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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was IBU to feed my baby in this situation?

71 replies

HotGlueGun · 03/08/2019 18:39

So I’d be interested to hear views on a situation I was involved in yesterday. I have a 4 week old baby and my mum has been to stay with me whilst my husband is away to help out with him and my 5 year old daughter. We nipped into town to get a few bits for meals/ the baby and paid for an hour on the car park. Shopping took half an hour, returned to car, loaded shopping and pram when my baby started to cry for a feed. As I was getting him out of the car to feed (he is bf on demand), a lady in another car asked if we were leaving (car park full). My mum (not realising that I needed to feed my son) told the lady that we were indeed leaving... I told her we couldn’t as I needed to feed which she relayed, very apologetically to the lady in the car. She proceeded to tell my mum that it was very unfair and that there was a queue of people wanting to park to take their children to the cinema (massive exaggeration... there were 2 cars). She then drove past shaking her head at me. She drove around another circuit and then managed to park easily. Was lovely being unreasonable in this situation?

OP posts:
WhatTiggersDoBest · 03/08/2019 19:24

YANBU. There were how many spaces in this car park? 50? 100? Doesn't sound like she had to wait long at all for another one if she was at the pay machine while you were still there. Out of all the spaces in the whole car park why was it your responsibility to provide her with a parking space when you'd already paid for it?

RoyalChocolat · 03/08/2019 19:26

YANBU.

When I came out of the hospital morgue where I had been told it was better for me not to see the body of my stillborn son, I crumpled next to my car and started sobbing on the ground.

A man then yelled at me for not freeing the parking space.

Original poster
HotGlueGun · 03/08/2019 19:29

RoyalChocolat... wow, what an awful man. I’m so sorry for your loss 💐

OP posts:
Ellie56 · 03/08/2019 19:36

RoyalChocolat Oh no I'm so so sorry.

What a stupid wanker he was. Angry

Merryoldgoat · 03/08/2019 19:40

You were absolutely entitled to, and I don’t criticise you for it, but you know yourself how hard it can be finding a space, especially with children and I try to vacate as quickly as possible.

I remember trying to park with a sick 2 month old, a 5yo with ASD who was not in a cooperative mood as I needed to get a prescription filled.

The lady vacating the space took an age, then sat and ate a fucking pie.

You were feeding the baby, I totally get it. I’m just saying I think it’s a bit inconsiderate.

I wouldn’t start an argument or lose my rag. I’d just be a bit miffed.

InTheHeatofLisbon · 03/08/2019 19:42

YWNBU at all OP, a newborn baby needing fed trumps her right to park in the exact spot she's decided she wants.

Presumably there were other spaces?

Lllot5 · 03/08/2019 19:44

If you still had time left on your ticket you can sit in the car.
If you were sitting in a cafe feeding then no one would’ve been any the wiser.

InTheHeatofLisbon · 03/08/2019 19:44

The lady vacating the space took an age, then sat and ate a fucking pie.

Really, really not the same as a newborn needing a feed.

I remember trying to park with a sick 2 month old, a 5yo with ASD who was not in a cooperative mood as I needed to get a prescription filled.

Been there too, I get it. So if your 5 yo was mid meltdown, sensory overload and in great distress (again, been there with all of mine) how would you respond to someone hurrying you out of a parking space because they wanted it?

DitheringBlidiot · 03/08/2019 19:45

You’d paid for the space, she wouldn’t have had the option to park there if you’d stayed in the shops. The needs of your baby trump the needs of a grown woman and I say that as a happily child free individual

SummerHouse · 03/08/2019 19:46

Woman was an A hole. I would kindly think she must have been having a bad day and being late and not able to park was the straw that made the camel behave like a test.

SummerHouse · 03/08/2019 19:47

*twat I shall swear if I want to autocorrect you bastard

spam390 · 03/08/2019 19:49

YANBU.

You had a parking space, which was yours for as long as you needed it !

The bloody cheek of the woman ! As if your needs should be dismissed because SHE was going to the cinema with her DC !!!

