DH is telling me IABU I don´t know what to think

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Hi all, first time posting. This is really stupid and I feel you are all going to laugh at me and say IABU for posting this in the first place, but I can´t work who is right so I need your opinion.
My husband has an habit of looking at people. He says is curiosity but I think is quite rude so we have had lot of arguments because of that. He understands my point, he says I´m right and he tries not to do it.
Today we were at the gym and he stopped in front of the basketball courts, one man was alone throwing the ball into the basket, just practising and my husband was there looking at him for a bit. I said to him that I think it´s wrong and he shouldn´t been doing that but he is repeating again and again that people playing sports are really happy to be looked at because they can share their achievement with the audience . I have to add he says he wouldn´t look a other people doing an individual exercise, but because the man was practising a normally team sport although he was alone, then it´s ok to look at him.
So tell me, WIBU?

My stepdads mother does this. It is weird and embarrassing when we are out in public. I have seen her in restaurants turn herself around in her chair to stare at someone. If they catch her looking she smiles at them but doesn’t stop staring. I feel really sorry for the people that she is staring at and my mum or stepdad will tell her to stop eventually but it’s just so weird.

Nothing worse than feeling eyes on you or turning and finding someone staring at you, it makes me so uncomfortable, ‘people watchers’ are creepy and shouldn’t do it. You’ve told him how you feel but you can’t force him to stop, there will be a time someone calls him out on it though I’m shocked a big muscly bloke at the gym hasn’t yet

YABU....you sound very controlling. Why can’t he watch people for a couple minutes when out in public? It’s like he has to avert his eyes unless he gets your permission.
Yes it’s rude to stare but to idly watch someone briefly is not unusual behaviour. People watch other people all the time. I see people watching me with my kids...especially empty nesters. I find myself watching mums with tiny babies and thinking about how cute they look and even scanning ahead to see if they might need help up/down stairs or a door opened when they have a push chair etc. I watched a bus driver help an elderly lady to her door and thought, my what a nice thing to do. Ive watched dog walkers out of the corner of my eye to see if they pick up their dogs poo. Nothing wrong with idly watching a person in a public place.

I have a DH like @limpshade too! He's easily distracted by stuff going on so we do know that he has to face into a room (and definitely away from a screen) if we're going to have a proper chat in public.

Initially I was 'this sounds a bit weird, I'm not sure I'd like that' but then I remembered DH has a thing where if he sees any sport being played - whether it's a kick about in the park or professional - he winds up stopping and watching. I generally just take the piss out of him now, we'll often be sat in the park and he won't realise he's doing it. I do sometimes point out that if it's a bunch of 10 year olds he looks a little odd watching them, which is usually enough to get him to realise that it's not always acceptable!

In many countries round the world watching people and even talking to them is considered perfectly normal. Only in the UK do people feel that they must slink around not making eye contact at all costs.

Tbh, I think it is really off that you are trying to control and change his behaviour like this. You say he is an extrovert who likes contact with people. Let him be himself and accept that this is who he is. Stop trying to change the way he behaves to fit what you think is right.

Does he stop if people are looking uncomfortable, or like they'd like to get away? Is he able to pick up on those cues?

RaggeddeeAnn, sonjadog I think you got confused. I only explained about his extrovert traits and him chatting a lot because the questions about his personality from PP that wanted to understand more about him. I, in fact, admire his capacity to speak with anyone, and I said to him all the time that I would like to have that.

I think I tried to express at the beginning that this is not deadly serious at all, but I failed (I´m not good at words, sorry), we´re not having big arguments or rows about it or I asking you if I should leave him. It´s that I thought that him watching that guy playing alone is wrong and he is sure it´s not. And we (he said to write it here too, and was really excited) wanted to know and understand who was BU.

But seriously, it´s not about control. I don´t want to control his eyes. It´s not about me. I was putting peoples feelings above anything and after reading all your replies I think IAB a bit U and what lottiegarbanzo said in her post (so interesting btw) it´s true and I´m projecting my own feelings being an introvert. I really empathise with people so I didn´t wanted for someone to feel bad if that could be avoided simply telling husband to be more aware. But again, my point of view has changed now since reading all your replies

Sorry posted on the wrong thread! I will report and ask HQ to remove it.

I think he does it as a ruse so he can eye women up. You can’t have a go at him then because he’ll just say, he looks at everyone the same.

Bit like when he talks to anyone, means he can get away with chatting up women.

Or.... he’s quite normal and you need to stop watching him. Ironic.