Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To ask for advice on telling my child the truth about Father Christmas

63 replies

JacquettaW · 05/08/2019 20:00

I have an 11 year old DS. He will be going to high school in September. The thing is, he still believes in Father Christmas and I can't send him into year 7 not knowing.

Any advice for breaking the news gently.

So as not to drip feed, he is an only child and he has mild autism

OP posts:

Pillowcased · 06/08/2019 22:53

@minionsrule, but dummy use doesn’t involve adults haranguing other adults whose children don’t use dummies about preventing their children from telling dummy users the truth about dummies. I’m not labouring under the delusion that not doing Father Christmas as literally real is in any way morally superior. It’s your business what fairytales you tell your children, but don’t necessarily expect my young child to work at preserving your fictions.

stayathomer · 06/08/2019 23:08

Told ds (11) in Febuary. Dh went out for a walk with him. We'd discussed telling him and dh had said he knew already. I said I'm pretty sure he doesn't. They both came home quiet and dh told me there was no way he knew and he saw the disappointment and was gutted. He basically just said I don't know if you know that at Christmas time the magic is more about the fun and love and that the presents come from parents. Dh then said he'd love if Santa existed but the magic can still be there. Ds said it later to me with a 'don't worry I won't tell anyone' and I wanted to bawl!! The only thing I'd say is don't tell him too close to Christmas as it'll take the sparkle off

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 06/08/2019 23:21

Im pregnant and this thread just hit my irrational hormonal crying button, so I'm typing this through floods of tears.

My eldest is 11 (secondary next September) but very young for her age and for the past two Christmases has come home upset because people dont believe in Father Christmas and wants a hug. I know I'll have to tell her before secondary but I am not looking forward to it. She absolutely believes- it will break her heart.

Reading this thread for tips.

stayathomer · 07/08/2019 07:14

Oh and I was saying the huge rule I have is even if they know I'd never discuss presents with them, still will use the 'you never know'. My parents were terrible for asking what I wanted for Christmas and I was always adding surprises to the list: I don't want to know what I'm unwrapping!!!!!

hopeishere · 07/08/2019 07:32

My DS is wavering. He definitely doesn't believe in the tooth fairy. I think he's savvy enough not to say he believes if it ever came up in school.

SirJamesTalbot · 07/08/2019 07:52

My daughter figured it out about the age of 5 as I'd used the same paperfir the stocking gifts as I'd wrapped her other gifts in! Personally, I read it in a magazine about the age of 4 but oddly enough it didn't come a surprise to me.

Walkingandwalking · 07/08/2019 10:05

Minionsrule, you seem angry. And the tone of your post has some slightly concerning undertones about my origins or ethnicity. I am British for what it’s worth (not that that matters at all) and very much celebrate Christmas. But I don’t personally want to tell stories to my son who was sceptical of it anyway, to then have to tell him later that I wasn’t telling the truth.
I don’t feel superior about it at all. I was genuinely asking why people do tell these stories. I’m not sure why you have reacted so defensively.

Walkingandwalking · 07/08/2019 10:10

Totally agree deadcucumber.

SilentSister · 07/08/2019 10:23

As with other pp's both my DD's suspected/knew for a couple of years before it all came out. I think most kids don't want to tell you they know, as they fear the reduction in presents! We stopped FC with them when they were about 10, they were all discussing it at school anyway, and they had seen the stash of FC specific wrapping paper and put two and two together.

mamaoffourdc · 07/08/2019 10:44

@BlankTimes perfectly put 👏🏻👏🏻 I dislike the term 'mild' autism

Rachelover40 · 07/08/2019 18:20

I feel as you do, Walkingandwalking. It's ridiculous to turn make belief into fact.

Original poster

JacquettaW · 21/08/2019 13:36

Just thought I'd come back and do an update for anyone who may be interested.

So I told him yesterday. I was expecting for him to be upset but he took it really well. He actually gave me a massive hug and thanked me for all the presents he's got over the years. He couldn't understand how I had afforded all his expensive presents and said that he wouldn't have asked for so much if he'd known. I explained about saving all year and he's promised to take better care of his things.

I also made sure he won't spoil it for younger children and assured him that nothing will change this Christmas and he's happy.

Thank you for all the advice and tips

OP posts:

5foot5 · 21/08/2019 13:44

Oh that is lovely! What a smashing DS you have

Flip

1 2 3