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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to complain to the theatre

144 replies

JackieLou · 01/08/2019 12:05

Last week I took my almost two year old son to see a stage version of a popular tv show.
The tickets cost over £40 and the show was less than an hour long.
Add on train travel, refreshments etc and it was a pricey morning out.
Once inside the theatre there was a stall positioned slightly to the side of the entrance selling extortionately priced themed tat- flashing wands, sticker books etc
I managed to avoid my son noticing this as it was out of our direct walking path and we found our seats and enjoyed watching the show.
When we came out of the theatre, two members of staff were stood in the middle of the doorway, with show themed helium balloons - you couldn’t avoid them and they had no price visible.
As we approached, I asked and The balloons were £8 each!!
Eight quid for a balloon!
£8!!!!!
Son obviously wanted one, I couldn’t afford it - or justify it even if I could!
He is one - he cried, I felt bloody awful and it added a real amount mum guilt on to an already expensive day ! Especially when so many other parents had purchased them.
AIBU to complain to the theatre that the staff should not have been stood where they were? Or at the very least have a sign saying how much!
Son is my first child so I’m new to the expense of days out!
The pressure sale approach seems unfair on parents who have already paid so much for tickets!

OP posts:
Nomoremilk · 01/08/2019 14:01

Defo in the night garden. It was way too long and a bit boring this year. I spent on books but couldn't justify the balloons!

Champagne791 · 01/08/2019 14:05

Unfortunately businesses love to rip parents with young children off, I’ve learnt that the only way to get round it is to really distract DD, okay we will get a balloon, but I really need the toilet first we will come back, then keep distracting, shall we ring X and tell them about the show.

justasking111 · 01/08/2019 14:09

Balloon or McDonalds. Oh mummy has ordered the balloon to be sent directly to the house by post.

It is annoyingly expensive at the theatre sometimes.

ShatnersWig · 01/08/2019 14:13

Look at your local arts council subsidised theatre and you will find it much less commercial and rip-off

Not necessarily. Many theatres receive no subsidy from either the Arts Council or even their borough or city council. For those, that 20% on merchandising or the expensive bottle of water or sweets you complain about (not you personally) is the thing that helps keep them open.

Buyitinbamboo · 01/08/2019 14:15

I have a 3 year old and a bright and breezy "oh mummy doesn't have enough money for that, lets go over there" seems to do the trick. No need to feel guilty about it just talk to them about how fun the show was to watch and how lucky they are to have seen iggle piggle etc

I grew up with 2 very spoilt half sisters though so maybe I find it easier to not feel guilty as I've seen what the opposite can do

1forAll74 · 01/08/2019 14:24

All these things are to make money these days,and people know that it is easy to sell tat to parents with small children,as the children may get upset if they can't have things, so people give in.. But saying no is the thing to do,despite an upset child,they will have to learn that they can't have everything, and the upset will soon disappear after a short while.

MuddlingMackem · 01/08/2019 14:26

YANBU to be annoyed about the balloons, and YADNBU to get used to saying no.

We've given our children pocket money from very young, so that on occasions like this they could decide whether or not it was worth their own money. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't, but once the money's gone, 'Oh, that's a shame you don't have the money for it'. Grin

ItsJustASimpleLine · 01/08/2019 14:28

We bought a light up wand at Disney on ice about 4 years ago. We take it with us anywhere they sell light up wands and DD is happy and saves money. The batteries were replaceable so it was an investment. Saves buying the limited life ones sold at illuminations and firework displays.

It's hard when they get upset but you need to stand firm.

Sandsnake · 01/08/2019 14:30

Yeah, I agree it’s frustrating. I used to work in a theatre in the holidays and would cringe when parents asked how much programmes / souvenirs were! I also think that the environmental situation we’re in means that marketing plastic stuff to children that they don’t need really isn’t on.

I’ve always dealt with it by very breezily moving past stuff like that, without acknowledging it at all. If DS asks about it then I just say a very bright and breezy no, without explanation (as if it goes without saying that we wouldn’t be getting it). He now completely accepts it. I realise that this sounds a bit smug, it’s really not meant to be (there’s loads of stuff he’s a complete arse about!).

Comefromaway · 01/08/2019 14:33

It also wouldn't have been the theatre themselves selling the merchandise (although there FOH staff may have been employed to) it would have been brought by the visiting company.

CustardySergeant · 01/08/2019 14:34

"You haven't asked for this opinion, but I think you're bonkers taking a less than 20 year old and spending that level of money . Sorry. But it's not as if he'll remember it."

Grin That was a typo wasn't it IAskTooManyQuestions?

Lilyannarose · 01/08/2019 14:36

I totally agree with you OP.
Yes, I understand they have to make their money by selling over priced merchandise, but they don't need to be quite so IN YOUR FACE about it.

Sindragosan · 01/08/2019 14:39

We took PFB to in the night garden in the big inflatable, and it was lovely to see the little faces light up at igglepiggle, but it is an expensive outing. I'm sure we still have hand puppets or other tat knocking about from it, wouldn't pay for a balloon that will deflate in a few days.

