AIBU or is DP about school bags?

[expatinspain]

DP doesn't think we should buy DD a new school bag just because it's a new school year, he thinks it's a waste of money as the old one isn't broken. I disagree. Her old bag isn't broken as such, zip still works etc, but it's definitely a bit shabby. It's a black emoji rucksack and the colour looks faded and she's not the tidiest of kids, so the inside is far from new. I think unless the bag is still in really good condition, a new school year should mean a new bag. My family were pretty poor and we didn't really have school bags, but i always got a new lunchbox and a new pencil case every school year. I used to look forward to it as a kid! AIBU or is he?

@OrdinarySnowflake i live our branded bags and strict uniform - a lot less competition

Agree with your DH. If it’s not broken then use it again until it does break. Just put it in the washing machine.

I'm quite heartened by the number of posters who would put it in the washing machine. I thought the number of "new year, new bag" posters would be overwhelming.

Never heard of a smiggle bag, will have to google. DS2 has a uniform backpack and will be reusing it. The only new items he's getting are trousers and socks. I don't have money to burn throwing away a perfectly good bag and buying an identical one. Luckily no one cares at his school, it's one of the reasons I like it there.

Never heard of a smiggle bag, will have to google. DS2 has a uniform backpack and will be reusing it. The only new items he's getting are trousers and socks. I don't have money to burn throwing away a perfectly good bag and buying an identical one. Luckily no one cares at his school, it's one of the reasons I like it there.

Never heard of a smiggle bag, will have to google. DS2 has a uniform backpack and will be reusing it. The only new items he's getting are trousers and socks. I don't have money to burn throwing away a perfectly good bag and buying an identical one. Luckily no one cares at his school, it's one of the reasons I like it there.

Never heard of a smiggle bag, will have to google. DS2 has a uniform backpack and will be reusing it. The only new items he's getting are trousers and socks. I don't have money to burn throwing away a perfectly good bag and buying an identical one. Luckily no one cares at his school, it's one of the reasons I like it there.

Never heard of a smiggle bag, will have to google. DS2 has a uniform backpack and will be reusing it. The only new items he's getting are trousers and socks. I don't have money to burn throwing away a perfectly good bag and buying an identical one. Luckily no one cares at his school, it's one of the reasons I like it there.

@PooWillyBumBum it’s obviously different when it’s a school logo’d bag- why would anyone be interested in a new one that’s exactly the same?

Your private school experience differs wildly from mine (and I’m ex headington myself ) however I do have more experience of London where private school families tend to actually be rich rather than live like paupers

All this we use it again is rubbish, how many spare lunch boxes do you need? In DD's case it isn't rubbish at all. The rucksack is and has been used for weekends away, sleepovers, school trips etc. This is the start of her third year at school in Spain. The first year she used an old rucksack she already had which was destroyed at the end of the year, the second year the emoji one and this year she wants a new one. She had a book bag in England which we bought from the school and she had that for years.

All this we use it again is rubbish, how many spare lunch boxes do you need? In DD's case it isn't rubbish at all. The rucksack is and has been used for weekends away, sleepovers, school trips etc. This is the start of her third year at school in Spain. The first year she used an old rucksack she already had which was destroyed at the end of the year, the second year the emoji one and this year she wants a new one. She had a book bag in England which we bought from the school and she had that for years.

OP, I’m baffled that your DD knows that ‘everyone’ gets a new bag going into Year 5. Is it a very small school? No, it's a big school with two classes in each year. Year 5 is the first year of the two senior years at primary and the classes get remixed with different class mates etc. She knows because her friends, who have obviously lived here all their lives, have told her they're all getting new bags. They go on more trips etc, including an away one this year, so I'm assuming this is the reason. Although last year on the first day of term the majority of kids had new bags.

My family were pretty poor and we didn't really have school bags, but i always got a new lunchbox and a new pencil case every school year. I used to look forward to it as a kid!
By the way OP, there's a lot in this, my dh was poor as a child and now where any money is free, him and in laws buy everything new and the best of everything. We would have been middling but no one believes how much my parents watched money for everyday things and dmil never believes e.g. that dm owns and uses stuff she's had 20/30 years. They equate new with living and used with something being a let down

I don’t see a problem with buying her a new backpack if the old one will still get used for something and not end up in the landfill. As an adult I don’t only have one bag that I use every day for every purpose and would not replace until it’s in tatters. I have a main bag and some spares/ old bags/ smaller bags/ going out bags etc. All used and loved but for different purposes.

My DD is almost 10 and has had a new bag rack year for various reasons (lunchbags have been reused and we are on our third one now with the other two as spares - I turn them outside in and stick them in the washing machine regularly).

First back pack from M&S- good quality but too small to hold massive homework folder so everything got bent and squished.
Second backpack character generic brand- held out for the year, frayed on the piping at bottom corners. Replaced mainly as character was no longer liked and deemed a bit babyish.
Third back pack Smiggle- water holder net ripped after a few weeks. Stitched back together many times over the school year but unfixable by end of school year. It’s one feature we see and an essential on a bag so needed replacing.
Forth backpack character one - water proof lining inside came off by summer term. Replaced as waterproofing on bag is essential in Scotland.
Fifth backpack M&S. - held up all year. No issues and could 100% do another year.

