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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Talk me down: finding a cool professional response to CF at work

40 replies

Waytooearly · 01/08/2019 07:18

I volunteer sometimes in a professional capacity. I do it because I want to and I enjoy it, and I do it under the auspices of "Way from X firm" as it also increases visibility for my firm.

I volunteered a couple of months ago on a Sunday at a community centre, everyone was happy, it went well. The organisers asked me t come back in July, saying it would likely be such-and-such date.

I emailed mid-July, saying, "So we still on for x date? What time?" I didn't hear back so left it.

Last night I got woken up at 10:30 by a text from one of the organisers. She aogised for the misunderstanding and told me that the next session would be x Sunday in August and that she'd tell families I'd be there.

And as part of background she forwarded a screenshot of earlier text exchange wherein some of the organisers were asking where I'd been in July, one of the texts said, "Well I'd thought she would've remembered". Wow.

I haven't responded. I am honestly thinking to just text back a cool, "Not available thanks". But at the same time this s a good link for me and my firm to have, and I don't want to be seen publicly as throwing toys out of pram. But at the same time their CF needs to be nipped in the bud.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 01/08/2019 07:21

And as part of background she forwarded a screenshot of earlier text exchange wherein some of the organisers were asking where I'd been in July, one of the texts said, "Well I'd thought she would've remembered". Wow.

Why on earth did she forward you that?? Did she mean to? What sort of point was she making?

idontknowwhattosay · 01/08/2019 07:23

Sorry im confused. Was there an event in July that they think you missed?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 01/08/2019 07:23

I might ask whether she’s corrected the person who was critical of you and say you’ll check your diary.

Mumminmum · 01/08/2019 07:25

Explain you didn't get a response to your email and that if you need to come in they need to tell you as you are not privy to their daily communications.

Mumminmum · 01/08/2019 07:26

IMHO it was extremely rude of her to send you the screen shot. I might consider volunteering somewhere else where they are more mature.

Oldraver · 01/08/2019 07:28

Tell them you made yourself available for the July date as per previous agreement but had no response to your email. Whether you make yourself available for August is up to you ( I would be too busy)

If she ent this text exchange to you it's likely she will include others in this

Cliques · 01/08/2019 07:28

“Since no one responded to my email in July asking about the date, I had assumed that you no longer needed me to volunteer in my professional capacity, or that the event had been cancelled. It is appropriate to confirm times and dates with me if you want me to attend. I shall check my calendar for August, do not advertise that I will be present until I have let you know if I am free or not.”

Something like that? Gives you time to cool off and them a chance to apologise

MakeItRain · 01/08/2019 07:28

That would really annoy me. I would be tempted to resend your email they didn't respond to, and include in your new message the screenshot. Add a message along the lines of you're happy to volunteer but you need a better means of communication as it's clear from last time that the organisers hadn't received your email and had assumed you'd forgotten, which wasn't the case. Ask if there's a better email address to send to to avoid this situation again. Keep it all very polite and jolly and see what they say.

Really I suppose in the long run it might be better just to put it behind you, but it would probably annoy me too much to be able to do that!

AChickenCalledDaal · 01/08/2019 07:30

Honestly, I would just confirm the arrangement for August and make a mental note that they have communication problems. So next time you don't get a response you need to follow up, not just leave it. If you flounce now, they will think you are unreliable and you won't have the chance to correct them. When you are there, you can make sure other people realise what happened in July.

rosesinmygarden · 01/08/2019 07:33

Do you think she meant to include the text exchange for you to see?

"Lovely to hear from you, thank you for yiur message. I can see from the text exchange youvr included in your message that I seem to have missed the event in July. I'm a little confused as I emailed X on X date and had no reply so had to assume it was no longer happening! Just to clarify, I didn't 'forget' and wouldn't want to be thought of as unreliable by X or anyone else. I'm afraid I'm not available on X date in August but would be happy to volunteer in the future if X can give me details in good time so I can confirm. Best wishes, ....."

