Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Getting up early with puppy.

51 replies

TryingToBeUnbiased · 30/07/2019 18:59

Alex and Charlie are married.

Alex is self employed and works out of the house about 60 hours per week. Alex also has about 5-10 hours of paperwork they should do as well from home. When Alex gets home from work they’re tired and usually fall asleep early so to fit the paperwork in, gets up at 5:30am to do an hour or so before work.

Charlie is also self employed but only works 40 hours per week. Out of the house but can work from home too and does the majority of all household chores due to relative hours.

Any work done from home is done on laptops at dining room table for both.

They recently got a new puppy. Charlie has been working at home for the majority since having him.

Alex is now insisting that Charlie gets up at 5:30am too to sort the puppy out so they can get their work done.

Charlie is not happy with this as it is too early, Alex is naturally an early riser and Charlie is not. The puppy needs letting out and breakfast putting down. Charlie feels that because they can manage to work around the puppy during the day, Alex should be able to do so on a morning as well. Charlie says if there’s a big problem, like a big mess to clean up, then they would get up to help. Alex thinks they shouldn’t have to deal with puppy when trying to get work done.

Who is BU in this scenario? (Sorry to be vague as I'm trying to get unbiased opinions but will fill in blanks later.)

OP posts:
LEELULUMPKIN · 30/07/2019 19:03

Did you not discuss the puppy's care arrangements before you went ahead and got it?

They are like children, something that should be made clear who is expected to do what before they come along.

Alex and Charlie are BOTH responsible.

Take it in turns.

LakieLady · 30/07/2019 19:04

Alex and Charlie should both be a bit more flexible. Puppies grow up very fast and this will only last a few weeks (both my dogs could last all night by 16 weeks, and the current dog was completely housetrained at 12.5 weeks).

If they aren't prepared to put in a bit of extra effort for a few weeks, they shouldn't have got a puppy at all. And they should try crate training - it really worked for me (well, for my dogs - I was never put in a crate afaik!).

pilates · 30/07/2019 19:04

Alex and Charlie should have spoken about the logistics of looking after a puppy before getting one.

Daisydoesnt · 30/07/2019 19:05

You are both being incredibly unreasonable - that sounds like a completely unsuitable environment to bring a puppy into. Two adults working 100 hours a week between them? Sheesh, poor puppy. And already fighting over who has to get up to look after it.

Get a grip with your "I do more hours than you mentality", and think yourselves lucky if you aren't having to get up in the night as well to let the puppy out to the loo (although it sounds like you should, if there's a "big mess to clean up" in the morning).

Barbie222 · 30/07/2019 19:07

Neither Alex nor Charlie sound generous enough of spirit to enjoy a new puppy.

AutumnCrow · 30/07/2019 19:07

Why the fuck did Alex and Charlie get a puppy??! Ridiculous.

Home it with people who can cope with it properly.

AutumnCrow · 30/07/2019 19:09

Please don't encourage this couple to crate the puppy.

herculepoirot2 · 30/07/2019 19:12

This really should have been covered before the appearance of the puppy.

But it sounds to me like turns need to be taken.

Floralnomad · 30/07/2019 19:12
  1. they should have discussed it prior to getting the puppy
  2. they probably shouldn’t have a puppy at all as they both work such long hours
Atlasta · 30/07/2019 19:16

Alex one week. Charlie the next.
I can see this little pup is going to be the source of a lot of resentment and problems between Alex and Charlie who already have a lot going on in their lives.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 30/07/2019 19:18

Poor puppy.

I'm betting a fiver you're Charlie Wink

Ginger1982 · 30/07/2019 19:18

Sounds like Alex and Charlie shouldn't have got a puppy. Neither of them (you) seem inclined to want to take any responsibility for it.

'Work around the puppy'
'Deal with the puppy.'

Poor puppy. You're both being unreasonable and pretty selfish.

MushySeas · 30/07/2019 19:19

Why on earth did Alex and Charlie get a puppy?

It's lucky you just know these people and you're not one of them; they're in for a right fucking treat when the puppy hits adolescence.

apostropheuse · 30/07/2019 19:21

Alex and Charlie aren't able to devote enough time to a puppy and have been very irresponsible. Hmm

VioletCharlotte · 30/07/2019 19:21

IMO Alex and Charlie should never have got a puppy in the first place. Both have way too busy schedules and don't have the time to give it the attention it's needs.

adaline · 30/07/2019 19:22

You shouldn't have gotten a dog in the first place - poor thing!

RickJames · 30/07/2019 19:26

Aw poor Puppy. A puppy is a baby. You have to love it to put up with their stupid, inconvenient behaviour.

Do Alex and Charlie love the puppy?

Also, depending on the breed, puppy might always be a bit rubbish with accidents. I have a Havanese and she's never really 100% housetrained. If puppy is a toy breed then this could be a long running issue. IME and other toy owners experience, toys can be awkward with this and you have to work on it with the dog, accept it and not shame or punish harshly and not use it as a stick to beat other household members.

My girl pooed in a room that should have been closed today. Instead of making a fuss, I cleaned it up, talked to the dog about it and we agreed to keep it a secret Wink

HavelockVetinari · 30/07/2019 19:26

Alex ought to sort the puppy, it's a ten minute job max, he/she is awake anyway! How ludicrous to make Charlie get up for 10 mins only to go back to bed.

werideatdawn · 30/07/2019 19:26

They shouldn't have got a puppy and thank god it wasn't a human baby. It's a dog ffs get up, take it out for a poo, give it a cuddle and feed it. Basic care which takes very little effort.

WiddlinDiddlin · 30/07/2019 19:29

Alex and Charlie have no business having a puppy if neither of them are willing to change things to meet that puppys needs.

It would make sense for the one getting up earliest to let puppy out and feed, this takes a matter of SECONDS to do.

Then the later riser can get up and take puppy for walk/do a spot of training before work.

It is not acceptable to get up and then ignore the pups needs until the other person gets up, they will have woken the pup up, and like us all, once awake we need to pee and eat!

PuppyMonkey · 30/07/2019 19:36

I got a bit mixed up about what Charlie was doing and what Alex was doing - but God help you when the puppy is older and needs two walks a day.Confused

arethereanyleftatall · 30/07/2019 19:42

Alex and Charlie should never have children.

arethereanyleftatall · 30/07/2019 19:50

Also, when you write it in a third person way, you need to make it less clear which one you are. It's very one sided from Charlie's side.

steff13 · 30/07/2019 19:51

I don't really see why Alex can't take care of the puppy while working? If it's just letting it outside and putting down some food. I know they need a bit of supervision, but that shouldn't really preclude filling out paperwork. And it's only temporary. Presumably Charlie is doing more with the puppy during the 20 additional hours that Alex is working every week.

I don't know, this just really wouldn't have occurred to me to be an issue. Nor do I think my husband would have made an issue of it either. Whoever was up would just do it.

LaurieFairyCake · 30/07/2019 19:53

When I got my puppy I loved it so much that it wouldn't have occurred to me to argue about this

But then again I picked a partner who also got up just to encourage and praise the puppy to pee Hmm

Puppies are amazing Smile

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.