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AIBU?

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Original poster

Birthday buns, or no birthday buns... that is the question

36 replies

cjt110 · 31/07/2019 16:02

DS is having a party next weekend for his 5th birthday at a playgym. 11.30-1.30 with food provided.

I have done sweetie cones as opposed to party bags because 1. it's cheaper for us to do and 2. I'm sure parents will appreciate not having hoards of plastic shit being brought home.

I intend to get a birthday cake for DS. Said cake would be for candle blowing and to be enjoyed the following day at our family gathering.

A few Qs... would you do the above and have a "photograph" cake or just get a completely different cake?

As the kids have sweetie cones which are packed with sweets, should we also still provide a bun/slice of cake to go home with?

I've been to parties that have sliced and given out the birthday cake, parties where there was a cake for photograph only and the kids were given buns and also a party where there was a cake and only sweetie cones were given out.

Any advice is appreciate as I don't want to commit a party faux pas!

OP posts:
RhodaDendron · 31/07/2019 16:07

Do what suits you! Last few parties I’ve been to, everyone has eaten cake there and then and not brought any home so I wouldn’t worry about that part. I’d be tempted to get one cake for the party and one for home if you can manage it, just to keep things simple, but one massive one would probably work too!
If anyone is offended by whatever you choose to do about cake.... they need something bigger to worry about.

Original poster
cjt110 · 31/07/2019 16:08

There's is a cold buffet with a variety of savoury bits and bobs and also little cakes for the kids like muffins and biscuits etc.

OP posts:
MyCatHatesEverybody · 31/07/2019 16:09

I don't like the idea that the party guests are merely stage extras for your photo moment with the cake. At least get a cheap cake for the party that you can hand out to the kids and take photos of the posh cake at your family gathering.

ItStartedWithAKiss241 · 31/07/2019 16:11

My kids all love cake and would be outraged at no cake 😬😂

BeFire · 31/07/2019 16:12

If my DS had seen a cake and sung happy birthday to his friend he'd be looking forward to his slice.
Get 2 cakes. I can't imagine just using one for the photos Shock

Original poster
cjt110 · 31/07/2019 16:13

@MyCatHatesEverybody fair point. I do remmeber thinking at one party when the mum was saying "The cake is for candle purposes only!" god, get a grip or don't bring the cake! Perhaps I should go with my gut on that one

I've shown DS 3 cakes... 2 Aldi £3.99 jobs (Madeira or chocolate) and one from the local bakery with loads of sweets piled on top... guess which he picked Confused

Im thinking maybe get the Aldi one for the party and the other for the gathering.

OP posts:
SexFarmWoman · 31/07/2019 16:13

I wouldn't be bothered, the cake wrapped in a napkin always got thrown away with mine- none of us particularly like it.

user1480880826 · 31/07/2019 16:13

Weird to have a cake at a party that isn’t cut up and served. Surely everyone will wonder where the cake has disappeared to.

Can’t you just make one cake for the party and one for the family event the following day?

Original poster
cjt110 · 31/07/2019 16:14

I feel a room full of 4/5 year olds revolting at no cake is too much to bare!

Will defo get one for the party and keep the sweetie one for his actual birthday.

OP posts:
Caramellow · 31/07/2019 16:15

Get two cakes. A supermarket one and use that for photos and slicing up for the children, then you can have photos with the special cake the next day. It seems so inhospitable to bring out a special cake for photos then put it away without allowing the guests any, as if you're saying it's too good for them.

Coolcoolcoolcoolcool · 31/07/2019 16:16

I think it's mean to let kids see the cake but not eat it and the parents too

Original poster
cjt110 · 31/07/2019 16:16

Can’t you just make one cake for the party and one for the family event the following day? If everyone ate rock cakes... sure! lol. I'm shit at baking.

Perhaps I can recce up a similar one with an aldi madeira cake and just shove a load of sweets on top?

OP posts:
Caramellow · 31/07/2019 16:16

Good plan OP. A supermarket cake is nice. You can get some lovely looking ones that aren't too expensive.

Coolcoolcoolcoolcool · 31/07/2019 16:18

Oh well seems like I was late with that reply Smile good decision op.

MyCatHatesEverybody · 31/07/2019 16:19

Buy an aldi choclate cake and a bag of sweets or chocolate buttons to scatter on top - job done.

Original poster
cjt110 · 31/07/2019 16:22

Cake 1 is the bakery one with oodles of E numbers on top.

Cakes 2 and 3 are the aldi ones. I thought perhaps the madeira one and loads of sweets lobbed on top. The cones are filled with swizzle type sweets

Birthday buns, or no birthday buns... that is the question
Birthday buns, or no birthday buns... that is the question
OP posts:
Atlasta · 31/07/2019 16:25

Definitely do up the Aldi one.
I think it's awful setting up a cake and getting all the kids to stand around it in awe singing Happy Birthday and then whisking it away.
Plus I'd want to keep the 'nice' cake spit-free at home for myself and familyGrin

Original poster
cjt110 · 31/07/2019 16:27

Thanks all. And thanks for not pulling me apart over the choices!

OP posts:
notso · 31/07/2019 16:30

In all my years of children's parties I've never understood the tradition of wrapping a millimetre of cake in a napkin to give to guests to take home.
Surely most people end up putting it in the bin because it gets squished and the napkin takes all the icing.

Serve the cake at the party!

Singlenotsingle · 31/07/2019 16:37

Two cakes! One for the party and one for the family do. SO MEAN just to show them the cake, photograph it and then take it away!

MyCatHatesEverybody · 31/07/2019 16:39

If I was a young child I'd be so disappointed to see that exciting bakery cake with all the sweets on top and not get any. Glad you're getting the Aldi one OP. I hope your DS enjoys his party!

saywhatwhatnow · 31/07/2019 16:49

I agree. Cheap character supermarket cake for party (slice and give to the kids there), and naice cake for family gathering!

clottedcreamoverjam · 31/07/2019 16:59

I intend to get a birthday cake for DS. Said cake would be for candle blowing and to be enjoyed the following day at our family gathering.
I really think whatever cake is used for candle blowing and singing needs to be shared.
I recently went to a party where they did the singing and candles and it was a nice cake and the children all were like this 😮😮😮😮🤤🤤🤤🤤
And we had to wait quite a bit to eat some as mum was taking pics and sad to cut it.
People were getting a bit 😒 because the children were asking and waiting.
Eventually it was served but people were telling stories about someone who did the picture thing and I can tell you nobody thought it was ok.

Bluewall · 31/07/2019 17:06

I always find it's hard to cut up a cake at the party as there is so much going on so either have someone assigned to cake cutting or have another cake pre cut or cupcakes ready to hand out/ put in party bags and then take the candle cake home for later :)

thethoughtfox · 31/07/2019 17:06

I don't think you can show children cake and not give them any cake. It doesn't need to be the same cake they saw earlier though.