To not give him toast?

[Jellybeansincognito]

My 2.5 year olds eating habits are atrocious, he just seems to hate food, because of this I have to deal with his constant constipation (I have sachets to help with this, from the dr).

I feel like I’m at the end of my tether however, unless his meal consists of toast, pizza or pasta he just will not eat it. These issues have brought me to tears on several occasions because his constipation makes him scream in pain and what does come out is so acidic his bum bleeds. I’ve ever gone to the effort of making wholemeal pizza dough and hidden veg sauces.

I feel constantly stressed regards to his meals and I’ve had enough.
Today’s lunch was a sandwich, tomatoes, cucumber, grapes and a few orange segments of which were all squeezed to pieces and none of it was eaten.

It’s an hour later now and he’s whinging for toast, aibu saying no?

Anyone else been through this and can offer any advice?
No health professional seems concerned because his weight isn’t dropping.

@FartnissEverbeans yeah the dr wasn’t concerned and just prescribed sachets to help when he needs it.

I've been there, got the t shirt, with 2 very fussy eaters. Both got constipated and needed medical intervention. Now young adults. One will eat anything, the other still has a few veggies she won't eat, but none of the usual run of the mill things. Take heart, it won't be forever.

Apart from what other people here have suggested, a thing that worked for me, perhaps when my 2 were a bit older than yours is now, but hold on to the idea to try later, was I would cook e.g. 2 types of vegetables and I would say you have to have one, you choose which one you want, but then you have to eat it. I bargained over quantities too: How much can you eat? No, 2 carrot pieces isn't enough, let's make It 2 (even if really you wanted them to eat 4). It doesn't sound like it would work, but I had success with it. I suppose you are giving them ownership of what is on the plate in front of them.

I would just like to say that some people do react very badly to an excess of fibre so it is worth keeping a food diary. I get terrible constipation and intestinal inflammation when I eat too many high fibre products such as bran flakes, wholemeal pasta, certain breads and worst of all flaxseeds that seem to turn to concrete in my intestines and once gave me a blockage.

I can only tolerate lactulose or fruits. My dd suffered from bad constipation as well and the best results were to mash or puree tinned pears or prunes and add to a smoothie or stir into porridge or yoghurt.

Should say 1 carrot piece isn't enough, let's make It 2.

Yeah! He’s gone for a nap now, but I can try when he wakes up.

That's good. He probably wasn't that hungry then, so maybe he did eat a bit of his lunch?

Go into another room and cry and ignore these posters who have no fucking clue what it’s like to deal with a child who yes, actually, will starve himself.
Hugs.

My little girl became constipated after breaking her leg/ reduced movement+ pain killers, and it led to her withholding poos because she didn't really understand this would make it worse, she just wanted to avoid having poos all together. Just in case I would recommend the book Poo Goes To pool and, it's free, by the NHS and you can download it to your phone.

I'd also recommend the book My Child Won't Eat for a gentle handhold through fussy eating, by a doctor, good information and kind philosophy

Oh poor baby. Just tell him there isn't any toast and offer something else. Children should only have 1 slice of bread a day. And buy lactalose (sugar syrup) from the pharmacy and give it to him on a daily basis.

Constipation can also be a result of not getting enough fluids. Since you've mentioned lots of ways you've tried to increase his fibre intake that don't seem to have helped, my instinct would be to try to increase his fluid intake.

I would also keep taking him back to the doctor. As others have mentioned, the constipation seems pretty severe, and could be caused by something other than his diet.

Children should only have 1 slice of bread a day.

According to who?

If he’s passing that much liquid it’s probably overflow. The ERIC website is a really good source of information regarding constipation. You can also phone them.

Advice I was given was:

Fun plates, with different sections. Dd has a car one from eBay that was about 1.99 with four sections on it.

Put a food in each section, nothing touching.

Small portions in each. Always give smaller portions, then if he asks for more he can have it.

Put a couple of things on there that he knows and likes and a couple of things on there that are new or previously vetoed. It does not matter if he doesn't eat them. If he only plays with them, that's progress. If he puts it in his mouth and spits it out, that's progress.

Try to make it fun, dippy egg, carrots and hummus (dd still won't eat either of these). Smiley face on porridge for example. Fun shapes for things can be good too - cookie cutters can help.

Don't make it a battleground. If he's not eating anything, then offer plain toast and butter.

For constipation, oranges or orange juice usually do the trick for dd.

Why wait until he is constipated and then give him 3-4 sachets? That sounds as if it’s causing overflow diarrhoea.

Much better, surely to give him a sachet each day, possibly 2 and continue to encourage healthy eating? Take all emotion out of meal times and keep offering tiny amounts of the healthy stuff along with the foods he will eat (with hidden extras where you can.)

There is a huge amount of information on feeding fussy toddlers but the first step has to be keeping emotions out of it. Making mealtime fun and very, very gradually introducing new foods.

He will get there.

Cereal? Yoghurt? Raisins? Loads of water.
He’ll eat when he’s starving hungry.

