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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Getting up early with puppy.

51 replies

TryingToBeUnbiased · 30/07/2019 18:59

Alex and Charlie are married.

Alex is self employed and works out of the house about 60 hours per week. Alex also has about 5-10 hours of paperwork they should do as well from home. When Alex gets home from work they’re tired and usually fall asleep early so to fit the paperwork in, gets up at 5:30am to do an hour or so before work.

Charlie is also self employed but only works 40 hours per week. Out of the house but can work from home too and does the majority of all household chores due to relative hours.

Any work done from home is done on laptops at dining room table for both.

They recently got a new puppy. Charlie has been working at home for the majority since having him.

Alex is now insisting that Charlie gets up at 5:30am too to sort the puppy out so they can get their work done.

Charlie is not happy with this as it is too early, Alex is naturally an early riser and Charlie is not. The puppy needs letting out and breakfast putting down. Charlie feels that because they can manage to work around the puppy during the day, Alex should be able to do so on a morning as well. Charlie says if there’s a big problem, like a big mess to clean up, then they would get up to help. Alex thinks they shouldn’t have to deal with puppy when trying to get work done.

Who is BU in this scenario? (Sorry to be vague as I'm trying to get unbiased opinions but will fill in blanks later.)

OP posts:

raspberryk · 30/07/2019 19:56

Both, Alex and Charlie shouldn't have got a puppy.

RedSheep73 · 30/07/2019 19:57

Both. And nobody should be doing 60 hour plus weeks, it's not good for you.

Bignicetree · 30/07/2019 19:59

Alex and Charlie should rehome the puppy

IsobelRae23 · 30/07/2019 20:00

Why the F did they get a puppy then????

shinynewapple · 30/07/2019 20:00

Yeah both unreasonable to have got the poor puppy in the first place. Working from home means doing actual work not training, playing with and socialising a puppy. How old is puppy and how long have they / you had it for?

mumtobe1984 · 30/07/2019 20:03

U clearly didn't think this through and that poor puppy, at no fault of its own is going to end up in a home.

Biggles398 · 30/07/2019 20:05

Puppy should never have been bought, are you going to post again when the dog needs 2 long walks a day?
But if Charlie gets the food ready the night before, surely Alex could just put it down and open the back door for the poor little dog.
That said, if it was Charlie who was the main instigator in getting the dog, she should be getting up and sorting the poor chap out

TixieLix · 30/07/2019 20:09

All I will say is Alex and Charlie should adjust their schedules so they're not getting up so early in the morning. The dog will get used to being fed at 5:30am and its body clock will drive it to expect its food at that time. When we got our dog my DH was in a role that got him up at 5am every day and he would feed the dog at this time. Now the dog expects someone up early and if it gets to 5:30am and no one has risen (including weekends) she will bark to wake us up. Don't get your dog into unhealthy habits.

MyKingdomForACaramel · 30/07/2019 20:18

Seriously putting down breakfast and opening the back door I not exactly a chore. How are you going to cope when he needs a walk in the morning.

I don’t agree with those saying your circumstances dictate no puppy - I wfh and it’s the exact reason I got a dog, he’s with me all day and gets walked before work at lunchtime and after work too.

But if Alex cba to our down a bowl of food and let the dog out before work that’s ridiculous

RickJames · 30/07/2019 20:21

@Tixie you are so right. My dog knows that if she's desperate she can wee on the balcony (I sleep with the door open) or she can just jump on me at about 7am and wake me up. They model their lives on ours.

Of course we must still walk them and train them and everything else. Brushing the long candy floss hair 1hr, 3 times a week etc. I can't imagine fighting about my dog.. I do the most for her so she's my little disciple, she's amazing.

PuppyMonkey · 30/07/2019 20:21

It’s not just putting food down and carrying on with work though is it? Puppies have an annoying habit of running around and getting up to no good - you have to watch the boggers.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 30/07/2019 20:24

Why have Alex and Charlie got a puppy when they work 130+ hours a week?

