WIBU not going to wedding reception of direct report today

[Waytooearly]

A young man was hired in my department two weeks ago. We knew when hiring him that he was getting married this weekend (because he asked for some time off). I supervise him.

He invited our small team to the wedding reception taking place this afternoon. We're all pitching in on a gift.

I've woken up with a stomach bug. Nausea and everything else.

Now it's the kind of bug where I could dose myself up with immodium and pepto bismol, drive there and make an appearance, and then leave. If I had important work function, like a court hearing, that's what I would do.

But I so want to just sit here at home and drin fizzy water.

So what do you think, should I treat this as an important work thing and muscle through?

Or should I treat it as a social thing and just send heartfelt regrets?

Stay at home relaxing

I wouldnt go. Send your apologies with the rest of your team and still pitch in on the gift. Assuming it's a reasonable size wedding and you're only going to the evening, he probably wont even notice you're not there.

Of course you don't go. What if you gave the bride & groom your bug.

You would be U to attend and pass on your virus.

Stay at home! You barely know him and you’re ill, you sent a present so don’t even worry about it - you sound like a great boss.

Ah good point about not wanting to spread the bug!

Don't go, people will understand and appreciate you not passing it on.

Treat it as a social thing, definitely.

He's a new member of staff, so you don't have a long-standing relationship with him. He's invited you all out of politeness, which he didn't have to do. You've all bought a gift, which you didn't have to do.

Social niceties have been observed all round, I wouldn't push myself to attend if it were me.

Won't come across as, "Your boss is flakey"?

why would 'I don't want to spread it to anybody else' not be your first thought?! especially with a stomach bug...

Nooooo imagine it spreads and everyone forever more talks about their wedding being the one where the food made them all ill.

FFS just tell him you are ill and can't come.
No brainer surely! Why do people overthink these things? How on earth do you manage people when you're this insecure about what they think of you?!

In the nicest possible way, he won’t be hugely disappointed if you don’t go! It was a nice gesture to invite the new team and a nice gesture for you to accept and go. But if you’re ill, you’re ill. Send heartfelt apologies with best wishes for the day. Apologise when you see him and ask about the day and show real interest in hearing all about it. But don’t go if you’re ill.

Yeah I don't know guilty!

I just hate to let people down.

Jesus Emma reel it in.

You've known him two weeks he's being polite.

It's fine to cancel

If I had important work function, like a court hearing, that's what I would do.

Why? It's a bug! You don't take it anywhere there are other people!

Unfortunately it will just sound like an excuse and will probably cause offence.

Because if you have to appear in court Nanny, you can't "call in sick" lol

Assume this is the actual reception and not an evening do, I assume people dropped out and he is filling in spaces if he invited a group of total strangers he knew 1 day to his wedding in 2 weeks time.
So the money was wasted anyway by the a list guests who declined to go.

of course it is fine not to go, he was being polite asking work staff

Really? Not for any reason at all??

Can't imagine the judge wants vomit in their courtroom.

offence will not be caused,

Yes really Nanny

i think it was ridiculous asking office staff who he has only known for 2 weeks!