Am I being unreasonable to be pissed off?

[numberonecook]

Me and DH have been together for 20 years (since I was 16) we have three kids together. I have spent my whole adult life with him and being a parent and always tried to make everyone happy. I do love him. Trouble is he’s always ‘pissed off’ and is very vocal about it

His job pisses him off
The house pisses him off
The kids piss him off
I piss him off
The car pisses him off

He doesn’t like doing anything, no holidays, no days out, no cinema, no meals out, no walking. All pisses him off

We have nothing to look forward to, he’s never in a good mood. Am I unreasonable to feel pissed off? Lol

The kids have even turned middle aged before their time because he’s rubbed off on them! I just feel like I’m not allowed to have fun or do anything normal adults do incase he feels pissed off

(Btw he’s not abusive either verbally or physically and he does show affection. He is generous with money and possessions, he’s just pissed off lol)

Make plans to leave. Or ask him to. Don't put up with this really don't.

My exH was like that. Hated everything. I'd always hear stuff like "I hate coming home to this (the DC), I hate this house, there's nothing good about this life". When we did go somewhere/ holiday he'd be sour faced all day long, never wanted to join in with any of the activities, always expressing how nothing is fun since we had to 'pander' to the DC.
He was NOT depressed mind you; there were other issues too like him being angry and 'letting off steam' at us constantly to the point me and the DC were walking on eggshells around him as not to set him off. He was also constantly threatening to leave me / us since he hated everything so much.
So one day I didn't stop him when he said he wanted a divorce... I just agreed! ExH was gobsmacked as he hadn't actually meant it but by then I'd made up my mind and frankly had had enough of a life of misery.
I think he's happier now too, since he doesn't have to deal with me or the DC much anymore (although they still piss him off on the occasional weekend he has them)...

I know a lot of pp are suggesting that he may be suffering from depression or something similar. I guess it's possible or maybe he is just a miserable grumpy old man who has no interest in having fun with you or anyone in his life.

It all sounds very difficult tbh and your suggestions have just been thrown back in your face. Not sure what to suggest OP but you sure as hell can't carry on like this long term.

Start calling him victor ('meldrew")
And
He needs to get a hobby and man cave to be exiled to

Lots of people here suggesting that he might be depressed. And yes, he might be. But here's the thing: it's perfectly possible to be depressed and, quite separately and unconnectedly, a selfish, whining arsehole. You can also be depressed without being a self-pitying twat.

I've suffered from depression on and off all my life and I go out of my way not to let it affect other people. I absolutely will not let my mental health drag my partner down and I don't express my depression by whining that my life is shit and making other people miserable. I might feel desperately bleak and unhappy, but that is not the same thing as feeling sorry for myself.

Whether he is depressed or not, I don't think that's entirely responsible for his behaviour. Depression can make it difficult to enjoy social stuff, but it does not explain his refusal to eat family foods or his decision to go the supermarket on his own.

My late H was like this. He turned into a joysucker. He drank. He refused to work on getting better. We split. He died. Life is so much better for me and our DDs.

Don't live like this. You deserve better.

My dad was/is still like this. It went from everything making him angry (especially me as a teen) to everything making him fearful and paranoid in his late 40's (with the help of far right news). He needed/needs medication and help but refused it. My mother's life is severely impacted and I moved to another country so I only have to speak to him via phone once a week. She never left him, and I think she is stupid for it. She thinks it is better now he has dementia since they occasionally go to the cinema, but I think she has wasted her life with someone who has NEVER loved her back properly.