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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About my flight neighbour?

203 replies

ReasonablyIntelligent · 04/08/2019 21:24

Just boarded an 8 hour, overnight flight.
I'm flying solo and on the aisle seat.

I get to my row and find a strange man in my seat, the seat next to him (middle seat) is empty.
He initially tries (quite aggressively) to deny that the aisle seat is mine, but eventually relents and moves over to his spot.
He takes both blankets and both pillows with him.

I get seated and then ask if he could kindly pass my pillow and blanket (both stashed about his person). He denies having either and demands that I check my seat because I'm "clearly not looking properly".
Whilst I perform a polite seat sweep (God knows why, I can see the fucking pillow) he slides my pillow behind his back and then drops the blanket to the floor and kicks it under his seat Confused.

Having no idea why I've offended Strange Man, I decide to juts play dumb and ask an air steward for a new set. No bother, though they're super busy so I'll imagine they'll forget for better things to do.

Strange Man has now proceeded to man spread in such a way that my shoulder is at an odd angle from my seat and my legs are skew whiff.

I am not a ballsy person. In fact, I have a fairly strong social anxiety.

There are no other seats on the plane.

AIBU to silently seeth, or am I being a right wet blanket?

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 06/08/2019 21:16

it's saying that it's OK for a man to have to sit next to a nuisance so that the women can be comfortable
No it’s saying they aren’t dicks to other men. By and large true.

WorriedMamabear2000 · 06/08/2019 22:51

Oooh can't wait for an update

Original poster
ReasonablyIntelligent · 06/08/2019 23:20

I still haven't read all the replies, I'm so sorry.

So for a quick update, I managed to read about a page or so of replies before flight-moding my phone so I was suitably buoyed by The Power of Mumsnet to not be bowed.

I politely asked him, again, to please pass my blanket and when he said (slowly, as if I was very stupid) that he didn't have it I replied "I think it was that big squishy thing you threw under your seat"
And for the pillow "and your sat on my pillow, so its okay, we can swap" and took it from his lap before he could argue. He looked too shocked to do anything.

To make it even better, after we were at cruise level, the air steward bought me my replacements so I had two.

As for the man spreading, as tempting as pretending to be sick or faking being a terrible spy out to kill him, I found that planting myself very firmly in my own space the moment he shifted position and then not budging an inch seemed to work well.
He spent about 20 minutes trying to elbow me into submission but eventually gave up.

I don't think there were spare seats to move into, but I was kind of in the mind that if I moved - he'd have two seats and that's rewarding bad behaviour (I was Nanny - never reward bad behaviour)

So there were go.

Sorry if it's not thrilling, but I felt better for standing up (sitting up?) for myself a bit

OP posts:
Cheeserton · 06/08/2019 23:26

Good for you OP.

lrh3891 · 06/08/2019 23:27

Yes, good for you! Very well handled :)

though for future reference if things are really unbearable...I'm guessing you were in economy; a heartfelt and very polite complaint may get you moved to a different cabin if there are no spare seats in economy...

BringMeTea · 06/08/2019 23:40

Well handled OP. What a sad little man.

ThanosSavedMe · 07/08/2019 01:12

Well played op. Great outcome

superram · 07/08/2019 01:32

I once had the person in front recline do much I was pretty much eating her hair. I found putting my overhead blower on full onto her head got her to move. I’m about to get on an 11 hour flight. Sitting next to my daughter but people can be so loud-even with ear plugs-I need to sleep or jet lag will be a nightmare if not!

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/08/2019 01:43

(I was Nanny - never reward bad behaviour)

Love this.

CucinaBreakfast · 07/08/2019 01:59

Rude, entitled bastard.

If he moves at all, reclaim that space in your seat, elbows out, so it's uncomfortable for him. Don't move away otherwise you'll accommodate him and he'll take more space.

I'd also politely speak to cabin crew to be moved.

CucinaBreakfast · 07/08/2019 02:00

Sorry, didn't refresh before my post!

Orchidflower1 · 07/08/2019 06:42

Good for you op! Your calm but firm approach worked well. Safe flight home.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 07/08/2019 07:26

Well done 👍

SirJamesTalbot · 07/08/2019 07:59

Congratulations OP, you handled that well and next time you have a CF person next to you trying to take the piss, you'll know that you can hold your ground, or seatspace!

MumbleLumble · 07/08/2019 08:15

Well done op. I wish more people felt they could stick up for themselves against bullies like him!

Eustasiavye · 07/08/2019 09:12

Well done op.
Hopefully it will teach the prick a lesson.

HattieRabbit · 07/08/2019 09:20

100% accidentally spill a drink on him!

prettybird · 07/08/2019 09:32

Good for you Smile

I've done the "rock" resistance in the past when someone has tried to invade "my" space: keeping my arm on (half of, not encroaching) the arm rest and keeping my leg in my "own" space and pushing back on my neighbour, making my limbs rigid and immoveable. Uncomfortable and hard work for me for a short while, but worth it for the rest of the flight.

Love the idea of fake retching into a sick bag - and directing the overhead ventilation on to an over-recliner's head is genius.

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/08/2019 09:41

Well done. You did extremely well against this tosser!

Sallyseagull · 07/08/2019 14:14

Yes! Turning yourself into stone was a good move. Well done OP.

HairyDogsOfThigh · 07/08/2019 19:23

Yay! Well done for fighting back. I wish I'd seen his face when you took the pillow from his lap.

chocolateworshipper · 07/08/2019 21:23

You're my new hero OP - and thank you for coming back to update us

MzHz · 08/08/2019 06:32

I wonder if complaining to the airline - they’ll have his details - and state how physically bullied you were by him and how aggressive he was with you might be worth a try.

I don’t blame you for not reporting him, the only satisfactory response would be for the crew to insist he move to a shittier seat next or between two professional rugby players... but that’s a daily tall order

He clearly has misogynistic issues and is a thoroughly awful human being, as bad as it was sitting next to him, imagine living with him, or worse being him and actually being THAT much of a pathetic wanker.

MyOtherProfile · 08/08/2019 07:18

But what would the airline do? They're hardly likely to call him up and tell him he's been a naughty boy.

MzHz · 08/08/2019 07:48

I don’t know, nothing I suppose- put him on some sort of wanker watch list would be good.

Wonder if he was as much of a wanker to the airline crew?

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