To think this is late for an 11 year old?

[Nothingtowearatall]

I know it's the school holidays, but I'm surprised at the time a lot of ds, 11yo friends seem to go to bed.

Ds goes up about 9pm, usually asleep by 10pm. I let him watch a film in my room or read until he's ready to go to sleep, as it's the holidays I've let him watch the laptop a few times.

His phone is still buzzing now at gone 11 with friends ringing and texting, he's been fast asleep since about 9.30pm. A couple of the dc were bragging that they stayed up until 4 in the morning.

Aibu to think it's too late. Occasionally ds would stay up really late for example if we are on holiday, or if he had a sleepover, but generally asleep for 10pm is late enough isn't it?

If nothing is planned the next day its fine. I used to be allowed to do the same to see the sunrise.

I have a 14yo and 11yo (birthday is soonish) and nfw do they get access to phones etc beyond 9.30 pm (ish, bit earlier during termtime). It's less to do with being up late (if they can't sleep, they can't sleep... occasioally the 14yo is still awake at 11) than with the fact that they spend enough time on these infernal devices and they need to be told to bloody well switch off at some point.

(I also have a 3yo who's rarely asleep before 10. It really isn't about bedtimes, for me. But there has to come a point where devices just don't happen).

Im starting to think my children aren't normal ! 7 and a half year old DS is in bed every night holidays weekends the works at 6.30pm asleep usually before 7.30 he's usually asking me can he go to bed straight after he's had dinner at 5pm !
DD 3 never slept was literally the worst sleeping baby/toddler ever 3-4 broken hours in 24 hours would wake at midnight and not sleep again until midnight the following night then at about the age of 2 and a half finally started to sleep and now goes down at same time as DS and they are both up around 5.30/6 everyday
But yet if they go to bed later they will wake even earlier !?
I can't imagine lying in bed until 10/11am.....it's something I dream about doing some day tho lol

he's never up later than 7.30am, literally never.

Well, I have to say-rather you than me with the early starts!

Mine have always gone to bed late in the holidays-they play quietly and watch films then go to sleep at 11/12-then wake up at 9/10. That’s suits me much better!

My 6 year old falls asleep around 11-11.30pm. He wakes around 9.30-10am-ish. It's his natural body clock. He adapts amazingly well to an earlier bedtime and wake up time during the school year but snaps immediately back to his late to bed/late to rise self once he's on holidays.

Dd could hack late nights. Ds couldn't until he was 15 or so.

my 11 year old is up until about 11 most nights in the holiday, shes still up by 8ish. my son at that age would be up til 12 every night, holiday or not, and up by 6. everyone is different and needs different amounts of sleep. body clocks vary.

In this house 9:30 is late for an 11 year old!

While I can understand the thinking in "going with the flow" and getting a lie-in the following day, doesn't it make it harder to get them back into a more suitable routine once they are back at school if they've been staying up late all summer?

Term Time:

DD10 is in bed at 9pm (although usually closer to 9:15 - toilet, drink, forgot to brush my teeth, need you to sign this letter for school tomorrow, where's my PE kit?!?)
9:30/10 - lights out

DD12 is in her bedroom at 9pm (usually drawing/crafting)
9:45 into bed for reading
10:30 lights out (we've told her it's supposed to be 10:20, so that when we go in at 10:20 and say, "lights out time" and she begs for 10 more minutes, we can feel benevolent when we say "Ahhh, go on then!")

Summer Holidays:

They go to bed when they’re tired / they feel like it – unless DH and I want some time to ourselves (or if we’ve got an early start, or the next day is due to be particularly busy), in which case we’ll ask them to hangout in their rooms, where they can read, craft or use their ipads and we’ll do lights out around 11pm (although they may well be asleep by then if they’ve been lying in bed reading or watching Netflix).

Last night DD12 fell asleep around midnight and woke up around 9am. She went to her room to watch Netflix in bed about an hour ago (midnight) but is still awake now. I’ll pop in and ask her to switch to a book in about 10 mins (as she’s more likely to fall asleep reading than she is watching her ipad).

DD10 eventually fell asleep at 1:30am last night and woke up around 10am. She went to her room to read around 6 o’clock this evening and I found her asleep on her bed, book still in hand about 30 minutes later! We let her sleep till 8pm and she’s just headed off to bed about 10 minutes ago and will read until she falls asleep.

