AIBU or is DP about school bags?

[expatinspain]

DP doesn't think we should buy DD a new school bag just because it's a new school year, he thinks it's a waste of money as the old one isn't broken. I disagree. Her old bag isn't broken as such, zip still works etc, but it's definitely a bit shabby. It's a black emoji rucksack and the colour looks faded and she's not the tidiest of kids, so the inside is far from new. I think unless the bag is still in really good condition, a new school year should mean a new bag. My family were pretty poor and we didn't really have school bags, but i always got a new lunchbox and a new pencil case every school year. I used to look forward to it as a kid! AIBU or is he?

How does a conversation about a school bag end up about sanctimonious environmentalists?
Really....you don't see how buying unnecessary things you all the time is a cause for concern environmentally? Get out of your mindless bubble, we cannot keep pointlessly consuming on a planet with finite resources.
Op, now might be a good time to reflect (with your dc) on why you buy/consume stuff. multinational companies with huge marketing budgets have encouraged us to think that anything that is slightly scratched or slightly worn or slightly not new must be replaced. It's a great business model but it doesn't mean you have to mindlrsdly suck up their marketing and buy s* that you don't need.

My eldest dd’s have had their bags for 2 years and one has now broken so she’ll need a replacement. My youngest only gets a small cheap rucksack each year because by the end of the year it is completely filthy! I only replace the older ones bags when they are broken but that being said sometimes they don’t even last a year!
If the bag in question is filthy, I would replace it to be honest.

Just having children is bad for the environment, so most of us have failed already. However, we need to look at improving things otherwise life for our children won't be great.

One of the easiest things we can do, I would have thought, is to get out of the mindset that we need to buy all new in September.

One of the easiest things we can do, I would have thought, is to get out of the mindset that we need to buy all new in September.
I agree. Also, if enough parents at a school start replacing things when necessary, rather than new year equaling new everything, then that can change expectations of children, and pressure on parents at that school. I understand taking children to choose one new thing they want for the new year if there is nothing they actually need, but otherwise replacing when necessary should be the norm.

I got a nearly new Adidas bag for DS when he was in Year 8, told him if he could look after it he could have a new one. He did, and has had that new one for two years.
We've become too much a disposable Society.
The old bag hangs in the shed and is used for camping, outdoor activities etc.

If the bag in question is filthy, I would replace it to be honest

never heard of a washing machine?

Really....you don't see how buying unnecessary things you all the time is a cause for concern environmentally? Get out of your mindless bubble, we cannot keep pointlessly consuming on a planet with finite resources.
Op, now might be a good time to reflect (with your dc) on why you buy/consume stuff. multinational companies with huge marketing budgets have encouraged us to think that anything that is slightly scratched or slightly worn or slightly not new must be replaced. It's a great business model but it doesn't mean you have to mindlrsdly suck up their marketing and buy s that you don't need.
💯% this

I don't even remember buying school bags in primary. Only would replace if broken.

Mine would only ask if bags were broken, I think I may have repaired them.

I hate waste. I used to buy 2nd hand uniform too in primary if there were fundraising sales as did dm when I went to secondary as the uniform was a specific one. My dps were not badly off.

Has this culture seeped over from the USA. It seemed to be prevalent in the USA with loads of offers and back to school shopping week

Your DH is right

I read threads like this and honestly wonder whether people actually think about anything. Like, at all.

The level of entitlement and sheer spoiledness to think that a person has a right to a new piece of tat because it's a new year... Christ almighty.

Anyway... I am not from the UK, and we grew up like most of the world, using things until they were no longer useable. I had one bag for all of junior school and one bag for all of high school. I got the high school bag because we didn't have lockers and needed a larger bag for all the textbooks. Of course the fucking bag didn't look immaculate. It's a school bag, not a wedding dress.

Your DP isn't being unreasonable. He's just not acting like a massively spoiled product of a consumer society.

Omg this could be me posting this. I had the same issue with Oh. DD is starting school so needs a new bag (her pre school one isn’t overly big and has no compartments). DS is going into year 4 and I want to to get a new bag - a slightly bigger one.