I'm at a loss for words at the sheer audacity and cheek of the woman !

Original poster
HotGlueGun · 03/08/2019 19:49

MerryOldGoat.... I totally get that it’s annoying when you can’t park but do you really think that me feeding my hungry baby is inconsiderate. Please tell me what I should have done instead? Let my baby cry and vacated the space? Then drive around with an upset baby (you will know how stressful this is, as a mother yourself) until I found somewhere else to pull up and feed him? Presumably, therefore, you feel that the other woman does not need to give any consideration to a tiny baby?

OP posts:
Angrybottlethrower · 03/08/2019 19:49

YABU

ethelfleda · 03/08/2019 19:50

Op, YANBU in the slightest. The woman was clearly a bit dim.

summerhouse that is one of the funniest sentences I’ve read on here Grin

Hermagsjesty · 03/08/2019 19:53

Absolutely definitely not unreasonable. You were within the time you’d paid for & you still needed the space.

Greyhound22 · 03/08/2019 19:57

YANBU - nothing irritates me more in general than someone stalking you to your space and revving at you to move asap.

If someone had said that they were feeding their baby I would have just said 'no worries' and carried on. Parking really does turn people wild doesn't.

SummerHouse · 03/08/2019 19:58

@ethelfleda I am so happy you said that. I often think it's only me that finds me funny. Grin

InspirationWontCome · 03/08/2019 19:59

What a cheek! You did nothing wrong!! You were well within your rights, ignore her histrionics.

I had a similar thing once, I was struggling back to the car with two kids. One very young in a pram and my toddler. I started unpacking pram, loading up the boot with bags, starting loading kids in the car etc. Part-way through I became aware of someone who had literally abandoned their car beside me, looking like they were waiting for my space. She had parked so badly that she was holding up all of the traffic behind her, and the traffic entering the car park.

I was sure she couldn't possible be waiting for me, given that she could see I'd be quite a while loading the car. Car horns started beeping, people understandably getting impact, so she starts shouting at me to hurry up!

I was stressed, had a sick toddler with me and shouted back, nearly in tears. I was livid at how ridiculous she was. I was tempted to just sit in the car as I was so upset and angry.

Sandybval · 03/08/2019 20:05

You were not unreasonable, but when yours are older and getting restless and it's likely they'll miss the film you've promised them, see if you would be a bit irked as well. As long as you'd paid for the space, it was probably more as your mum said you were going to be honest that it became annoying!

malmi · 03/08/2019 20:06

You could have pulled out the space then fed your baby whilst parked in the 'aisle' of the car park. I'm not saying you should have done but that's what you could have done.

gonewiththepotter · 03/08/2019 20:10

This happened to DH and I multiple times on holiday. It seemed weird how there’s this impatient expectation that the moment you return to the car you HAVE to leave immediately.

On one occasion there were some local boys guiding people in and out of free spaces (totally pointless and they expected a tip 🙄) and we’d bought sandwiches in the local town. We walked back (it was a scenic parking lot popular for picnics) and got in the car, air con on as boiling hot and cracked out our sandwiches.

From the moment they saw us approach the car these boys were signaling someone to take our place. We tried to explain we weren’t leaving yet but there was a language gap. So we just sat there eating our sandwiches whilst they signalled more and more furiously for us to leave 🤔 not sure why they thought they had any authority over the car park. They were essentially just beggars wanting tips

diddl · 03/08/2019 20:20

Well from her pov I can see its' annoying to think that a space is about to become free & realise that it isn't.

We've sat having food & drink in the car before when there's still time on it.

Also seen people go back to a car, waited hopefully just to have them put bags in & walk away again.

Hopes dashed!

C'est la vie!

MarthasGinYard · 03/08/2019 20:25

TBH seeing you load car and your DM saying you are leaving....then you aren't leaving I'd have been 🙄too.

MammaBot211 · 03/08/2019 20:30

Yes you were inconsiderate, you could of found somewhere more suitable than a busy car park to feed baby.

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