That said she does have a new one this year. Her personality/ maturity is reaching that stage that her Yates have grown up so much from last year to now. She’s really into the whole Japan/manga/anime thing now so I have let her get a backpack with some strange Japanese computer generated pop star that she’s really into. She’s also got her hair chopped to a pixie cut and it’s definitely been a big growing up year for her. I allowed her a new backpack to suit her ‘new’ style and encourage her confidence in being different. No other girl in her year (or the rest of the school from what I can see) has short hair. 99% have the whole pink/sequins/ glitter thing going on - except maybe the p7’s. She is in love with the new bag and I know she will still use last years bag for various things (swimming/ sleepovers/evening and weekend clubs and activities)

All old backpacks are still kicking around and serving a purpose. The too small one was passed to my niece for nursery. One is in the attic holding Christmas decorations. One is in the cupboard storing the plastic bags that we reuse. One is being used to store her squishes collection. We will now have 2 for sleepovers/ swimming but I’m sure I will find another purpose for one of them.

myself it has never really happened. I’ve bought new shoes at Easter but not later.
He wouldn’t wear school shoes outside of school. I guess some kids do but he is at sport a lot so wears trainers/football studs/boots for 3G etc or his more casual shoes.
My mum’s family all had shoe shops so it’s instilled in us to get shoes measured properly etc. I have never picked up a pair of school shoes in a supermarket for instance. Each to their own. Ds does not go without. There are times you cut your cloth accordingly.
If someone wants to buy their child new uniform every term, it’s none of my business and it wouldn’t register. I’m only interested in my own Ds tbh.

For those of you who buy new every September, If your DC had a massive growth spurt in the summer term so you had to buy new shoes/uniform then, would you still buy new in September even if everything still fitted?

I do always buy some new uniform for the start of the school year. Anything that still fits and isn’t worn out is added to the rotation. I buy what is needed. As a matter of fact DD did have a big growth spurt about 4 weeks before school finished up so I did buy her some new uniform then. She will continue to wear it alongside her new stuff. The issue was I could only buy her a few items as most places were out of stock for blue (slim fit with short sleeve) blouses in her size in May - searched all over before tracking some down. Her favourite trousers were completely out of stock and she’s not a fan of the 2 pairs I did buy but will wear them. I could find the right shade of grey cardigans at all (anything outwith age 3-4 or 15-16 was out of stock) so she made do with too short or wore none. I live in Scotland and most shops only do the big uniform restock a couple of weeks after schools have broken up. I’ve completely restocked for this year now, buying her size and spare uniform in the next size up (as I did last year). Hoping it will see her through the full year but again she might do a double growth spurt and I will be running around in April/May trying to source things to get us through to the end of the year.

Schools go back next week for us.

2 classes in each year is not a big school ...

I have a bit more sympathy with OP since Year 5 is considered a "milestone" year where she is. I imagine this is a bit like buying a new for your DC starting secondary school?

I'd agree that buying new definitely has its roots in a class issue. My mother (brought up in WC family with upwardly mobile aspirations) was horrified when I put DD in the neighbour's DC's old summer dresses. However when my niece went to private school and was kitted out in majority second hand (because that's what everyone does as the uniform is so expensive) that was perfectly alright.

I asked DC if they wanted or needed any new stuff or uniform for school next year. DD has lost her left handed scissors and her PE trousers have a huge rip in, so they will be replaced. DS suggested maybe a pe bag as his got stolen earlier in the year, but then backtracked, and said actually taking kit in a plastic bag was fine. I'm not seeing a huge desire for "things" here. Actually, that's not the case because there are things the DC would like, they just aren't school related and I imagine most DC aren't really that excited by school stuff.

Very wasteful. I'm with your husband

My family weren't poor and yet I didn't get new bags and lunch boxes every year just because, but then I didn't mess them up.

Mine have had the same school bag for 2 years now and they are still going strong but they both want new now and I am torn 🤔

God, this thread is depressing. Posters chucking endless stuff in landfill accusing others of not having an ounce of intelligence

Environmental awareness isn’t an all-or-nothing thing. It starts with small steps (like not binning perfectly good things) - we don’t all have to live off grid to make a difference, ffs.

And yes, I don’t buy the ‘buying new every year but reusing old bags’ story. So that’s 7 bags per primary school child, average two kids in a family, so 14 bags being reused all the time for swimming and sleepovers. Some of you must be drowning in bags!

My 8 year old went through his shoes 3 weeks before the end of school but they aren’t massively fussy about uniform and the teachers said not to bother buying anymore

I did buy black trainers though as he can wear them though the holidays

The way I see it is that she's wearing this stuff 5 days per week, it takes a lot of wear and tear throughout the year. Also saves on normal clothes.

Well surely she d sent wear the same item 5 days in a row? You buy multiple items and I don't see how having new school uniform every year saves you money on normal clothes.

@MissSingerbrains no one has said they are throwing away old bags. I have approx 40 handbags. I don’t think I’ve ever thrown one away that isn’t broken. That’s not even unusual. Why couldn’t a child have a few rucksacks? They’re only bags

Son had his blazer for two years but he is growing at such a rate he couldn't wear anything else for more than a year. He's had a new bag this year and he did ask for it. He doesn't ask for much throughout the year. If he was a greedy selfish brat always demanding then he might not of got it. The old bag will be washed and put in the charity bag. I don't feel bad. I wanted to treat my lovely Son.