To be fed up for 18 year old daughter

[ejk10]

My daughter is 18 and is going on a trip to India tomorrow with school - all Year 13 leavers. She will be away for 2 weeks. I've just come home from work and she is in tears because she has just started her period! She will be staying in a village and doing charity work so she is really worried about how she will cope. She has very heavy periods and does not get on with tampons well.

AIBU to be so fed up for her and to ask if there are any ways to lighten or stop her period on this one off occasion?

I recently traveled to rural India - I used a mooncup for my very heavy periods whilst there and it was brilliant. Easy to use, comfortable and a safe option when there isn't too much in the way of sanitation.
Pads etc can be tricky as waste is often burnt in rural areas, or buried - both of which are toxic...

I'm in the middle of PP bleeding and could not recommend the Tena pants more. The heavy flow ones. If they can cope with my pp they can cope with anything.

Do you have a GUM clinic near? They may have an evening appointment and although this is not exactly what they are set up for can probably help.

It might be time to start the pill, it was the only thing that worked for me.

BonnesVacances

That's not exactly helpful is it? Girls 'cope' with periods in Indian villages by missing school and getting married (and therefore pregnant) at an early age.

Honestly, it’s not a big deal. No worse than wild camping with a period. Just need pads and wipes. (Since she doesn’t like tampons). I wouldn’t take extra ibuprofen as that reduces cramping (it’s a muscle relaxer) which will lighten the flow now but prolong the # period days. It’s better to have as many cramps possible now and get the heavy flow out of the way sooner. It’s disappointing but better than having whole period there.

I don't think that just before flying to India is the time to start new medication. Some people react really bad to hormonal meds. I also doubt getting to grips with a moocup would be the easiest.

I agree with PP, decent pads, nappy bags and a small bin liners if needed for disposal on a later day if needed.

Ibuprofen is she can take it. Makes my flow so much lighter.

I love my mooncup but it took me a couple of periods to get used to it. So not ideal if she's flying tomorrow, although it can't hurt to try if she can get hold of one - just make sure to back it up with pads, and if it catches even a bit that's better than nothing.

She should take as much sanitary protection as she thinks she'll need and some spare. At least she'll get it done and over with :)

Are there any other girls going? She won't be the only one I'm sure!

Also perhaps some disposable underwear that can be chucked.

I think it's not as bad as you are expecting. By the time she reaches India the first 24-36 hours would be over. By the time she reaches the village probably 48 hours.

After this if she has

1. More than enough sanitary napkins
2. Plenty of wipes
3. Sturdy knickers (Tena type) to cope with leaks
4. Enough change of clothes to handle leaks
5. Pain meds

She should be ok for couple days by when the worst will be over.

Try to show her the solutions & make it less dreadful than she's expecting.

Also the lesser she mentions it to others the better due to religious/cultural taboos which might make things awkward for her.

Also she must make sure she does not go out to the toilets (or whatever arrangements) in the dark to change napkins. This is very risky, Either change in her sleeping area or take a friend.

That's not exactly helpful is it? Girls 'cope' with periods in Indian villages by missing school and getting married (and therefore pregnant) at an early age.

Which is kind of my point. So a heavy period before a 2-week trip to India feels like an opportunity to be empathic rather than something to cry over, as I'm guessing the trip isn't "a holiday"?

You can be empathetic without having to actually put yourself through unnecessary suffering.

Have the school not thought about this, she can't be the only one. Speak to a female staff member

@hopeishere @brummiesue do you know whether tranex. acid is available over the counter?

Thanks everyone - I'm going to nip to Asda shortly and get her some supplies. She has rung the GP who has just called back and is prescribing her some Naproxen to help lighten the period. I love modern technology - he's sending the prescription to Asda electronically and we will pick it up as we shop for supplies.

You can be empathetic without having to actually put yourself through unnecessary suffering.

Yes, but PP had already given practical solutions. I guess I was trying (not very well, but nicely) to suggest some perspective to OP and DD. It feels like a fairly trivial issue, particularly compared with how it would be experienced in the destination.

I'm probably being a bit shitty as I opened the thread based on the title because I'm also feeling "fed up" for my (nearly) 18 year old DD. But she has been in bed for 3.5 years with ME, not because she's started her period the day before she's about to go on a once in a lifetime trip to India. So that probably influenced my reply. Sorry.

Wouldn’t tranexamic acid be better? It makes period lighter and can be purchased over the counter? Not sure why the GP wouldn’t have prescribed that?

I really wouldn’t go for a mooncup or similar in India. The water is not gray for washing etc

Utovlan, or northistorene, it will stop the period in its tracks.

These are the common side effects of Tranexamic acid.

My point is that being on a plane to India isn't the best time to find out whether you'll get the common effects.

@BonnesVacances
I don't want to be accused of drip feeding and I didn't include this info in my original post because I was hoping (and got, thank you all) some practical advice - but I understand why you might think this is somewhat trivial.

My daughter has scoliosis, diagnosed severe depression as well as panic disorder and generalised anxiety disorder - so I think she just felt overwhelmed at having something to deal with. I hope your daughter is managing with a very debilitating illness x

Your poor dd. I get very heavy periods. What I do if I am going to an event is I wear pad/pants and then another pad/pants over the first set. I have never leaked. I don’t know what she can do about the used pads though. I have heard great things about period pants. You just wash them when you are done. They last for 8 hours I believe. Maybe you could pick some up tonight?

I would have a look for some of the more discreet incontinence pads rather than normal sanitary towels, they’re much, much better than sanitary towels for heavy flows, particularly at night. I’m sure always (a curse on their scented products in usual circumstances) do some. They might be more discreet to have when travelling.

Hope she will be ok OP. It’s shit when any of us are on our period when away. But when it’s a country like India, where you aren’t sure of how their toilets will be where she is, I can imagine the anxiety. I too have Generalised Anxiety Disorder as well as bipolar, and things like this are what increases my anxiety before I go away. If I know the country I am fine, but if I don’t 🙈. Yet I know it’s silly to others, and people manage their periods daily in other countries! But it doesn’t stop the panic in me.

What a brilliant opportunity though. Hope she has an amazing time!