Their phones go on charge in the kitchen overnight (never in their rooms) and they’re not allowed to use them to contact anyone after 8pm – this is year-round.

I’d be surprised if we saw either of them before 9:30/10am tomorrow

My 12 year old is up all hours, I’m not bothered as long as she’s back in her routine at least a week before school starts.

bpirockin
"doesn't it make it harder to get them back into a more suitable routine once they are back at school".

Some children don't struggle with a change in routine. Mine used to need three days, maximum, to completely change their sleeping pattern.

Two of them, now as Adults, work varying shift patterns, which they prefer to set hours.

The word, "should", has been used a lot on this thread, when there's no such thing as should, on this issue.

Our dds are in bed around 10 during summer holidays (7-12yo). They are in their rooms by 8:30-9 during school term (falling asleep st different times.

The are waking up later though.

All phones/devices downstairs overnight,l. Dd12 is the only one to have a phone, her friends chatter throughout the night, I find that really worrying....

My 11 year old watches movies downstairs untill 10am then can watch netflux in his room untill 12 during tne summer. Altho he usually falls asleep by 11 ish. Soon gets back into routine for school. Dosent have a phone so no idea what time his friends go to sleep.

@Fruitteatime genuinely interested that if it's hard to get back into routine why is it worth it?

Also don't those that rise early amuse themselves? If we want to sleep in then my 2 play together, read watch telly and don't disturb us, I don't need to let them have a late night for that to happen! Like others have said mine wake around 7/730 regardless of time in bed the night before.

About 10 usually here. 10 is still an early riser, so every few days he gets a bit tired and will take himself off for an early night.

sob how in the name of God do you get kids to sleep later??? I heard my 10 year old get up an hour ago..... the 8 year old was up at 7. Even 7.30 sounds like bliss right now. 9pm/8pm for the 10 and 8 year olds bedtime.
And no, later to bed still results in a pre 7am start. Stick with it for a week, and we just have a grumpy child waking early, and falling asleep in the car.

I foolishly relaxed the rules on not having phones in bedrooms for the holidays. Three days in I found dd2 (just 12) in the kitchen on her phone to someone in her class at 3am.
Phones very swiftly out of rooms again! (I also took dd1's much to her enormous dramatic rage-she is 13).

They are in my bedside drawer and were dinging and pinging well
Past midnight last night when I came to bed and turned them off.

I wish bloody social media hadn't been invented some times. Except social media I'm on obvs .

Rainorsun same here.

We don't have TVs / laptops in our bedrooms.

Well, I have to say-rather you than me with the early starts!

I don't get up with him in the mornings - he's 11! He gets up by himself.

I don't like to sleep beyond around 8am anyway, I've just woke up, ds has already been up and downstairs for a while.

Abound say in the holidays I don't care what time they go to sleep unless we have to be up early the next day, so they can stay his dn read, or watch stuff on their laptop, or chat (quietly) to each other.

The 3am is cinder was the day before I had a big exam myself and I was furious!

Term time bed time is 10 for both.
Phones off at 9.30-which is still probably a bit too late really.

We let DS11 stay up til we go to bed, usually 10am week nights 11ish weekends.

Last week he snuck his phone in his bedroom and stayed up whatsapping his friends til 1am, we discovered it after 3 nights..... it explained why he was a grumpy little so and so even though he was sleeping in til gone 11am totally messed with his sleep pattern.

YANBU, anything past 11/12 is far too late!

11yo DD1 is never asleep before 11.30, school night or no. She's never been a good sleeper. She's been awake about an hour now, occasionally she sleeps in but mostly she's awake earlyish.

My mum used to consider 8am a lie in when I was that age. We usually had to be up for 7:30 so it was up to us if we chose to stay up late and be shattered the next day.

They're likely having a sleepover, OP.
My 9 year old was up until 2am last night! I was actually in shock because I don't ever recall her being up at 2am (apart from when she was an infant, nursing non-stop). But I was hosting a sleepover for 3. Still, I was really surprised to go and check on them only to find them still up and chatting.

But yes, 9/10pm here as well, which is late enough for our 9 year old.
17 year old is up watching films until midnight. He's asleep around 11-12.
My 5 year old is in bed by 7:30-8 tops, even during summer holidays.