I'm about to head back to the UK from Houston today. It's been fab! Yes, it's hot, but definitely do more research, OP, this city is enormous and a real melting pot. The food is unbelievable. There are some very nice areas, same as with any other city and some outstanding schools, including universities such as Rice University and of course, an excellent medical school.

You will only get a very narrow opinion on MN if you post anything about America, this site is well-known for American-bashing.

Try one of the forums BritWife suggested.

HorridHenrysNits · 06/08/2019 15:27

No, and there's nothing in my post that could possibly have made you think that. The OP doesn't though, so their situation doesn't pertain to her.

HorridHenrysNits · 06/08/2019 15:29

I suppose it's easier to think someone has a feeble sense of humour when they're having a joke at your expense.

growlingbear · 06/08/2019 15:30

I so agree with poster imagining this in reverse. You could easily say: London? You kidding? Fundamentalists mow people down on the streets and bombs go off on public transport and your apartment will be a fire hazard and no one speaks English in the schools. And they are all xenophobic Brexiteers who voted in Boris.

Or you could focus on normal daily life in London which is bloody lovely if you like big, diverse cities full of parks and museums and galleries and theatres.

drsausage · 06/08/2019 15:34

Don’t forget the crappy education system in the US. The schools are absolutely terrible compared to even the worst state school here.

There's a lot of competition on here, but I think this wins most ignorant comment.

But like I said, there's a lot of competition.

ErrolTheDragon · 06/08/2019 15:34

In reverse there would probably be some sensible considerations - many quite similar - around education, right to work or whatever.

ContinuityError · 06/08/2019 15:34

We did a year in Sugarland, Houston, but it was about 20 years ago with a toddler. Had a great time, but it is expensive - even on a good company scheme we were paying somewhere around $800 per month on health insurance for the 3 of us. Electricity bills hit $200 per month in the summer. Rent was high compared to the UK because it was a good school area, but we had lovely Baptist neighbours who wangled us a place at their preschool (it was Baptist but not of the brainwashing type of thing that some posters seem to think).

We were very aware of the gun culture - DH had safety training through work, so things like be super polite on the roads as so many people carry. As DS was only a toddler it wasn’t an issue re schools, but it was something you bore in mind on play dates (ie checking that anything was locked away).

Although to add a bit of balance, a boy was stabbed to death in the lunch queue at DS’s very middle class UK school a few years back.

You do get used to the climate (hot and humid) and you need to be aware of the wildlife - huge mosquitoes, black widows, brown recluses, various venomous snakes and alligators. Flooding can be an issue too, as the whole city is low lying, and there are occasional tornadoes.

We travelled a fair bit when we could too - Austin, San Antonio, Galveston, Corpus - and I did a lot with DS whilst DH was at work (Brazos Bend was a favourite).

Won’t comment on the current US politics given the ongoing Brexit shitshow as people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

timshelthechoice · 06/08/2019 15:36

I suppose it's easier to think someone has a feeble sense of humour when they're having a joke at your expense.

Keep flattering yourself, Horrid Hmm.

OP, if you're still there, hope you've been on some of the sites BritWife gave. math gives great advice, too.

HorridHenrysNits · 06/08/2019 15:39

Laughing at what someone else has written doesn't involve flattering oneself.

Crunchymum · 06/08/2019 15:41

Blimey OP, you are a person of few words aren't you?

You've had 13 pages of advice and have't even given basic info Shock

HorridHenrysNits · 06/08/2019 16:01

Actually yeah it is a bit suspect isn't it! Hadn't realised OP wasn't replying. Does rather scream journalist when people do that.

DumpTrump · 06/08/2019 16:02

@AngelasAshes "Don’t forget the crappy education system in the US. The schools are absolutely terrible compared to even the worst state school here. "

What a completely ridiculous comment! The schools my children went to in the US were fantastic. They were one of the best things about living out there and one of the things I miss the most about the US. The teachers were enthusiastic, motivated and very involved in the community. My children loved it there and grew in confidence.

OP - don't move just because of the idea of having an extra 5k a month. The cost of living is much higher than here and you may well find out that you are no better off. We lived in a cheap part of the US but our rent was $2500 for a small three bed house. Health insurance was just over $2000 a month and we had a $10k deductible. If you are working now will you be able to work over there? What visa is your DH getting? Even if he has a visa that allows you to work I think that it is currently taking at least four months for employment authorisations documents (EADs) to come through and you can only apply for one once you have arrived in the US.

