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AIBU?

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Original poster

'Detained' at petrol station for not having my bank card

491 replies

Willowcat77 · 31/07/2019 07:39

Yesterday I stopped at my local village petrol station to refuel. I was on my way to pick up my DS for an important hospital appointment. I am a regular customer as it is the only petrol station/shop in the area and always get my car MOT'd there. My DP has been a customer/friend of the owners for over 20 years.

I went to the counter to pay but then realised that I'd left my bank card at home. The shop assistants knew me by sight so I said I'm really sorry but I'll need to go home to get my card, my house is only 5 minutes down the road. The assistant told me no, I would have to phone someone to pay for me and that I was forbidden to leave the premises!

I was very taken aback, but I phoned my DP. Unfortunately he wasn't answering his phone so I had to leave a voicemail. There was nobody else I could phone in the area. I was very worried about missing the hospital appointment, so I tried to reason with the shop assistants. I explained the situation and offered to leave my phone and £20 cash as security whilst I fetched my card. My petrol bill was £39. They knew I was local and my DP and I have spent 1000s of pounds there over the years.

They refused, saying if necessary I would have to stay there all day until my DP came to pay for me. They said this was "the rule". I wanted to speak to the owner but he wasn't in. I have ASD and am easily panicked. I was getting later and later for the hospital appointment and could feel I was having a proper ASD meltdown. I was getting so distressed I couldn't even redial my DPs number any more and had to ask them to do it. Eventually, after about 20 minutes, DP unexpectedly arrived and paid for me. I still feel very upset and that I can't ever go there again out of embarrassment.

My DP has since found out they did something similar to an older lady recently who was also local and a regular customer.

Aibu to feel I was treated badly and to make a complaint to the owner today? What were my rights in this situation? Could I have left to get the money?

OP posts:
MrsxRocky · 31/07/2019 09:24

You fill out a form with contact details and pay later. I've had it happen to me when my contact less failed. I rarely carry cards these days

abitfedup · 31/07/2019 09:25

I am sorry you went through that @Willowcat77

And the people saying 'you shoulda checked before you put the fuel in your car, that you have your purse/money/debit card???' Do me a favour! Can you honestly say you have NEVER had a situation in your life where you have found yourself unable to pay for some reason?

I have! On quite a few occasions! It has ranged from leaving my debit card at home (because I was paying a bill online and left it on the table next to my armchair,) to having less in the bank than I thought, and the shop assistant saying quietly 'I am sorry but your card has been declined due to lack of funds.' I have also gone out without my purse a few times.

I think the assistant was harsh and well out-of-order. I went to Sainsbury's petrol station one day, only a few weeks ago around 11am, and I had forgot my purse. The lady took my car registration number, and gave me til 3pm that day to get back with the money. To hold you hostage is quite bizarre, and screams 'power-crazy' and 'jobsworth.'

What if you had had NO-ONE to come pay for you? As long as they took/you gave your car registration number, there is no reason why you should not have been allowed to go.

Personally, if they had tried to detain me, I would have called the police myself. They would not have had to call them!

newmomof1 · 31/07/2019 09:29

I think YABU for kicking up such a massive fuss about someone doing their job. People in my local supermarket know me by sight but can't imagine they'd let me walk out with my weeks work of shopping without paying - how is this any different?

They also weren't to know you have ASD, and even if they did, they would still only be doing their job.

The thing with signing a form makes sense, I'd never heard of this before, but maybe it's only the big chains that do this because they can commit more man-power to chasing people up, police reports etc.

I do think they were unreasonable for not letting you leave your phone and cash for the sake of the outstanding £19, though.

I think making a complaint is unreasonable. If your DH is friends with the owner, why wouldn't he just have a chat with them rather than trying to get someone into trouble for doing their job?

M0RVEN · 31/07/2019 09:30

It’s easy to say now “ why didn’t you leave “ but it’s hard to think clearly at the time. I have an adult DD with ASD and she wouldn’t have left either, even though she deals well with stressful situations at work . It’s because she knows what to do there and this would be an unknown situation for her. She wouldn’t know the correct procedure.

Also some people with ASD feel shame really badly and she would be upset with herself for making a mistake. She’s vey hard on herself when she knows she is in the wrong .

VanGoghsDog · 31/07/2019 09:33

Your dp might have called or texted you to let you know he was on his way so you could stop worrying - he was BU by not doing that!

EC22 · 31/07/2019 09:34

I did this at a shell garage, they didn’t ask any details, I just went home got my purse and came back with no issue whatsoever!
Seems totally OTT what they did.

LagunaBubbles · 31/07/2019 09:34

Of course trying to keep you there isn't normal, filling a form in and going back is standard procedure. Life isn't perfect, all the preachy "well you need to check you have payment first" posts aren't helpful, of course this is best but things happen. I filled up recently but unbeknown to me my DH had drew £10 out of bank for something which meant I was short for the petrol and my bank card got declined. Apart from the embarrassment there was no drama - filled in form and had 24 hours to return to pay it. These things happen.

