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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About my flight neighbour?

203 replies

ReasonablyIntelligent · 04/08/2019 21:24

Just boarded an 8 hour, overnight flight.
I'm flying solo and on the aisle seat.

I get to my row and find a strange man in my seat, the seat next to him (middle seat) is empty.
He initially tries (quite aggressively) to deny that the aisle seat is mine, but eventually relents and moves over to his spot.
He takes both blankets and both pillows with him.

I get seated and then ask if he could kindly pass my pillow and blanket (both stashed about his person). He denies having either and demands that I check my seat because I'm "clearly not looking properly".
Whilst I perform a polite seat sweep (God knows why, I can see the fucking pillow) he slides my pillow behind his back and then drops the blanket to the floor and kicks it under his seat Confused.

Having no idea why I've offended Strange Man, I decide to juts play dumb and ask an air steward for a new set. No bother, though they're super busy so I'll imagine they'll forget for better things to do.

Strange Man has now proceeded to man spread in such a way that my shoulder is at an odd angle from my seat and my legs are skew whiff.

I am not a ballsy person. In fact, I have a fairly strong social anxiety.

There are no other seats on the plane.

AIBU to silently seeth, or am I being a right wet blanket?

OP posts:
ThanosSavedMe · 04/08/2019 23:14

Good luck. It’s all well and good for everyone to say call him out on it and I’d like to think I would but sometimes you freeze and worry about repercussions.

Definitely speak to the cabin crew to see if they can do anything but do not demand

Zebraaa · 04/08/2019 23:17

*NoLeopard

Is this another way that men show they can put women in their place? What is frightening is they know that no one is going to stop them.*

No I don’t think this is a sexism thing. It’s just a stupid prick thing.

ILearnedItFromABook · 04/08/2019 23:27

Ugh, what a jerk! This is why I hate some people.

I think I'd be pushing back against him. Maybe bumping him-- completely innocently and not enough to hurt at all, but a sort of physical reminder that you're there and you know he's encroaching on your personal space.

If you can work up the nerve, it wouldn't be too extreme to say, "Excuse me. Can you move over a bit? You're in my space." I know it's scary, but seriously, what's he going to do in a public place, with flight crew just a call away? He's already made it clear that he's a jerk. What can he do that he hasn't already done?

Good luck dealing with him, OP!

StupidlittlepricknamedRick · 04/08/2019 23:28

I had to sit next to a guy like this on a flight. He just took against me as soon as we boarded, for no reason I could identify. About halfway through the flight I had to (discreetly, not whapping out of mipples) breastfeed my baby and it tipped him over the edge, he asked to be moved. It was hilarious and upsetting in equal measure.

PotteryLady · 04/08/2019 23:36

Just don't let him get away with it!

UrsulaPandress · 04/08/2019 23:36

Why what would hullygully do?

Moondancer73 · 04/08/2019 23:41

Oh he sounds a nightmare. Why does he need two pillows in a tiny space?!

AnAC12UCOinanOCG · 04/08/2019 23:52

Zebraaa You think he would behave in the same way to a man?

Smelborp · 04/08/2019 23:55

Hope you gathered up your courage OP!

Honeyroar · 04/08/2019 23:57

I hope Op spoke to the crew. I’m cabin crew and I’d have him up out of his seat while “we look for the lost blanket”. I’d also (loudly) offer to move you to business class if I could “because you look like you’re getting squashed there”, or if there really weren’t any seats available I’d offer you my jump seat out of the way once the meal service had finished and I’d probably (when you were back in your seat) pass you a bottle of champagne to take off “because you’ve not had a great flight”. We can also record that the bloke had been a difficult passenger on our records, meaning he’s unlikely to ever get picked for an upgrade ever.

HalloumiGus · 05/08/2019 00:07

Honey it's interesting that you record difficult passengers but all that happens is that they are denied an upgrade. Why are difficult, obnoxious passengers not banned from flying for a period of time? I know this isn't within your power to arrange but I do wonder what cabin crew make of drunk / disorderly / obnoxious passengers especially since many are probably repeat offenders. Do you ever collectively lobby for stricter sanctions against disorderly passengers?

We have witnessed and heard about more and more disrupted flights often because of aggressive passengers who are drunk or high. Twice last year we were on flights where police had to remove a passenger. It really seems to be getting out of control.

MsJRMEsq · 05/08/2019 00:10

Why would cabin crew offer their jump seat to OP? They are so uncomfortable that I'd make the obnoxious customer sit there!

Dieu · 05/08/2019 00:11

Twat. Hope you're ok, OP Thanks

Teddybear45 · 05/08/2019 00:14

I would be saving up my farts for him. Belching loudly and ordering the smelliest snacks. A hot coffee might also accidentally get spilled on his crotch.

Isatis · 05/08/2019 00:22

You could try the reported response to manspreading of a woman who apparently announced loudly "Young man, I'm a doctor, and I have to tell you that if you need that much room for your testicles you have a serious condition that requires very urgent treatment".

notangelinajolie · 05/08/2019 00:27

Wait till he's asleep and gently pour a bottle of water down the side of his seat. When he wakes he will think he has pissed himself Grin

SkiingIsHeaven · 05/08/2019 00:32

@ReasonablyIntelligent let us know how you got on when you land. I hope you managed to sort something out.

MrsSchadenfreude · 05/08/2019 00:34

Yes, the water one. Keep the plastic bottle close to you so that it is at body temperature when you pour it.

chucklebrotherchick · 05/08/2019 00:35

I feel for you OP but really disappointed that some women still feel unable to shout out twatful behaviour...

Hindsight is great but in your position I would have shown him your boarding card - yes he moved but I would have buzzed the air
stewards and confronted him - he took your pillows and blankets = dick.

user764329056 · 05/08/2019 00:41

What an idiot and definitely misogynistic, as PP said, would he do this to a man?

user764329056 · 05/08/2019 00:45

And yes to him being in jump seat, am ex crew, those seats are really uncomfortable and he won’t be able to sleep, will also be facing passengers for 8 hours, but like sitting on the naughty step

VenusTiger · 05/08/2019 00:47

A PP’s book suggestion - think I’d find one titled “how to achieve the next level in martial arts - black belt”

RockinHippy · 05/08/2019 00:52

It's times like that when I'm glad that my trade means I often have pins attached to me somewhere. I'd be sneakily sticking that ignorant feckers fat arsed shoulder with one & keep on doing so until he moves

Bignicetree · 05/08/2019 01:01

Don’t sit and seethe. Stand up for yourself!

julensaor · 05/08/2019 01:21

I would do the sick bag stuff (after first asking cabin crew for help with a missing blanket and pillow) then I would get 2/3 bottles of water, hold each gulp in my mouth and spew each one back into a 'sickbag' with a gagging sound at 10 minute intervals, for the entire flight.

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