However, if you want to move to have an experience and a chance that not many people have then go for it! We loved our time there and none of us wanted to come home!

Lifecraft · 06/08/2019 16:17

you need to be aware of the wildlife - huge mosquitoes, black widows, brown recluses, various venomous snakes and alligators.

Venomous alligators!!!!! What fresh hell is this?

Lifecraft · 06/08/2019 16:21

Don’t forget the crappy education system in the US. The schools are absolutely terrible compared to even the worst state school here.

Yes, that must explain why NASA is so full of total dummies. Hence the phrase -- "Houston - we have a problem"

Makes you wonder why people from all over the world fly to the USA for cutting edge pioneering treatment, if the education is so bad.

NASA, Silicon valley world renowned hospitals...all full of idiots educated in America.

FFS!!!!!

Tighnabruaich · 06/08/2019 16:34

You could fit the whole of the UK into Texas - twice! You'll need to narrow it down for us.

Constance17 · 06/08/2019 16:34

Appreciate all the comments here!!
Wow what a can of worms...

more details:
Houston- Woodlands would be our preferred area.
Visa- I will also be getting an L1 Visa which will allow me to work/ volunteer
Medical insurance- Full family cover through DH's work
Accommodation- looking to rent a place around 2500-3000 per month
There's a spreadsheet and another and another.... looking at various costs.
I guess my post is purely for the heart, reading through comments all concerned with Safety/ stability more than adjustments/ settling in/ culture
Package includes all kinds of stuff

C x

OP posts:
catofdoom · 06/08/2019 16:36

I just say the spiders would put me right off.

We only have harmless ones where I am and I still nearly ended up being lifeflighted to the er from cellulitis and sepis from one recently. (Although that could happen with a UK spider too.)

Fuck the big ones you get in Texas.

(Is anyone else unable to use the iPhone Mumsnet app at the moment?)

pebblemix · 06/08/2019 16:40

I’ve been to Texas and I like it. You need to think about things like college costs though, if you think you’ll end up staying there. Plus what type of education the kids will get. They don’t do GCSEs. You need to pick your location carefully. I’d do it for a couple of years for the experience but aim to be back before kids start senior school

ContinuityError · 06/08/2019 16:41

Lifecraft sorry - I don’t do the Oxford comma Wink

DS has fond memories of dodging the (non venomous) alligators and playing avoid the fecking enormous water moccasin Shock

gwenneh · 06/08/2019 16:44

Even with the company contributing 100% of the cost of health insurance you'll still need to review the co-pays (what you pay at the doctor/hospital), the deductible (how much you pay out before coverage kicks in), the out-of-pocket maximum (the most your insurance will make you pay in a year), and the prescription plan (one of mine is $1200 a month).

timshelthechoice · 06/08/2019 16:48

The Woodlands is a nice area.

ContinuityError · 06/08/2019 16:50

Woodlands is (or at least was?) a reasonably safe area - had friends who bought there. Also went to see a few bands at the arena.

Houston houses get tired quickly (heat and humidity) so go for something newish if possible. We also found we were responsible for some of the maintenance and repair costs. A good realtor should be able to guide you through it.

Check that if you decide to jack it in that your relocation costs back home are paid for too. Plus what happens to your healthcare plan if you quit between the time you quit and getting back home.

A lump sum relocation sweetener will be handy for big purchases such as cars, white goods etc. We did banking through an employee credit union which simplified things, and we were recommended an insurance agent for sorting out that side of things.

OVienna · 06/08/2019 16:52

I am originally from the US and have been to Texas - once. But - it was Houston. My experience of meeting clients there is that it has a much more international outlook than you might anticipate thanks to the oil industry. But this is at a professional level. One of the law partners I met was involved in a big investigation in the US at one point and had to travel to NYC where the bankers he was interviewing thought they could treat him like a stupid oik. I think the message: "Don't mess with Texas" came across quickly and ruthlessly.

I have a dear friend in Austin and another friend, who is an evangelical Christian, who moved there to escape the 'PC culture' of California. They were looking specifically for an environment where they felt their values would be more respected and commonplace. In the last couple of years since this has happened, it appears this has become a 'thing.' I agree there is a lot of misinformation on this thread/generalisations that make people sound like Trump when he declared London was a no go area for police and the hospitals were swimming in blood or whatever it was he said. However, the mindset can take some getting used to. I wouldn't live in the US again personally. But for a few years if the money stacks up and your children's education wouldn't be adversely affected, why not?

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