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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to complain to the theatre

144 replies

JackieLou · 01/08/2019 12:05

Last week I took my almost two year old son to see a stage version of a popular tv show.
The tickets cost over £40 and the show was less than an hour long.
Add on train travel, refreshments etc and it was a pricey morning out.
Once inside the theatre there was a stall positioned slightly to the side of the entrance selling extortionately priced themed tat- flashing wands, sticker books etc
I managed to avoid my son noticing this as it was out of our direct walking path and we found our seats and enjoyed watching the show.
When we came out of the theatre, two members of staff were stood in the middle of the doorway, with show themed helium balloons - you couldn’t avoid them and they had no price visible.
As we approached, I asked and The balloons were £8 each!!
Eight quid for a balloon!
£8!!!!!
Son obviously wanted one, I couldn’t afford it - or justify it even if I could!
He is one - he cried, I felt bloody awful and it added a real amount mum guilt on to an already expensive day ! Especially when so many other parents had purchased them.
AIBU to complain to the theatre that the staff should not have been stood where they were? Or at the very least have a sign saying how much!
Son is my first child so I’m new to the expense of days out!
The pressure sale approach seems unfair on parents who have already paid so much for tickets!

OP posts:
Pippa12 · 01/08/2019 12:08

YA definitely NBU but that is standard tbh. Everything costs a fortune- especially with two. I utilise Tesco clubcard boost and groupon for days our whenever possible. Theatre is particularly expensive.

MissMooMoo · 01/08/2019 12:10

Was it ITNG? I was absolutely shocked at the price of the foil balloons too.

Ragwort · 01/08/2019 12:10

You need to toughen up, the theatre is a commercial business, of course they are going to try and make money.

Learn to say ‘no’ to your child, parents who give in to every whim that their child wants are going to raise spoiled brats. My DS soon learned that I didn’t buy sweets/drinks/ice creams/fast food/souvenir tat etc on ‘days out’. We took our own drinks and picnics. The treat is the ‘day out’ not all the expensive and unnecessary extras that these places will try and sell you.

notacooldad · 01/08/2019 12:12

No I dont think theatre were being UR. They are trying to make money.
I do think you are bit daft taking a one year old to the theatre with all that expense. I didn't do that until they were a few years older.
At that age he would soon forget about wands, balloons ( and expensive trips out)

Original poster
JackieLou · 01/08/2019 12:14

@MissMooMoo yes it was!!

OP posts:
Gizlotsmum · 01/08/2019 12:14

Unfortunately pretty usual for any children's day out. You either budget for them as part of the expense or get over the mum guilt. The theatre will make their money fro. The sales of those extras but it is hard.

Cocobean30 · 01/08/2019 12:16

This is to expected at a theatre for any event, child or adult.

HotChocolateLover · 01/08/2019 12:19

Saying no is always horrible but it does get easier. We’re taking two of our three to the Harry Potter studios next week (the oldest didn’t want to come) We have told them that the tickets were very expensive plus a full tank of petrol to get there. we have budgeted for butter beer if they want to try it (I didn’t like it last time) but have said that we won’t be buying wands/over priced shite in the gift shop. We told them to save pocket money if they want to go in there for a mooch about. It’s about managing expectations and you get better at it.

Original poster
JackieLou · 01/08/2019 12:20

The show was appropriate for his age and he loved it. I just felt annoyed at being put in that position by a place that already had almost £50 from me for tickets, hundreds of pounds from families with two parents, multiple kids etc!
I fully appreciate they should be able to sell these items - but shoving them in your direct path seems unfair.
They sell on the basis you don’t want to say no - like rose sellers at restaurants ha!
I did say no to my son - it just doesn’t change how that made me feel

OP posts:
ElizaPancakes · 01/08/2019 12:20

Sorry YABU. You need to curb this ‘guilt’ you feel - sure it would be nice to be able to spend limitless money on crap your kid cries for, but it’s nothing to feel upset or guilty about.

The theatre are trying to get as much money out of you, they’re not going to agree to hide their crap sellers round a corner so you can manage your feelings better.

I don’t mean this to sound harsh but it really bothers me that so many mothers feel like if their child cries they’re doing something wrong or doing them a disservice.

IsobelRae23 · 01/08/2019 12:23

Reality is a 1 year old will have got nothing from that, and would be more suited to a three year old who had a better understanding. No way in the world would I have spent that amount of money for a baby.

For what it’s worth- everywhere you go with children, will be expensive. Gift shops that you have to go through to leave the premises etc. Where even a pencil will be £2.50- the cheapest thing in the shop. But of course dc will want the long cuddly snake at £45.00 and then the tears start.