And copy in any other contacts at the organisation.

ZenNudist · 01/08/2019 07:39

Hello

Will check my diary and get back to you for August.

I note the comments below re my absence from the last event. Please do let your colleagues know that I was informed of a different date and that I contacted you prior to the date but received no response.

As I am volunteering in a professional capacity, I hope you will appreciate that I would not want to cause any negative publicity by an apparent failure to meet my commitments. Particularly when I did offer to attend and was overlooked.

Please could you copy me in when you communicate this to your colleagues. I thought it better to go via you rather than email directly to correct any misunderstanding.

Thanks

Kind regards

Unburnished · 01/08/2019 07:41

Send the group your text exchange with her, illustrating the lack of response from the CF.

User12879923378 · 01/08/2019 07:46

I think you're overreacting a bit, but you could say something like "i wouldn't want anyone to think that I didn't bother to turn up, as they obviously do going by your screenshot. Please explain to your colleagues if you haven't already that I didn't come in July because I wasn't given a definite date or time and my email asking for confirmation wasn't answered."

Waytooearly · 01/08/2019 07:48

Oh and to clarify : I didn't have phone numbers for any organisers until last night. My colleague passed my number to the organiser with my permission.

OP posts:
billybagpuss · 01/08/2019 07:53

Why did you not send a follow up email when you had no response to the first?

Emails sometimes get deleted by mistake or they could have opened it and forgotten.

Waytooearly · 01/08/2019 07:55

Because I'm normal.

I'm not going to chase someone down to do them a favour.

OP posts:
WhatchaMaCalllit · 01/08/2019 07:56

@Cliques and @rosesinmygarden have put together two equally suitable responses.

Whoever sent out that communication really shouldn't be in charge of dealing with the communications for the community centre.

If you felt like it you could ask what the process is for sending out communications ahead of events where volunteers are required or are needed? If they don't have one, you could recommend that they put one in place so that everyone who wants to volunteer in the future knows how they can sign up and know that they will be contacted in good time.

soccerbabe · 01/08/2019 08:00

honestly? if there's such a big reputational kudos to your firm in volunteering, I'd be inclined to grit my teeth and ignore the screenshot, and acccept that their admin is a bit flakey. If you really can't, I'ld go for a supernice response, along the lines of rosesinthegarden.

MosquitoInAJamJar · 01/08/2019 08:01

I'd use clique's reply in fact, I have used this wording in the past which elicited an apologetic response to being messed around.

Can you send someone else instead OP?

Milkywayfan · 01/08/2019 08:02

I would make them know they hadn’t told you but would do it in a nice way. They shouldn’t have been rude about you not turning up or shared it with you. But community centres even if great at what they do working with people can also sometimes have the odd rubbish / thoughtless / not organised person on staff Smile). Give them one more chance if they do good work - but do let them know about the comms mistake so they have a chance to fix it

Babdoc · 01/08/2019 08:04

Before going in with all guns blazing, have you checked your spam folder for a reply to your July email?!

YoTheGinPussy · 01/08/2019 08:06

I would find out who is in charge of the community centre and forward the screenshots and email exchange to them and ask for their comments. Make your decision on whether to continue based on the response received.

onanothertrain · 01/08/2019 08:08

I think you are overreacting however if you are going to respond you need to decide whether you are volunteering in a professional capacity to benefit your firm or whether you are just doing them a favour. If it's the first I agree you should have sent a follow up email. If it's the second one of the professional suggested responses above will be fine.

Waytooearly · 01/08/2019 08:16

Okay guys, I responded to text saying I'd tried to confirm but hadn't heard, and I said, "Glad we're in touch directly now!" I said I wasn't sure about date in August but I would shift things and let her know.

OP posts:
Juells · 01/08/2019 08:21

Just to clarify, I didn't 'forget' and wouldn't want to be thought of as unreliable by X or anyone else.

I'd not say that, it's a bit grovelling when you're doing them a favour and they've messed you around. X is unreliable, not you.