Honestly I probably am being unreasonable, but I've seriously had enough. Sorry for any spelling (my eyes are puffy after my little breakdown today) and thus is looong... I still may be mid breakdown.
Just had an absolute blazing row with husband, in tears and I mean in floods of tears, he's walked out and I've packed his stuff, and all that's going through my mind is "it's one less person to clean up after." 😔
It all kicked off because yet again I'm tired, I've had to drag my self out of bed, facing all the washing that needs putting away, the dog walk, the vacuuming, the pots and the cooker needs a good clean, there's bin bags to go to the tip because we forgot to put the bin out and I need to also go see my disabled gran just to make sure she sees a face this weekend. The kids have pulled every toy out and husband is no where to be seen. I find he's gone of to work just to put the last touches on a house he's working on, oh he's used all the milk so no coffee for me before we get into the full swing of things 😒
Just so everyone knows, we both work, he is self employed I work 32.5 hours a week. I also study from home, I want to pass my aat. I help my disabled gran with basically everything she needs because no one else does (but that's another off load for another time). We have two kids 8 and 4, our eldest is disabled. Oh yeah and I do all the house work.
My husband thinks he's helping when he does the pots once a week (but 50% of the time he actually just puts them all in the sink runs the water then leaves them) , he loves to mention he takes the kids to school in the morning when ever I bring up the fact he never helps. He hates the fact I let him know that in 6 years he done one wash, that he has no idea how to switch on our hoover (we've had it 2 years) he has no idea where clothes are kept (that's not an exaggeration he honestly has no idea where our kids tops are), we've had a dog for 4 years he's never done a pick up 💩
Now I've tried asking nicely, numerous times, I've reminded and reminded to the piont I'm now nagging.
I've wrote a little list of chores he could do the help: vac stairs, put washing away once a week, clean kitchen once a week (including cupboards and doors) he agreed then ignored it.
All week I've hinted I have a lot to do and have loads of cleaning to catch up with, then leading to asking outright for help. Yeah he said.
Now I'll give him one thing, he came back and went to the tip with the bin bags. I've decided I'll make a start on turning up all the youngest school pants and sewing in all the name tags.
He cones back and wants to go out with the kids 😕 I tell him I've got all the cleaning to do yet and want to finish this, his reply... Can't you just do it tonight. I just ignore him as I can't even reply to that 🤔
He then starts getting the kids ready to go out, without me, just leave me here to do the rest of the house work why don't you, you know instead of getting stuck in and actually doing it with me, then we can all go out later 🤷♀️
I've just lost it, burst into tears and said I've had enough of this why can't he just help. He says he does and brings up the school run, and the fact he just took 3 bags to the tip. But refused to answer when I asked what else do you do?
He stormed off after I've raised my voice listing all the things I do for him the kids and every f*er else. I just carried on doing all my cleaning. I tried calling him a few times but gave up because I thought, I'm not begging him to come home. Why should I?
Now I've got petty, I admit. I thought F you and called our phone provider, told them we've lost the phone. I pay for this all anyway. I've then got bags, and packed all his stuff, I've wrote him a letter explaining why I can't cope and he can see the kids 50 50 if he wants to. 😑 All that over chores...
Now I probably actually wouldn't mind as much if he even picked up after himself, but I scrub the bath after he comes home covered in dust, he leaves it with a horrible black mark. I move his shoes that he just leaves in the middle of the floor. I vac after he's had all his tools in, I'd never let him leave them in his van, but he could at least sweep up the saw dust they've left behind. When he shaves and doesn't rinse the sink. When he makes toast or a sandwich and doesn't even wipe the board 😵😠
But nooo he can't even do that, I feel like I have 3 kids, just that my 8 and 4 year old do help more! So now I'm thinking he' ll be home soon and I just hand over his crap, I'm not even willing to reason, I'm to tired, and what, he'll either promise to start helping do it for a month and then go back to normal.
Maybe he's just as fed up as I am, he can now live in a sty and not have anyone nag him over it.
So do you all think this is a big over reaction or do I stick to my guns?