This is where you learn to and practice saying no. No, no, no, no, no. It’s hard, especially when you will have parents around you buying everything for their dc. But that’s life. Dc need to learn they a) can’t have everything and b) life isn’t fair (that’s my come back to dc when they say ‘it’s not fair’).

Veterinari · 01/08/2019 12:23

@Ragwort
Did you actually read the OP? She did say no.. insinuating that OP is raising a spoiled brat is unkind and utterly irrelevant to the question she actually asked. I assume you’re just looking for an excuse to be unpleasant to someone who is already feeling down... Hmm

ShatnersWig · 01/08/2019 12:24

by a place that already had almost £50 from me for tickets, hundreds of pounds from families with two parents, multiple kids etc!

You do realise the theatre will only get £10 of that almost £50, don't you? The production company staging the show gets the majority of the ticket price. So the theatre has to get money from other sources - such as bar prices, ice creams and merchandising.

It's the same reason cinemas charge so much for sweets. On your £12 ticket, the cinema will only be keeping around £1.50. It's the reason sweets and drinks on garage forecourts are more expensive than elsewhere, because the garage only gets a couple of pence per litre of fuel.

iklboo · 01/08/2019 12:24

Sorry but you're going to have years of this - your DS wanting something then crying or having a tantrum when you say no. Try to stop feeling guilty about it.

ilovesooty · 01/08/2019 12:26

Sorry but it's a commercial enterprise so of course they are going to maximise their sales potential.

Shoxfordian · 01/08/2019 12:27

Yabu and you're going to have to get used to be ok to saying no to your so ,there's plenty of things I'd like to buy but can't afford so can't have it, that's how the world works. Don't make a complaint, you'll just look even more ridiculous

Loveislandaddict · 01/08/2019 12:28

Apart from the member of staff standing in the middle of the walkway, then they haven’t done anything wrong.

At any children’s activity, be it theatre, theme park, zoo etc there will be over-priced tat for sale.

Learn to say No.

lmusic87 · 01/08/2019 12:29

I don't think YABU, it would annoy me as well.

Ragwort · 01/08/2019 12:29

Yes I did read that the OP had said no, I meant in a general way about toughening up and not feeling guilty about saying ‘no’ because every single outing with a child can become about ‘pester power’. Apologies if it came over harsher that I meant.

HoppingPavlova · 01/08/2019 12:29

I guess you have not all the encountered places where you must exit through the gift shop where all the kids stuff is lining the path to the exit door? We have this with zoo, aquarium, any place you go really. It’s standard so you just need to brace yourself for the inevitable tantrum in the early years.

WorraLiberty · 01/08/2019 12:30

I agree with others, OP.

I'm afraid you're going to have to get used to saying no and your DC is going to have to get used to accepting it.

It's tough but it's something we all have to learn.

Zazazube · 01/08/2019 12:32

Yes of course you can complain if it makes you feel better. But it’s not going to change anything. They’re a business and doing what they need to do to keep things going. Whether you choose to spend your money on merchandise/food/drink there is entirely your decision. It’s not like they’re scamming you. Your child being upset because he can’t have a balloon is the same as if he spots something that belongs to someone else that he can’t have. You have potentially years of this to deal with so best nip it in the bud now!

WorraLiberty · 01/08/2019 12:32

Oh God yes Hopping, I'd forgotten about all the exits through the gift shops.

Even theme park rides where you have to exit through a kiosk selling photos of people on said ride.

Original poster
JackieLou · 01/08/2019 12:36

I did say no and obviously it’s not scarred him for life!
I understand they will want to sell merch
The stand was slightly out the way, so adults could see it but it wasn’t in the direct eye line for children.
However The balloon sellers blocked the exit!
The cost was extortionate and I feel they purposely didn’t have a price on them.
I love the theatre - happy to pay hundreds for a night out at a local show or west end.
I want my son to experience it early on and the show was perfect for age - he was the intended audience.
I have no real issue with the ticket cost —as expensive as it was.
My issue was the pressure sale approach of a balloon!
Another side thought - surely if they were £4 they would sell twice as many?!
I know I’ve got all this to come when we go to theme parks etc and I will toughen up on the mum guilt - just not nice when he was hardly asking for the world, he’s one and wanted a balloon!

OP posts:
notacooldad · 01/08/2019 12:37

I seriously don't get 'mum guilt' over saying no to something and never have done.
You are going to have to toughen up quick otherwise you will be having s break down by the time he is going to school.
Save the guilt for things that matter.
A child has to learn they can't have everything they want but when they do get something it's a nice treat for them.
I bet he cant even remember a balloon but not buying one is not going to harm him.
The sellers are only doing their job. There's nothing to complain about.