...to be annoyed at lack of details on invitations?

[notjustanexpat]

I hate it. Every time we have a formal party or just a gathering with more than a hand full of people who know each other, I briefly mention what the plan is and give some damn indication of what to wear (e.g. " we often all take the dogs for a walk later, a jacket/flats might be handy"). Basically, if it isn't just friends popping over, there will be some info in some form or shape.

Nobody seems to do that anymore. We are invited to a housewarming, which I'd usually dress down for (everyday me wears pretty dresses with full make-up, apparently that is too much for many). However, they've invited a billion people (up to 2.5h travel time), are renting chairs and have a caterer, all of which screams "semi-formal" or "business casual" to me.

If I'd ask I know the answer will be "whatever you are comfortable in" which is just not helpful. Find a middle line. For example, our wedding was formal attire but I know one guy would be terribly miserable in formal clothes, so I explained that I really don't care what he wears, as long as he could deal with everyone else being in fancy clothes. Give me some damn idea of what to expect!

All we know is, there will be some food and some chairs. I'll make an informed guess in the end but I am so annoyed right now!

That (lovely, where’s it from) yellow dress with espadrille wedges or block heels would work if it’s in or outdoors. Your dress isn’t that dressy that you would feel overdressed around people in jeans etc.

I’d wear it to an afternoon BBQ or a relaxed ‘formal’ served buffet.

Similarly, I’m often the one in a dress / who’s made more of an effort to ‘dress up’. Couldn’t give a fuck what others think. Wore a black sequinned shift dress (with an army jacket and converse) to one garden party last year. Every other woman was in jeans or linen trousers.

No fucks given here!

I find this so odd. If you're someone who loves wearing a particular thing, then wear it. But then, don't be ashamed of wearing it, wear it with your head held high.

If you're not sure of the event you're going to and don't want to stand out, then leave your astronaut costume at home for the day.

Also, why isn't this thread in S+B? They actually care about this kind of shit.

You could just ask?

One doesn't know where to turn.

Im with you op. I was invoted to a New Years eve party. I turned up in gold glittery very fitted short dress and heels. Everyone else was in jeans. When people commented on my dress i said it is NYE and I have small children, so im dressing up!

I'm another who clearly mixes in different circles. I went to a friend's 40th birthday which was in her house/ garden a few weeks back. Some people wore summer dresses, some turned up in jeans and top. Nobody cared.

I do actually see your point OP. I am also a frequent overdresser. But this is when you WhatsApp/call our attendees and speculate together. It wouldn’t do to just plainly state what people might want to wear, we are British so apparently we have to make life harder for ourselves.

I only ever wear dresses, I don't even own a pair of jeans. I tend to always bring some fancy or casual bits I can swap if I have misjudged e.g jewellery or a lightweight blazer sort of thing. Could you do something similar?

I think you need to work on finding some outfits which work for more than one event OP.

Try jumpsuits and wear low heeled shoes to these things. Stick to dresses and heels when you know what's happening clearly.

FWIW.. I agree with the OP. Social rules made things easy...you knew what to expect and could therefore plan. Suddenly, all ‘rules’ went out the window and now everyone is confused and doesn’t know what to do.

I’m not advocating going back to the chaperone and calling card days, but for FFS, help a sister out and give a hint at what to expect!