Also, roast veggies are yummy and sweet - parsnips, carrots, sweet potatoes with honey drizzled on or a little butter mmmmmm

I have to give my DS smoothie when he’s constipated - I found Lactulose took days to work.... milk of magnesia is good though.

Lots of tummy and thigh massages helps my son too.

Why wait until he is constipated and then give him 3-4 sachets? That sounds as if it’s causing overflow diarrhoea.

This is the point I was making. Give it everyday to keep him regular. You may only need one sachet. For it to work he needs to drink as well.

Mine at that age was very picky. Most of his food intake consisted of marmite-flavoured ricecakes. I despaired.

(Actually - have you tried marmite-flavoured ricecakes on yours?)

He grew out of it and will now eat almost anything, with a few exceptions. Hang in there - it will pass!

Have you tried fruit smoothies to try and get some fibre in him? Obviously don’t put bananas in them because that will bing him up.

When he has toast is it proper wholemeal bread? Some brown bread is actually made with white flour.

Also, wholemeal pasta and homemade pasta sauce with lots of toast veg and tomatoes blended.

Someone said about increasing his fluids- he’s drinking more than 2 litres of liquid some days, he really does drink an awful lot so that’s not an issue, discussed this with my dr also.

I’m following the drs advice and giving when needed because the sachets aren’t great to be given daily? (Movicol). I’m going to get some lactoluse from the chemist however- I always forget about that stuff, I can happily give that daily.

Someone’s mentioned making food fun- I’ve tried all types of plates and even cut food into shapes, it doesn’t make a difference unfortunately.

Thanks for the book recommendations- it’ll give it a go, but from the reviews it looks like parental blame and I’m really not showing any negativity to my son at all regards to this, I simply just take his plate when he’s finished and rage to myself quietly when alone about it. I try and give him at least something he likes every meal time- but he keeps changing this which I find frustrating more than anything else tbh.

Thanks for the support! It’s good to know I’m not alone in this!

Yeah I ensure it’s wholemeal bread and not just brown. He woke up and had toast and yoghurt.
Hidden veg sauce and pasta for him later!

I disagree that a 2 year old can't make the connection between what goes and what comes out. My then 2 yr old spent a week one summer eating sand from every pit she found. I explained not to, and she did anyway (this was unlike her at the time!)! Eventually she had painful sandy poo. I said it was because she kept eating sand. She stopped.
She's a fussy eater to. I still can't shake the feeling that my cooking was being insulted!

I think offering foods he doesn't like could put him off food and make him nervous about mealtimes, so if it is a sensory issue I'd just let him eat toast for now. Offer him toast (brown) and something he may eat, like a fruit. Does he drink enough? My kids eat very unhealthily sometimes but only get constipated if they don't drink enough.

My 5 year old suffered from constipation for years. I really sympathise with you as it's awful seeing them struggling. We changed DD's diet to make it as high fibre as possible, but nothing seemed to cure the constipation. Our doctor said that some kids are just like this (something to do with bowel development - sorry I forget exactly what he said) and diet isn't enough. DD's much better now, but we still rely on Lactulose to makes the faeces soft, and a laxative as well prescribed by the GP. It takes a while to work out the right dose for the Lactulose (too much and it's runny poo). Other things I tried (and yes I KNOW about teeth before anyone chimes in, but sometimes needs must and you have to prioritise one health thing over another):

fruit and vege smoothies (vege smoothies are palatable as long as you use apple or carrot as a base). I know your DS isn't keen, but thought I'd mention as worth trying every few months as they are fickle wee buggers. Frozen smoothies as lollies too.

Raisins and prunes (DD likes these. I know lots don't though).

porridge for breakfast or Weetabix or mini Shredded wheat with All Bran sprinkled on it.

Make muffins with bran. I make banana ones as she likes those and it's nice and sweet.

Flap jacks made with porridge oats and bran.

Dark chocolate (a good laxative. Coffee and dark choc works for me too!)

Pasta with tomato sauce (with vege blended to a pulp hidden in it)

Otherwise I think try tweaking everything you give them to make it as high fibre as possible.

But as I say, sometimes you have to rely on the lactulose longer term to help.

Lots of children take Movicol daily. Like mine.

Give the sachets every day, increase them until he’s going for a poo daily
This is terrible advice. Some people just naturally don’t need to go every day and forcing them to do so will make them ill. Not to mention that constantly overriding the body’s own signals and processes will negatively effect the person’s natural cycles and result in reliance on the medication. My own mother spent years drugging me with sachets until I grew old enough to tell her to get lost. I now operate very happily on a 3-4 day cycle and so does my DC. If I was going every day I’d class it as diarrhoea.

If the child is unwell and in pain that’s different, but please don’t medicate just to achieve some warped idea of what’s “normal”. Even the doctor has advised only to medicate when necessary as a last resort.

Give the movicol daily - it is fine. My DD at 5 still has them occasionally but at your child’s age she was on them daily. You’ve had lots of great advice on here I think you just have to accept you have a really fussy eater and do your best to manage the limited diet and resulting diarrhoea as calmly as you can.

Give vitamins to ensure DS gets the nutrients he needs and just keep plugging away. It isn’t easy but I know what you’re feeling.