Does this sound fair- bills etc

[user87382294757]

I get PIP / ESA for health problems, based on NI record so not means tested. It is around 1K a month in total if you include Child benefit too.

DH was made redundant when our second child was born and became self employed. To start with we also had some tax credits and the child part paid to me. We have separate bank accounts which we both prefer.

Anyway, over time his self employment has made more of a profit and now, there is no working part (which he got) and the child tax credit has gone right down also.

I used to transfer him some money to pay towards bills etc and that will have to stop. I use my money to pay for the children's costs and food as well and this has risen over the years as they got older and also some costs towards health costs (which the money is meant for also)

So, he thinks I would still be transferring some money to him (around £400 a month). Our bills and mortgage are not high (around 1K in total per month) and his profit was over 20K last year- that means around 8K spare (?) (I am unsure as he says he has extra business costs and the like)

Anyway, does this sound fair or not? I am going to cancel the standing order payment I did make.

Oh also on there threads there are always people saying about how they pool and share their money but I prefer separate finances.

I forgot to mention that we only have one year left of the mortgage anyway so after that the bills etc will decrease to around £500 a month.

It doesn't sound fair at all to me.

It seems to be a shock to him he now has to pay the bills etc now he has more of a profit.

Ideally you should both have the same amount of spare cash once all bills and household expenses are met. Are the DC his?

Yes they are. they are older children and we have been together for 20 years. I think it is roughly the same amount if I stop paying the extra to him- so think that is the solutions really.

It has all been compounded as he did not update me with his profit until recently and last years tax credits was calculated on a lower amount (meaning I transferred more) and they have now cut it right down as an overpayment- which is also annoying. If he had updated me sooner that would have been preferable and could have transferred a smaller more consistent amount for the bills.

Let's hope you don't get into an overpayment situ when dh declares his healthier income

I already did the declaration online and yes they have stopped it for a couple of months then it is being paid but at a lower rate. DH is not used to tax credits and I do that side of it. And of course they predict the next years on the same profit even though it may be lower.

I'll just have to tell him due to this can no longer transfer anything, and that he should have updated me sooner to avoid this in future.

Instead of I think bills might be this much, he might have that much, why don’t you both sit down with actual numbers? You average the amount you send on the kids and food for the last six months, he gets the exact bill amounts, plus whatever other money he contributes to the family and you guys figure out what it actually costs to run your family. Then decide on what you each need to contribute.

You don't have any idea how much he actually made? Or how much he has coming in after business expenses, tax, and NI, etc?
You need to sit down and talk to him properly. You're guessing he had £8K left, but it could be much more or less than that.

You shouldn't be guessing his profits, particularly when you have to update tax credits. If he made £20k profit, is that before tax and NI deductions? You need to sit down and discuss this. I really don't understand couples who can't talk about their finances openly and it is all a big secret. You are married!

It's difficult for tax credits as self employed are often still getting details checked and self assessment done with accountants before the deadline, tax credits say about this and to give them an estimate which is what I have done, this is normal. then you finalise at the end if the year. I mean if it is a bit high that will work out then. But it is quite normal

Separate finances can work, but only if you are both totally clear about what your expenses are which neither if you seem to be.

Would you consider a third joint account which you both contribute to and use for family expenses? Food and children s costs are just as valid as bills and should all be coming out of the same pot and shared.

Do you have a family budget which lists income and outgoings?

His business may have quite significant costs that impact how much money he has to contribute to running the family but he should quantify these and add them to the budget, as should you with your expenses.

If you're not open with each other it's easy for either partner to feel hard done by.

If I'm correct the contribution based ESA only lasts a yr now.
So when you go on to income based, everything will count.

Why don't you sit down and work out your total bills so all household bills + all kids bills. Then work out your incomes, so yours at 1k per month and his at whatever per month.

Example:

Household bills = £1k
Child bills = £500

Total bills = £1500

Your income = £1k
His income = £2k

His income is twice yours so he should be paying twice as much in bills as you, so in this example he pays £1k, you pay £500.

That's fair - a bill split relative to income.

Thanks for the ideas- good plan. We do have a shared pot but just for main bills and not food etc.

It's common to estimate for tax credits for self employed and then update them later on in the year- they ask you for this. So it isn't a problem not having the exact figures just yet as a PP mentioned

Also ESA is not limited to a year as in the support group

You need to know exactly what his profit are and then deduct tax and ni payments plus any pension contributions to get his net income. Then look at all your joint family expenses. In some couples you pay half the joint expenses, in others the residual income is split equally so each partner has equal disposable income. The kids expenses are out of the joint pot!

You need to know exactly what his profit are and then deduct tax and ni payments plus any pension contributions to get his net income. Then look at all your joint family expenses. In some couples you pay half the joint expenses, in others the residual income is split equally so each partner has equal disposable income. The kids expenses are out of the joint pot!

You need to know exactly what his profit are and then deduct tax and ni payments plus any pension contributions to get his net income. Then look at all your joint family expenses. In some couples you pay half the joint expenses, in others the residual income is split equally so each partner has equal disposable income. The kids expenses are out of the joint pot!

You need to know exactly what his profit are and then deduct tax and ni payments plus any pension contributions to get his net income. Then look at all your joint family expenses. In some couples you pay half the joint expenses, in others the residual income is split equally so each partner has equal disposable income. The kids expenses are out of the joint pot!

You need to know exactly what his profit are and then deduct tax and ni payments plus any pension contributions to get his net income. Then look at all your joint family expenses. In some couples you pay half the joint expenses, in others the residual income is split equally so each partner has equal disposable income. The kids expenses are out of the joint pot!

You need to know exactly what his profit are and then deduct tax and ni payments plus any pension contributions to get his net income. Then look at all your joint family expenses. In some couples you pay half the joint expenses, in others the residual income is split equally so each partner has equal disposable income. The kids expenses are out of the joint pot!

You need to know exactly what his profit are and then deduct tax and ni payments plus any pension contributions to get his net income. Then look at all your joint family expenses. In some couples you pay half the joint expenses, in others the residual income is split equally so each partner has equal disposable income. The kids expenses are out of the joint pot!

You need to know exactly what his profit are and then deduct tax and ni payments plus any pension contributions to get his net income. Then look at all your joint family expenses. In some couples you pay half the joint expenses, in others the residual income is split equally so each partner has equal disposable income. The kids expenses are out of the joint pot!

You need to know exactly what his profit are and then deduct tax and ni payments plus any pension contributions to get his net income. Then look at all your joint family expenses. In some couples you pay half the joint expenses, in others the residual income is split equally so each partner has equal disposable income. The kids expenses are out of the joint pot!

You need to know exactly what his profit are and then deduct tax and ni payments plus any pension contributions to get his net income. Then look at all your joint family expenses. In some couples you pay half the joint expenses, in others the residual income is split equally so each partner has equal disposable income. The kids expenses are out of the joint pot!