LoopyGremlin · 31/07/2019 09:36

When I was at university on a teaching placement I filled up my car and realised I had forgotten my purse. I was in such a panic as home was 30 minutes away and I would have been late for school. The man was so kind he said to pay the next day on my way past and asked me if I needed anything for my lunch that I could take and add to the cost. I was so grateful that I went the next day with the money and a little box of chocolates!

MetalMidget · 31/07/2019 09:36

I saw this happen at Tesco and they had to fill in a form with all their details and essentially sign to say they would come back within a certain amount of time to pay it or there would be further consequences (not sure what).*

Yep, when I was a student I worked at a petrol station - non-payers would fill in a form including their registration number, address, etc, and they'd have 14 days to pay.

Most came back the same day, or the day after. In the case of the odd one that didn't pay, the form was sent to the police and they'd track the registration plate if the address didn't check out.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 31/07/2019 09:37

They can’t detain you. They have no legal right. They can only phone the police when you do leave. That’s the only right they have in this case. You’d have been back before the police got there.

If possible don’t shop there again and make sure to tell them why. Tell all your friends and family too.

bookishtartlet · 31/07/2019 09:40

This not standard. This has happened to me twice over the years, usually in periods of stress. I had to fill out a form and had 24 hours to pay. One was Sainsbury's garage, the other Shell. Definitely complain. If you didn't pay they would just contact police with reg to get your details.

tartanlass1 · 31/07/2019 09:40

I'd be fuming, especially for the fact they knew you, you're a regular customer and have put lots of money into their business over the years! I'd def complain!

You can understand their reasoning but common sense should have been used instead of the assistant acting like a complete jobsworth and I'd be looking for an apology for the way you've been made to feel.

Itsyersel · 31/07/2019 09:41

Could you not have just locked your car and walked home to get bank card if you only lived 5 minutes away?

JemSynergy · 31/07/2019 09:42

Happened to me once. I ended up leaving the car on the forecourt and walking 5 minutes home to get another card. In my case my card had fallen out of my pocket. There are some perfect people out there but I am not one of them, slip ups happen.

Greyhound22 · 31/07/2019 09:42

OP wasn't bilking though was she? That's filling a car up - often on false plates - and hightailing it off the forecourt. Bilkers don't normally go into the shop and say 'terribly sorry I'm not going to pay today'

I would have been really cross too. If it was someone dodgy looking that they hadn't seen before then maybe ask them to stay but the most they can do is to take the car reg down and report to police if they don't return.

I hope there's another station you can use in the future for your fuel and MOT's OP.

I too would have left - you need to be more assertive in the future. When they had declined your offer of leaving something and you had tried your DH I would have just said 'well I'll be back later to pay I need to go now'

Justaboy · 31/07/2019 09:43

Seems totally heavey handed for the circumstances!

Javagrey · 31/07/2019 09:44

Definitely complain. You were treated appallingly. Hopefully you will get a full apology. That will make you feel a lot better and you may then feel able to continue using the garage. Since it is local, I imagine not using it will be an inconvenience.

stupidboyman · 31/07/2019 09:44

Lastqueen that is utter nonsense.

Greyhound22 · 31/07/2019 09:46

I really can't seeing the police being impressed at being called to a normally law abiding citizen who had forgotten their card before giving them a chance to go and fetch alternative payment.

Dieu · 31/07/2019 09:48

Hope you're ok, OP. A really crappy experience for sure Thanks

SchadenfreudePersonified · 31/07/2019 09:49

There are only three policemen covering the entire United Kingdom anyway.

And one of them is on holiday and another on night shift.

Grin
LegionOfDoom · 31/07/2019 09:51

All the local petrol stations near me have a form to fill out if you forget your wallet. You have to be back before the end of the day to pay or they report you to the police.

I stopped to refuel once straight after picking dc up from nursery. Didn’t realise I’d left my phone, with my cards in, at the nursery. As it was my local they were so good about it and I drove the couples min back to the nursery and was straight back to pay. I did offer to leave them my phone but they refused.

I’m sure legally they can’t detain you. They can call the police as soon as you leave the premises though as it’s technically theft

Kindlethefourth · 31/07/2019 09:52

Last queen: what criminal offence precisely?

Theft requires the mental element of dishonesty and the intention to permanently deprive, neither which applies here. Bilking also involves making off dishonestly.

JudgeRindersMinder · 31/07/2019 09:52

A lot of petrol stations are no longer allowing you to “fill in a form”, because they’ve been burnt this way too many times. This is because if a person doesn’t return to pay, the petrol station has no recourse via police as they have entered into an agreement for payment. This means that the matter is then Legally seemed to be a civil matter, over which police have no powers

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 31/07/2019 09:55

This means that the matter is then Legally seemed to be a civil matter, over which police have no powers

That’s what civil court is for. That’s their recourse.

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