AnotherSmother · 30/07/2019 20:36

Having read only the OP I would say that you are both BU. You need to concentrate on house training the puppy during the day. It will have lots of accidents in the house so be patient. You will need to take it in turns to get up early and let it out for a wee/clean up the mess. I'm assuming it's a very young puppy so it will need to be let out every few hours during the night too. You need to take it in turns to do this and you might be able to reduce the amount of mess you come down to as well. Which in turn will, hopefully, speed up it being clean at night. Remember to slowly start to increase the time you leave it at night before letting it out as otherwise it will become to expect to be let out in the very early hours! It's only for a few months until it can hold its wee and poop over night but every dog is different. Once it can hold it over night without any accidents then it shouldn't really be a hassle for Alex to open the door and put its food out.

Original poster

TryingToBeUnbiased · 30/07/2019 20:39

Thank you for all your replies, and especially thank you to those of you who read the post properly. And yes, I am Charlie in this situation.

The puppy isn't waking up to be let out at 5:30am, the only reason the puppy is up at that time is because DH is getting up and going downstairs to work.

If it was the puppy waking up on its own of course I wouldn't mind, I just don't see why it takes two adults in this scenario to open the door to his pen and put a bowl of food down for the puppy.

For all those saying we shouldn't have gotten a puppy, you are judging me on very little information. We have other dogs, we are responsible dog owners and they are very loved and well taken care of. I don't feel the need to justify myself on that further.

OP posts:

Artykitty666 · 30/07/2019 20:40

Me and my partner had (not serious) disagreements over who GOT to take the puppy out. Usually we both went. She was worth every tired minute and four years later I don't regret a penny spent, an upset tummy on the carpet, a day spent in the rain. Your poor puppy.

HisBetterHalf · 30/07/2019 20:45

Poor puppy

AutumnCrow · 30/07/2019 20:59

We have other dogs, we are responsible dog owners and they are very loved and well taken care of. I don't feel the need to justify myself on that further

So what's the problem, then, if you're both so experienced and responsible? Don't get why you're posting.

DidILeaveTheGasOn · 30/07/2019 21:09

There is something in this that sounds rather... Self-important. Too important to spare a moment to feed a puppy. I'm too busy/important! No, I'm too busy/tired/important!

Alex is being prissy and unreasonable, but you both sound incredibly immature.

Dieu · 30/07/2019 21:10

As a single parent, I can say that the puppy phase was one of the hardest of my life. Not helped by the fact that my dog is thick as mince, and was a nightmare to toilet train I often wished there was another adult to pick up the slack.
My advice is to be kind to each other. The puppy phase is a short one, and totally worth it in the end, but you don't want it to end up leaving a cloud over your relationship!

Daisydoesnt · 30/07/2019 21:12

"....open the door to his pen and put a bowl of food down for the puppy."

Is that really all you do in the morning? I'd be amazed if so. After a night asleep and in a pen the puppy will be desperate for interaction, play, maybe training games, and just bursting with energy. Not sure how that fits with trying to concentrate on paperwork.

AnotherSmother · 30/07/2019 21:28

I don't it's fair for people to be saying they shouldn't have a dog. The puppy isn't on it own, Charlie is with it all day. It doesn't matter that they are working from home because the puppy should be spending most of the time sleeping anyway! I'm sure Charlie will be taking plenty of breaks to house train it and do the odd bit of play and training. People do work and have dogs. If Charlie was working 40 hours per week in an office and leaving the puppy all day then I would agree they shouldn't have one but it's not the case.

AutumnCrow · 30/07/2019 21:34

Who exercises the other dogs twice a day, trains them, feeds them, looks after them?

Are they all crated?

envelopeofpubes · 30/07/2019 21:36

It’s so temporary. In a few weeks the puppy will only need to be let in the garden for a wee first thing and then will go back to sleep until the rest of the household wakes up.

Original poster

TryingToBeUnbiased · 30/07/2019 22:05

@AutumnCrow I do. I walk and feed them before work, FIL comes in and let's them out and sits with them for a little while during the day if I'm out all day, and then I care for them in the evenings. I sometimes take one of them into the office with me if I don't have any meetings or appointments.

OP posts:

shinynewapple · 30/07/2019 22:22

If the puppy is only waking at 530 because your DP is going downstairs to go to work, can you not arrange it so that he doesn't go in the room where puppy is asleep?

My puppy was actually really good at sleeping through til quite late after only a few days. DH, however, works shifts and also would wake puppy as he got ready for work so we just arranged it that he didn't go into room where puppy was sleeping. As this was the kitchen at the time, DH found this a bit annoying so we moved pup up to DS's bedroom.

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