To not give him toast?

[Jellybeansincognito]

My 2.5 year olds eating habits are atrocious, he just seems to hate food, because of this I have to deal with his constant constipation (I have sachets to help with this, from the dr).

I feel like I’m at the end of my tether however, unless his meal consists of toast, pizza or pasta he just will not eat it. These issues have brought me to tears on several occasions because his constipation makes him scream in pain and what does come out is so acidic his bum bleeds. I’ve ever gone to the effort of making wholemeal pizza dough and hidden veg sauces.

I feel constantly stressed regards to his meals and I’ve had enough.
Today’s lunch was a sandwich, tomatoes, cucumber, grapes and a few orange segments of which were all squeezed to pieces and none of it was eaten.

It’s an hour later now and he’s whinging for toast, aibu saying no?

Anyone else been through this and can offer any advice?
No health professional seems concerned because his weight isn’t dropping.

Another one for daily Movicol here. Dr recommended. Keeps everything regular rather than waiting for a problem, got DD into a regular habit of going with no drama.

I would go back and see a different doctor regarding taking it daily as it could make all the difference. Lots of children take it daily mine Included

I think you sound like you are handling it brilliantly- fussy eaters are a source of massive anxiety and it is so hard to keep positive and offering things when you know they will just say no

As mine got older they were better at eating if they helped prepare stuff. I will always remember my eldest popping a raw mushroom in his mouth and eating it once when he was chopping some for his dads supper- it was the first time he had voluntarily tried anything of that ilk.

Some kids remain fussy and are adults with a limited repertoire- some get better with age.

You are doing all the right things- it’s not your fault.

Bowel impactions and increasing aversion to food were he first signs of allergies in my child... took nearly 2yrs to be diagnosed. If this could be an issue trying an elimination diet and monitoring weight really helped us get the paediatric referral my child needed.

BizzzzyBee Wed 31-Jul-19 17:20:03
Give the sachets every day, increase them until he’s going for a poo daily
This is terrible advice. Some people just naturally don’t need to go every day and forcing them to do so will make them ill. Not to mention that constantly overriding the body’s own signals and processes will negatively effect the person’s natural cycles and result in reliance on the medication. My own mother spent years drugging me with sachets until I grew old enough to tell her to get lost. I now operate very happily on a 3-4 day cycle and so does my DC. If I was going every day I’d class it as diarrhoea.

If the child is unwell and in pain that’s different, but please don’t medicate just to achieve some warped idea of what’s “normal”. Even the doctor has advised only to medicate when necessary as a last resort.

Her child IS unwell ("his constipation makes him scream in pain and what does come out is so acidic his bum bleeds. ")- seriously constipated and in pain doing poos. It's actually your advice that is misguided, based purely on your own experiences with your mother. A number of other posters here, myself included, have been advised by our GPs that it is fine to give Movicol daily if required. You know better than doctors?

Ok so one sachet a day is fine?
I’ll do this, I need to get him some more. 1 box doesn’t seem to last long for us.

Thank you for the input everyone, it’s so hard- I don’t think people realise until they’ve actually been there how hard it is. It’s easy to say oh do this and stop doing that but the reality is I’ve tried everything I possibly can 10 x round and it’s hard to keep trying when you hit a dead end after a lot of effort and money.

I’m going to try a few of the foods recommended again and see how we get on, on top of a daily movicol!

Can you do a few soft play lunches with his friends and serve fruit and yoghurt and raisins etc? Sometimes peer pressure helps and kids will just eat what their friends are all eating.

There is some very odd advice on this thread.

If you are on Facebook look for a group called Movicol Mummies (I know....dreadful name!) There is a video pinned at the top by 'the poo nurses' which gives very good advice about Movicol.

Did your go think there was impaction? Sometimes a clear out is needed to clear a blockage (the liquid poo leaks around the impacted poo in bits, hence the constant soiling). This is pretty full on and needs to be done properly to make sure the clear out is effective, then gradually work out a maintenance dose of Movicol.

Eric and Bowel and Bladder UK have good advice. Some gps are great with constipation....others not so great, so you could always ask to see another go and make sure you get really clear advice about a long term plan.

Wrt fussy eating - he probably feels reay uncomfortable eating, due to digestive issues, so try to be as laid back as possible about it. Keeping on with the hidden veggies etc and expanding his repertoire really gradually. Hang ups around food and toileting can be such a nightmare.

Is he ok otherwise? Any other health or development concerns ....Reflux? Allergies? Intolerance?

My son started eating lots of fruit and veg when I let him help me cut it up with a "big" knife. Lots of "I trust you with this. " Etc.etc. It was a butter knife but good for peaches, bananas, tomatoes, melon etc. Changed the dynamic from food on the plate that must be eaten to let's cut stuff up and we can nibble.
I also used to always have a plate of cut up fruit, veggies and dates on the table for my kids to help themselves when they were hungry. It's surprising how much went down when the focus wasn't on it.

Will he eat from your plate? DGS will refuse food from his plate, looking at you yellow peppers, but will happily eat the same food off mine.

My son was an extremely fussy eater (and yes, he would happily have starved himself, to the twat on the first page).
Firstly give him toast, and whatever else he will eat. Even if it's only 2 or 3 things).
Secondly, my son drank lots of milk, I gave him the full fat version, as much as he wanted. It probably saved his life.
Thirdly, he did like tomato ketchup, so I used lots of that, and I did get him to drink small amounts of fresh orange juice, the one with the pulpy bits in. The pulp helps with pooing, and the vitamin C in the juice helped with iron absorption in the tiny amounts of food he did eat.

