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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Birthday buns, or no birthday buns... that is the question

36 replies

cjt110 · 31/07/2019 16:02

DS is having a party next weekend for his 5th birthday at a playgym. 11.30-1.30 with food provided.

I have done sweetie cones as opposed to party bags because 1. it's cheaper for us to do and 2. I'm sure parents will appreciate not having hoards of plastic shit being brought home.

I intend to get a birthday cake for DS. Said cake would be for candle blowing and to be enjoyed the following day at our family gathering.

A few Qs... would you do the above and have a "photograph" cake or just get a completely different cake?

As the kids have sweetie cones which are packed with sweets, should we also still provide a bun/slice of cake to go home with?

I've been to parties that have sliced and given out the birthday cake, parties where there was a cake for photograph only and the kids were given buns and also a party where there was a cake and only sweetie cones were given out.

Any advice is appreciate as I don't want to commit a party faux pas!

OP posts:

stucknoue · 31/07/2019 17:09

It seems very odd and quite mean not to serve the birthday cake/send it home. Just buy a cheap tray back, they sell 30 portion ones for £10

MyCatHatesEverybody · 31/07/2019 17:19

clottedcream sounds like the mum was trying to stall long enough for the kids to "forget" about the cake - glad that backfired!

lyralalala · 31/07/2019 17:33

Have a cake at the party. The kids will be looking forward to it once they see it

We went to one last week where the mum did cake and candles at the start of the party - all the kids got excited with the singing and cheering then when off to play, which gave the Mum time to cut up the cake and put it out with the buffet. I shall be pinching that idea as I hate trying to cut the cake up quickly

Plus it meant in the photos all the kids looked pristine as they hadn't been bouncing on trampolines yet and hadn't spilled blackcurrant or orange down their front.

bellabasset · 31/07/2019 17:41

When making cake for younger dcs I make individual ones, a slightly larger one for the birthday child with an age candle and put sparklers on the others. (need to ensure dcs don't take these off and they last while happy birthday is sung)

Then they each have their own cake. A good mix is the chocolate mix from the Bake off masterclass. I use one third for 12 cakes, make a chocolate icing with butter, milk, cocoa powder and icing sugar and then cover in sweets. Very moist cake mix, use cocoa powder from Lidl

TeenTimesTwo · 31/07/2019 17:46

You cannot blow out candles on one cake and give an entirely different cake to the children. That would be VVVVVU.

If you need another cake for home then buy two cakes or just get a larger one.

(I view it like inviting another child with you to Build-a-bear, and then buying your child a bear but nothing for the guest child.)

BeanBag7 · 31/07/2019 17:52

Buy a cheap aldi cake. Cut it before having the food and then serve it up as part of the buffet. That way people who dont want cake dont have to have any and you dont have to get party bags with sticky napkins for everyone.

clottedcreamoverjam · 31/07/2019 18:09

@MyCatHatesEverybody maybe!!!!!
She kept saying how sad she was to cut it and blah blah and party was ending at 4(started at 1) and we only got some at 3:45!

We were all struggling with the children!!!!

Caramellow · 31/07/2019 22:17

The Aldi Madeira cake looks perfect for the job. Especially if you add some extra sweets as you mentioned.

fargo123 · 02/08/2019 08:38

I went to more parties than I can remember as a child. Most of them have blended into one another over the years.

But one still stands out, over 40 years later, for all the wrong reasons. This was the one where the mother lit the candles, took some photos, we all sang "happy birthday", and she then refused to cut the cake as she wanted to 'save it'.

I can still recall all the other mums' just looking at each with WTF?! looks (it was near the end of the party when all the parents were coming to collect the kids). I can also still recall the look of on a bunch of seven year old faces. It kinda marked that family as the 'weird party poopers' after that.

clottedcreamoverjam · 02/08/2019 08:53

This.
What if people brought presents and took them home afterwards?🙄

Gardai · 02/08/2019 08:58

Yes @clottedcreamoverjam it’s like the kids are accessories for a photo opportunity (not you OP but the way things are going in insta world).
Important to remember it’s a party for the kids !

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