Child doesn't remember a thing about the visit, but did have fun at the time.

NKFell · 01/08/2019 14:41

I went to see Bing the theatre show and had the same carry on.

I understand they want to make money etc. but I think targetting sales at pre-schoolers is wrong.

Lilyannarose · 01/08/2019 14:46

I remember taking my then 3 year old DD to a Cbeebies show at the theatre. I thought she'd love it as it featured her favourite characters.
The presenter walked on stage, and my daughter just opened her mouth and SCREAMED!! I don't know if it was the shock of seeing the person she usually sees on the tele every day in a different setting.
There was no consoling her, so I just picked her up and ran for the nearest exit!!
Needless to say we didn't go back in!
The theatre staff were looking at me a little awkwardly, obviously waiting for me to ask for a refund (I knew there was no chance) so I didn't say a word. Just walked straight out and learnt from the experience.

Joerev · 01/08/2019 14:49

We went to the theatre. 3 tickets cost £475. It’s expensive business.

Just say no? Kids learn. My children know that they can’t and won’t have expensive overpriced crap and if they do. They buy it themselves.

You can’t complain because your child didn’t get a foil balloon..which is extortionate!

Businesses do this for that exact reason. They hope people will pay because they can’t say no to their child

It works as you saw

Be proud you didn’t cave in. I would be!

Chochito · 01/08/2019 14:51

OP was NBU but neither was the theatre. It's a tricky one.

The theatre is trying to make money and, I believe, (it's not something I know much about, just from news articles, etc.) that even with 40 pound tickets, the theatre needs to sell a lot of snacks and tat in order to keep these productions going.

When ours were little and we went out to something like that I would have a treat for them in my bag from the pound shop which I'd hand over just as I saw the tantrum coming for the extortionately priced balloon, etc. But OP you are NBU, it is impossible when they are so little.

When they're older, you can reason with them and explain what money can buy. We went to a theme park last month with cousins and gave each child 5 pounds to spend on whatever they chose or to keep and spend another day if they preferred. We had packed lunches and drinks so the money was literally just for tat. But it's much harder with an almost 2 year old. Next time at least you could anticipate it and try to distract him...

Joerev · 01/08/2019 14:51

Also. Your son won’t remember the expensive tat....however he will remember the memories you make.
We went and saw shrek. My daughters literally thought it was magical. They loved it. Loved loved it. We didn’t buy a thing and they still go on about it.

Your son won’t remember you not buying him a balloon that would be binned in a few days

We don’t even buy people material things for Xmas. We give ‘memories’ so days out etc. My kids love it.

ShatnersWig · 01/08/2019 14:56

We went to the theatre. 3 tickets cost £475

What on earth did you see????? You must have chosen to sit in the ridiculous VIP seats in the West End or you were in very expensive seats at the Royal Opera House. That's far from standard pricing.

JustTwoMoreSecs · 01/08/2019 14:58

YABU, this is how marketing works!

Gift shops you have to go through when exiting museums / attractions, ice cream van next to the playground, candy at child eye level at the supermarket checkout...
What is the difference?

BarbariansMum · 01/08/2019 15:01

YABU saying no to things is a normal part of parenting. "No mummy doesn't have the pennies for that today" was my stock phrase. They do come to accept it very quickly.

BlackCatSleeping · 01/08/2019 15:06

We went to the theatre. 3 tickets cost £475

Yeah, that's crazily expensive!!

We usually do one show a year. Something like Disney on Ice or Cirque du Soleil.

I'd love to say that my kids don't mind not buying something, but they do like to get something, but they know it's just one thing per kid, so they can choose either a ballon or popcorn or an ice cream or a light-up wand or something. They do find it's part of the experience.

I think as it's the OP's first time, it's probably a huge shock.

Also, we live in a city, so we just go to local shows. We have to pay parking but it's a lot cheaper than train tickets for everyone.

Evilmorty · 01/08/2019 15:07

Ive got a while family of 5 in to Twirly Woos live for £36 in total. And we won’t be buying balloons in there because I don’t spend money on that crap and that’s the end of it. With older children you can say - the trio is your treat, don’t be bugging me for extras. It’s all about preempting it and knowing what price you’ll go to. We went to a local theatre which did a puppet show until mine were at least 3 because you only paid for adults.

Purpleartichoke · 01/08/2019 15:19

I agree with you OP. The prices and sales techniques are ridiculous. The catch is that they are also ubiquitous. You won’t get anywhere complaining to the theatre. You are better off saving your energy for a different battle because you won’t win this one.

Fae1989 · 01/08/2019 15:20

Sadly most places will try and make money and I doubt there’s much point in complaining. It’s not like they’ve done anything wrong other than try to sell you a product.

I suppose kids do get upset when they can’t always have what they want but ultimately saying no if you can’t afford it or don’t think it’s worth it will teach them something in the long run. What a nice treat it was that you took them to the theatre. I guess when they’re very small as well they don’t really understand why you’re saying no, but you aren’t going to cause any damage in saying no.

It doesn’t mean it’s right for any place to force products down your throat but a lot of places are sadly the same, it’s the world we live in today!

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