Not RTFT but am a paediatrician and Mum of a very difficult toddler where food is concerned. I recommend using the Division of Responsibility approach and joining the Mealtime Hostage group on Facebook. The majority on there have much more severe issues - sensory processing disorders etc with food but the approach is one I definitely recommend. It takes the pressure off him and you.

I'll read rest of thread when I get a chance and write more then

Another one whose child has taken movicol and sodium picasulfate for the past 4 years. No ill effects and she is now 7.5. Ask GP if there is a continence clinic you can be referred to, there is one where I live and we have had so much support and advice from them.

Over time the food issues and toileting issues feed into each other and it becomes a kind of chicken and egg situation.

You may well find that if you get toileting under control regular opening of bowel with no discomfort then appetite might increase. We were told to get as many fluids as possible in whatever form, ice lollies, ice pops, anything they will have, and for us bananas were always kriptonite, she couldn't even eat a little without becoming completely bunged up.

It's so very hard when your child won't eat, or will only eat a very restricted diet. I have cried and wailed and beaten myself up over it for years, but the best thing that happened for us all was to just let it go, feed them what they will eat offer different foods with no pressure and over time a very long time in our case new foods will be tried. Hugs for you OP, I really do know how difficult this is.

Would he notice if you put some chia seeds in his food, they are very high in fibre.

Just be careful OP, a lot of the suggestions on here are extremely high in sugar.

He's not much more than a baby at 2.5 my dd isn't far behind, she is very bright and speech fantastic but she wouldn't understand being told that eating a wider range of food would help her to poo! It's a funny age I would suggest just going along with what he will eat, will he still drink milk or have yogurt etc? My dd is picky for breakfast and lunch but eats a good amount at her evening meal. I am not stressing about the overall amount of food because I know that it will come, I would keep offering a range of foods, make sure you eat together, let him try yours if he wants to.

Use wholemeal bread and wholemeal pasta. Only offer him what you are eating.
My son eats terrible for my mum as did I as a child cause she don't sit down and eat with him and he knows she will offer something else.
Stop stressing and turning food into a battle. If he don't eat he will be hungry big woop.
A kid doesn't starve of malnutrition over night despite what grandparents think lol

Aldi do some fruit bars called "that's it". 2 flavours: Apple and pear and banana and pear. Just cold pressed fruit.

Ok so high in fruit sugar and not as good as actual fruit but my fussy lot eat them.....

Totally hear you. My 2 year old boy used to eat everything. He loved broccoli, runner beans etc. Then one day he stopped eating them. He now only eats- plain rice, plain pasta with cheese, toast, Weetabix, rice Krispies and strawberries and melon. I am so frustrated too! I keep giving him the 'safe foods' plus adding one thing extra. Today it was rice, strawberries and sweetcorn (different sections) and he actually ate some sweetcorn! Could you maybe do something like this? My son is also constapated often and passes blood in his stools. He is on long term lactulose which is amazing! X

Wheat fibre is not the best. Oats are ok, will he eat a flapjack. Potato ok. Fruit better than juice. Plenty of fluid, water if he will take it. Nightmare.

Wholemeal toasted sandwiches perhaps? Purée veg into pasta sauce, it will pass

3-4 is a hell of a lot (that's 500ml of it) especially if it's coming out liquid. You need to get into a regular pattern and prevent the constipation rather than react to it. If it's taken regularly and consistently and the constipation is reduced it gives the bowel a chance to go back to its normal shape thus reducing constipation anyway.

Also make sure he doesn't drink water or any fluids directly after the Movicol. It works based on the dilution being accurate and if you prepare the solution - one sachet to 125ml water and then drink after it messes it up.

I'd start with one or two a day (one in the morning and one in the afternoon) on a regular basis and see if it improves.

The other things that can help, probably sounds really controversial but for me I wasn't eating anywhere near enough salt (I got through one small container of salt in about 5 years and didn't eat anything/much with salt on it). If there's barely any salt in the diet the body doesn't want to spare any so none is put in the poo, therefore it can't draw water out, therefore it is hard and painful. This may not be likely for a lot of people but it made a massive difference for me.

And adding in more fats - that made a massive difference.

Good luck, constipation is really horrible. A lot of people think it's just a bit of constipation but it really can affect people badly and be awful.

Fibre made it a lot worse for me.
Would he drink a milkshake with cream in it? Sometimes it's a matter of trial and error, but fortunately with some things, within a week you can know if it's making a difference or not. If something is 'traditional wisdom' or whatever and doesn't work for you just drop it. Everyone's bodies aren't the same and the causes aren't the same either. People respond to different things and the only way to know is what works for him, not what works for anyone else.

If he's passing liquid but not much else could he have an impacted bowel? Doesn't matter how much fibre and veg you feed him, if he's impacted it won't help.

My daughter is currently under paed nurses for similar and they are calling every 2 days to check in and adjust the movicol.

I know that doesn't help your original question but I thought it was important to mention

Do you have access to the poop clinic at your local hospital or could you review with a doctor that is a pediatrician? We went every few months to review but my son was on daily maintenance movicol from age 3 to 7 and we reduced it very gradually, ml by ml, so it could be that it might help to stabilise the dose.

Thanks guys! Im going to take a look at some of these things and see if we can make the situation better