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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is DP about school bags?

464 replies

expatinspain · 05/08/2019 20:52

DP doesn't think we should buy DD a new school bag just because it's a new school year, he thinks it's a waste of money as the old one isn't broken. I disagree. Her old bag isn't broken as such, zip still works etc, but it's definitely a bit shabby. It's a black emoji rucksack and the colour looks faded and she's not the tidiest of kids, so the inside is far from new. I think unless the bag is still in really good condition, a new school year should mean a new bag. My family were pretty poor and we didn't really have school bags, but i always got a new lunchbox and a new pencil case every school year. I used to look forward to it as a kid! AIBU or is he?

OP posts:
myself2020 · 06/08/2019 06:11

@Passthecherrycoke true for all the private primary schools around here (6). don’t know about secondary though

user1487194234 · 06/08/2019 06:21

I would buy her a new one regardless of what he says
It's a school bag FFS

Original poster
expatinspain · 06/08/2019 06:31

To be fair the most unreasonable bit about your post op is that you are even discussing it with your dh and he has an opinion about it. Eh? DD in shop 'mum, can I get this rucksack for school', DP 'Your old one is fine, you don't need a new one. It's a waste of money.' DD 'But my old one looks really bad and everyone gets a new one in Year 5.' Me 'OK, we'll think about it and come back another time.' Yes, such an unreasonable conversation with DP 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
expatinspain · 06/08/2019 06:31

To be fair the most unreasonable bit about your post op is that you are even discussing it with your dh and he has an opinion about it. Eh? DD in shop 'mum, can I get this rucksack for school', DP 'Your old one is fine, you don't need a new one. It's a waste of money.' DD 'But my old one looks really bad and everyone gets a new one in Year 5.' Me 'OK, we'll think about it and come back another time.' Yes, such an unreasonable conversation with DP 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
expatinspain · 06/08/2019 06:31

To be fair the most unreasonable bit about your post op is that you are even discussing it with your dh and he has an opinion about it. Eh? DD in shop 'mum, can I get this rucksack for school', DP 'Your old one is fine, you don't need a new one. It's a waste of money.' DD 'But my old one looks really bad and everyone gets a new one in Year 5.' Me 'OK, we'll think about it and come back another time.' Yes, such an unreasonable conversation with DP 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
expatinspain · 06/08/2019 06:31

To be fair the most unreasonable bit about your post op is that you are even discussing it with your dh and he has an opinion about it. Eh? DD in shop 'mum, can I get this rucksack for school', DP 'Your old one is fine, you don't need a new one. It's a waste of money.' DD 'But my old one looks really bad and everyone gets a new one in Year 5.' Me 'OK, we'll think about it and come back another time.' Yes, such an unreasonable conversation with DP 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
expatinspain · 06/08/2019 06:31

To be fair the most unreasonable bit about your post op is that you are even discussing it with your dh and he has an opinion about it. Eh? DD in shop 'mum, can I get this rucksack for school', DP 'Your old one is fine, you don't need a new one. It's a waste of money.' DD 'But my old one looks really bad and everyone gets a new one in Year 5.' Me 'OK, we'll think about it and come back another time.' Yes, such an unreasonable conversation with DP 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
expatinspain · 06/08/2019 06:31

To be fair the most unreasonable bit about your post op is that you are even discussing it with your dh and he has an opinion about it. Eh? DD in shop 'mum, can I get this rucksack for school', DP 'Your old one is fine, you don't need a new one. It's a waste of money.' DD 'But my old one looks really bad and everyone gets a new one in Year 5.' Me 'OK, we'll think about it and come back another time.' Yes, such an unreasonable conversation with DP 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
expatinspain · 06/08/2019 06:31

To be fair the most unreasonable bit about your post op is that you are even discussing it with your dh and he has an opinion about it. Eh? DD in shop 'mum, can I get this rucksack for school', DP 'Your old one is fine, you don't need a new one. It's a waste of money.' DD 'But my old one looks really bad and everyone gets a new one in Year 5.' Me 'OK, we'll think about it and come back another time.' Yes, such an unreasonable conversation with DP 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
expatinspain · 06/08/2019 06:31

To be fair the most unreasonable bit about your post op is that you are even discussing it with your dh and he has an opinion about it. Eh? DD in shop 'mum, can I get this rucksack for school', DP 'Your old one is fine, you don't need a new one. It's a waste of money.' DD 'But my old one looks really bad and everyone gets a new one in Year 5.' Me 'OK, we'll think about it and come back another time.' Yes, such an unreasonable conversation with DP 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
expatinspain · 06/08/2019 06:31

To be fair the most unreasonable bit about your post op is that you are even discussing it with your dh and he has an opinion about it. Eh? DD in shop 'mum, can I get this rucksack for school', DP 'Your old one is fine, you don't need a new one. It's a waste of money.' DD 'But my old one looks really bad and everyone gets a new one in Year 5.' Me 'OK, we'll think about it and come back another time.' Yes, such an unreasonable conversation with DP 😂

OP posts:
julia3006 · 06/08/2019 06:44

In our primary school the teacher encouraged children to use same bags for entire primary school period, in order to be responsible consumers. My son used his bag for 4 years in primary school, and was very happy to do so, he loved it; this was a very expensive ECCO bag, but it was worth every penny, just one machine wash in the end of school year, and it looked as if was bought yesterday, and my son told me his bag was the best. This year we bought him a new one for secondary just to mark up the next step, same brand new model (for bigger kids), and he told me that he plans to use it until the end of school.

