Taking a 3 year old fishing....

[fishfood88]

Need some perspective on this as I'm really not sure if I'm getting this wrong.

DH wants to take 3 year old DD fishing, which I think is fine and a nice idea. DH then said he would let DD make decision about whether to release any caught fish or whether to bring them home.

I feel that any fish should definitely be released as it would be potentially very upsetting and damaging for her to be around a fish getting its head bashed in and have any sort of responsibility for this decision. I feel like at 3 she has no real concept of death or what taking the fish home involves and is totally unable to make that decision with any knowledge.

DH thinks it's fine, descended into disagreement about when she would be old enough to actually make that decision.

I remember going fishing about 10 and being pretty upset at the fish getting killed. I've always been pretty sensitive though. I'm not sure if I am totally over reacting but I don't want anything damaging or upsetting happening to her, especially when it's easily avoidable.

Does DD want to go fishing. Everything else aside won't she just be very bored?
Where does he fish, and what sort of fish does he catch?

She says she does but she's never been and has no idea of what it actually is at present. DH hasn't been fishing in years but wants to get back into it.

Partly I wasn't going to say anything, thinking she'll be bored and not go again and they might not catch anything etc

Where are they fishing? Most places don’t let you keep the fish. Also, fishing is essentially just sitting around waiting - not the most fun activity for a three year old.

I don't personally think a 3 year old has the patience to sit still and quiet for what can be long boring periods where not much happens and you are waiting for a 'bite'.

My DS had fishing lessons at about 7 years old because he thought he might like it. He wouldn't even touch the bait and when he did catch a fish he wouldn't touch that either.

I always assumed all fish caught were put back but this was at a fishing place with pools/pegs.

I took my 3 yo fishing (well he came along with my 8yo) and while he loved the first 20 minutes he quickly got bored and it needed two adults so one could keep him alive and un-drowned and the other can help with the actual fishing.

I agree she will get bored but will have to let that play out. He is planning to take her to beach I believe, so she can potter around and play at the beach at the same time.

I'm just worried if it becomes a more frequent thing the chances are they will catch something. I'm really uncomfortable with the killing idea with her about, and her feeling responsibility for a decision she doesn't understand and may upset her.

If he takes a 3 year old to the beach I think that's an activity in itself and she will need watching the whole time. That's enough without the fishing at that age.
Or he could get a little net and explore the rock pools together?

I'd be more concerned about a 3yo by the water while her parent is distracted by fishing. Will she be wearing a life jacket at all times?

It's cruel as fuck whether you release them or not.

Don't let your three-year-old be shown cruelty.

Tricky to safely look after a little one, by water, when you are concentrating on your cast and if you have a bite etc . I'd suggest you both go or little one doesn't . And as for the dealing with what you catch bit, unless you are fishing to feed the family I would always put them back with as little harm as possible .

I would be far more worried about DD falling in the water at that age. Really worried.
I really doubt there will be many fish at a beach and I doubt a three year old could remain quiet and still enough to allow DH to catch any if they were there so I wouldn't be worrying about the catching fish aspect.

I think that he will quickly find that 3 year olds and fishing don't mix.
If your DD is anything like mine, she will have ran into the water, fell in a puddle, tried to eat sand,... Before the gear was put down. So the likelihood of a fishing being caught is minimal.

It depends what they're fishing for - salmon trout etc fine to keep within their quota, course fish not acceptable. Let her DH make the decision.

Sorry your DH/ her dad

I find fishing extremely boring but others find it as therapy. I have a few nieces and nephews that fish with my father and they love it. Aged 4 to 10.none have issues with handling dead fish aor anything like that. I cant say my dad would ever bash the fish in front of them. Why do you think your dh would do this? Seems a dark assumption to make? Surely a judgment call can be made by him on the day based on her demeaner about It all on whether to release or not.

The kids I look after went to a trout farm and caught a fish. They were 3 and 4 at the time. Mum killed the trout when they caught it and when they told me about it they were really not that bothered at all - very matter of fact, more interested in telling me about how it tasted.
They've always known about animals being killed to provide meat though, if a child didn't know about that, fishing might come as a shock to them.

3yo won't find it nearly as upsetting as a 10yo but she shouldn't be in charge of the decision. Your DH needs to decide in advance whether to keep/release the fish and then say that's what's happening.

I think if she sees it at three and it's explained to her that it's for food and not waste then she'll not have a problem with it. A 10 year old would be upset because they're much older to be having their first exposure to it.

My friend took his kids fishing from about three and it went just fine, so I think it depends on the kids as well :) She might get bored, she might not! DH should be prepared to have to give up if she is bored. But I don't think the actual act of giving a fish a clean death and then having provided her own dinner will upset DD unless it hasn't been explained properly. They're very resilient at that age.

No way would I be doing anything distracting near water with a three year old. I wouldn't be taking my eyes off them.

I think supervision at the beach is an issue. He is watching his line, she potters out of reach, he misses the split second in which a wave goes over her (small waves in shallow water can submerge a child ). I would say no. Can he not take his child for an afternoon without making his own hobby the focus?

He won't get much fishing done whilst adequately supervising a 3yo near water.

He's not really thought thus through, has he?

Just go with him fgs otherwise whether you are killing fish will be the least of your issues .

I would've thought that it would be about teaching DD Edith

Not in a position to go with him. He will be taking her on his days off when I am working. I personally thought it will probably only be a one time thing and she'll be bored and he'll find the whole thing frustrating, however I guess it might not go that way.