Does this sound fair- bills etc

[user87382294757]

I get PIP / ESA for health problems, based on NI record so not means tested. It is around 1K a month in total if you include Child benefit too.

DH was made redundant when our second child was born and became self employed. To start with we also had some tax credits and the child part paid to me. We have separate bank accounts which we both prefer.

Anyway, over time his self employment has made more of a profit and now, there is no working part (which he got) and the child tax credit has gone right down also.

I used to transfer him some money to pay towards bills etc and that will have to stop. I use my money to pay for the children's costs and food as well and this has risen over the years as they got older and also some costs towards health costs (which the money is meant for also)

So, he thinks I would still be transferring some money to him (around £400 a month). Our bills and mortgage are not high (around 1K in total per month) and his profit was over 20K last year- that means around 8K spare (?) (I am unsure as he says he has extra business costs and the like)

Anyway, does this sound fair or not? I am going to cancel the standing order payment I did make.

Oh also on there threads there are always people saying about how they pool and share their money but I prefer separate finances.

You need to know exactly what his profit are and then deduct tax and ni payments plus any pension contributions to get his net income. Then look at all your joint family expenses. In some couples you pay half the joint expenses, in others the residual income is split equally so each partner has equal disposable income. The kids expenses are out of the joint pot!

If you get £12k net in benefits, and he has £20k gross in profit, then by the time he has paid taxes, ni and reinvested in the business, I expect he has less than you.

I think all bills should be split 50:50, but that also includes all the children's stuff that you currently pay for.

Not sure why you think you should live for free when you have an income of £1k a month.

You need to know exactly what his profit are and then deduct tax and ni payments plus any pension contributions to get his net income. Then look at all your joint family expenses. In some couples you pay half the joint expenses, in others the residual income is split equally so each partner has equal disposable income. The kids expenses are out of the joint pot!

I don't 'live for free' - currently I transfer £400 a month to the bills and buy all the family food and school meals, everything for the children so at least another £500 a month. Leaving around £100 for health related costs etc. Don't think that seems unreasonable. Good points about the tax after profit etc.

Ah ok, I did wonder when I wrote about support group.

No problem- it is so complicated and changes all the time