Runssometimes · 06/08/2019 06:46

I’m astonished at the new bag every year thing. I didn’t have this as a child. New stationary for used up items, yes. We buy when things wear out and this year my DS needs a new bag, as it’s a uniform item and the size has changed. His old one lasted 3 years and I’d sewn the handle a bit. Uniform replaced only as it’s worn out or outgrown and we have shorts and short sleeves in the summer so I just cut the sleeves off the shirts and turn them into short sleeves and his shorts were passed on from another child and he’s worn them for three years. Too short now so they’ve gone to the second hand uniform shop, the advantage of shorts is that they don’t wear the knees out!

For those people that get their kids a new bag every year - would you buy a perfectly usable, clean one from a charity shop? I don’t recall seeing lots of bags in charity shops so I am guessing these do end up in landfill which is such a waste. I think buying one item for the psychological back to school effect makes sense, but everything seems very wasteful.

aspoonfulweighsaton · 06/08/2019 06:48

North Face was cool in 2005. That's about when my friends were wearing north face costs and Manhattan messenger bags.
I've just remembered our Worn Again trainers too!

Longevity is definitely a good thing. But buying brands names is part of the consumerism that causes so many problems, not just the environment.

myself2020 difficult to feel grumpy about little children going back to school in their light up shoes for gods sake (those little Clarks ones where you stamp your feet and there's a tiny light?). Not really a fashion parade.

ombre123 · 06/08/2019 07:34

Bloody hell buy the kid a new bag lol x

WindsweptEgret · 06/08/2019 07:42

But in between helpful posts some of these posts are really sanctimonious. Fair enough if bags aren't a thing at your school... But to be baffled that a child could like "things??"
I think it's a reaction to the many more posts saying 'I buy new every year, seriously why wouldn't you?!' making out like there it something wrong with not buying new and having no understanding that not all kids care about new stuff. If I bought new everything then my teen would look at me like I had two heads, he likes and is happy with what he has already. It would not be exciting for him to have new things for a new school year, and there are other kids like him as shown by this thread.

CassianAndor · 06/08/2019 07:46

I must say that this thread has summed up exactly why I’m so sceptical about the youth climate change protesters. If they’ve been getting new bags etc every year since starting school, then they’re part of the problem, not the solution. And according to many on this thread, they will have been getting new stuff every year.

Maybe start with your own parents and your own attitude, kids!

OP, I’m baffled that your DD knows that ‘everyone’ gets a new bag going into Year 5. Is it a very small school? DD is also going into Year 5 and would have no idea what anyone, let alone everyone, is doing on the bag front.

Zoflorabore · 06/08/2019 07:52

Always buy a new one here. Currently dd (age 8 going into Y4) likes the Smiggle ones so we tend to donate the old one. She also gets new lunchbox and stationery along with uniform/shoes/coat/underwear/socks and bobbles. I spend a fortune on home made bobbles to match her uniform.

The way I see it is that she's wearing this stuff 5 days per week, it takes a lot of wear and tear throughout the year. Also saves on normal clothes. I don't know anyone rob doesn't buy everything new each September.

transformandriseup · 06/08/2019 07:56

Buy her the bag but re-use the old one. I actually still have a branded school bag from year 3 (1996) that is somehow still going. It’s been used for just about everything.

ineedaholidaynow · 06/08/2019 08:02

For those of you who buy new every September, If your DC had a massive growth spurt in the summer term so you had to buy new shoes/uniform then, would you still buy new in September even if everything still fitted?

Gottoloveabagel · 06/08/2019 08:24

This post has made me really proud of my children who don't want new for the sake of it and realise the impact of buying new for no reason.

All this we use it again is rubbish, how many spare lunch boxes do you need? You surely cannot keep reusing as the following year you get another one to reuse.

In primary school they have school branded bags so maybe this has helped as they had the one backpack for the duration. Lunch boxes are replaced if broken (although I wouldn't make my year 6 continue with a my little pony one for example but I'd expect a couple of years from a lunch box!)

Fascinating thread seeing different opinions and thoughts!!

icelollycraving · 06/08/2019 08:25

No I wouldn’t buy everything because of the month being September. I wouldn’t buy new shoes in the last half term of summer.

WindsweptEgret · 06/08/2019 08:30

icelollycraving, what if they'd outgrown their shoes? You'd make them wear too small shoes for 6 weeks or would the school allow trainers?

OrdinarySnowflake · 06/08/2019 08:35

Well this thread makes me glad I live in an area where all the state schools have an official branded bag and parents are highly pressured to get their dcs that one, subsequently, they usually only need 1 or 2 throughout school.

If theres nothing wrong with it, dont buy her a new one unless theres something she really wants, perhaps have it as an extra Christmas gift or if she wants something sooner, half term?

myself2020 · 06/08/2019 08:38

@icelollycraving why not? too small shoes are really bad for growing feet. plus its shoes - there is now law that they can’t be worn outside school as well