OH says we don’t need them but guess what? I bought them anyway? 🤣

I won’t bin their old ones as they are still in good condition. DD likes to play with her bags with her dollies and DS can use his for days out with his dad.

Just to add, as a teenager I used to love getting a new bag for the new school year. I’m not sure if it was just where I live or a nationwide thing but when I was at secondary school surf brand (billabong, ripcurl, animals quiksilver) were all the rage 🤣

This thread has me very nervous now. I always assumed getting new school stuff was part of the excitement. I don't have kids myself but realise I must have grown up in some bubble where this was a given, especially for girls. I did go to an international school in Germany so with it being a private school none of us were exactly struggling but then I read earlier it is considered a working class thing to do. Maybe with my school never having had a uniform new clothes was pretty much a given after shopping trips with friends during the holidays and picking a new bag and pencil case was always one of the highlights I looked forward to. I am absolutely confused to what the rules are now. I don't want to be wasteful but would not want to make them a source of bullying either and I speak from personal experience girls can be especially cruel to anyone not having the right clothes, bag, shoes etc

There are no rules. If you want to buy a bag once a year, then buy one. Forget what people on MN think.

@Nicknacky I will just try see what the other parents do when the time comes and follow suit to what is the norm at that school as it does seem to vary from area to area by the looks of things

My dd1 isn’t getting a new school bag as it’s fine, dd2 I’d getting a new one as the zip is broken. She got a new lunch bag and shoes a few weeks before the holidays as they broke.
Just buy a new one when it breaks.

Because buying loads of new stuff that's not needed every year contributes to waste and emissions. Buy what's needed when it's needed

This. That said, I think buying a new schoolbag is relatively small fry compared with replacing your car every 3 years (unless it's to buy an electric one but even then, better to wait until old car is past its best) or ripping out a perfectly serviceable kitchen/bathroom.

All that said, I might be tempted to buy new this year - after a no deal Brexit you don't know what may still be available and if a bag breaks, it would be more than annoying if you had to wait weeks for new ones to appear in the shops if they got stuck in customs queues.

Has this culture seeped over from the USA
Oh Jeez this old chestnut.
No, Back to school sales in US are big, we used to buy crayons, pencils, paper and printer cartridges. Clothes if they had been outgrown or if not a new teeshirt for the first day.
My friends and I all bought long lasting backpacks, (JanSport in our case) and long lasting lunch bags (LandEnd or Hanna Andersson for us) The bags lasted past school and Uni and Dd has had the same lunch bag since starting school, now in year 10. We replaced lost, broken, and outgrown things.

One of my sons left school over 5 years ago and the back pack I bought him at some stage in his schooling is still used now to take his lunch to work in.
Bag must be about 8 years old and still going strong. It has been through the washing machine a few times mainly when he has used it on the beach but it washes up fine.

New stationery each year, and old stuff that still is usable goes in the craft box at home. Only thrown out once unusable.

Check whether uniform still fits, and replace the items that don't. If it is still in good condition, then donate to school second hand shop. If not, put in relevant recycling.

That's plenty of new 'stuff' to make the start of the year a bit different and exciting. You don't have to replace everything.

Her first bag lasted 4 1/2 years and got replaced mid-year when it gave up the ghost.

I’m interested in the schools where the chidldren provide their own stationery? DD is at a state primary and we provide nothing, which actually often makes her having a bag kind of pointless.

demure hopefully your DC will go to a school like ours with no uniform and where all this pressure about clothes and hair bows and possessions has completely passed us by. Unlikely, from what I read on MN, but hopefully.

Nah it’s not a class thing or a wealth thing.

It’s a fucking intelligence thing.

You do realise that if we all carry on consuming and wasting in the way we are, then our children’s children, or maybe even our actual children, will be starving to death on a dying planet and cursing us.

I recently read Barbara Kingsolver’s latest book, where the main character’s daughter is astounded at her parents’ generation and their materialism. She’d be having a fit on this thread!