AIBU - to ask your most embarrassing moment?

[clarissa469]

This will haunt me forever!

When I was younger I'd split up with my first full term boyfriend of for years. I'd never sexually been with anyone else. I'd met this REALLY nice lad who we will call James, he'd took me out on a few dates here and there and I'd got to know him quite well. The time came when he'd asked me to stay over at his on a Saturday night. I ummed and ahh'd as I had work on the Sunday at 1pm but figured I could make it to work on time if I jumped on the tram the next morning. He lived with his parents but they were on holiday. That Saturday morning I came on my friggin period! I was gutted, this was my opportunity if you know what I mean, I joked with him before I came to his house that I needed chocolate and a hot water bottle and he was really kind about it. Anyway, I ended up staying the night and he was a proper gent. He had a border collie too called Max (I think, this was a while back) who was super cute. Phew.. here goes;

The next day I got up and had a shower. I'd slept with a sanitary towel on that night and before I got in the shower I realised they had no bin in the bathroom?! (I thought that was really weird but his mum was pretty old if that makes sense.. maybe they didn't need one) I wrapped the pad up in tissue and popped it in my bag. Now I don't know what or WHY I did this but I remember thinking "ew I need to bin this out of my bag." I sneaked downstairs to the kitchen and shoved the pad as far down in the kitchen bin as I could. James had one brother no sisters.

Time passes and James walks me downstairs to leave for work. In the living room his dog was going WILD running around with something in his mouth. Yes, to my horror Max had my sanitary towel in his mouth and was tossing it in the air and catching it, he had blood around his fucking mouth. All I heard was James say "what the fuck is that thing." All the fibres were separated and it was everywhere. I literally dived across that living room floor and rugby tackled that dog for the remainder of that pad. It turned out the dog had emptied the whole bin in the kitchen just for my pad. Our goodbyes were extremely awkward. I cried on the met to work and never spoke to James again. I'll never get over it.

Omg, I don't have anything that could rival that, but wanted to extend my sincerest sympathies and bump your post in the hope that someone will come along with a story that will make you feel better about yours.

I don't have anything that embarrassing, but I'll add a support story...

When I was 16 I went to France with my family. My brother (14) made friends with some pretty French girls, and me being the gawky bracey older sister rather fancied their older brothers and asked them to put in a good word for me.

A night or so later, I'd gone to bed at a normal time, as had my parents. My brother snuck out to meet the girls after midnight, equipped with stolen beers. He met them outside out tent.

My dad rolled over and farted loudly. I heard my 'D'B whisper equally loudly, "that was my sister!" Cue stifled giggles.

Lies. Horrid lies. And the lovely older boys gave me a wide berth for the rest of the week.

@PunkTrumpet I'm sorry, but I laughed really hard at that. You poor thing.

In an aeroplane toilet and the seatbelt sign came on and the announcement for landing.
I got complete stage fright and couldn’t go for a couple of mins. Literally a couple of mins. Finally went, left the toilet and got clapped

Another toilet, this time on a national express. I thought the door was locked... the bus braked and... I flew forward with my pants around my ankles, out said door. Thank goodness it was an early am coach so everyone was asleep!

I once had a D and C in a military hospital, home on the Friday, in the Officers' Club that evening, dancing with a random bloke who said a bit later, Ths is a better view of you than I had yesterday!!!! He'd been in the operating theatre!

When I was in the Sixth Form I had very long hair. During a lesson with quite a good-looking youngish teacher I dropped my pen, reached down to retrieve it and got my hair caught on his jacket button. I didn't want to try and untangle it as I wasn't too sure of where my hands would go so I was stuck with my head around his crotch area. Took a while in the end, don't know who was more embarrassed, as he said Glad the Head didn't wander in.

A few days ago we where staving so grabbed a ready meal each

It went down ok and filled a gap

Well Christ only knows what’s in them but it gave me the most god damn awful farts-curry scented farts

At work today and I kept having to pop to the loo/cupboards just to guff

39 people complained about the smell!

I had managers walking round trying to figure it out while I kept making myself scarce

I’m so sorry to everyone today-I really couldn’t help it

I hope to god they don’t figure out it was me!

The dog and the sanitary towel nightmare happened to my friend too. She was staying in her cousins house when their jack Russell came running into the living room growing and shaking something in his mouth. Yep, he had raided the bathtub in and was dragging her used sanitary towel around the house.

She was mortified but cousin and her husband laughed. Friend regularly tells the story so wasn't too traumatised. Can't speak for the dog tho.

@Rainbowknickers Many years ago I was a student as was my DW. My DW was involved in a road accident so neither of us could continue our part time jobs.
I went to my university and asked for a crisis loan and got one, as I left the room I also left the stinkiest fart I have ever done on my whole life. The memory still haunts me 27 years later.

In school (I was 10 years old) I sat at the end of a table of 7. So 3 kids either side and I'm the 7th on the end. Bloody loved swinging on my chair. Could never understand why my teacher gave me a row for it, it was so much fun

Until one day....yep, you know where this is going!

Enjoying my usual swing and balance on the back 2 chair legs... but something went wrong... before I knew it I went flying back and in my panic at trying to stop myself I grabbed onto my desk... but momentum was too great and I took the table with me!!

The whole class immediately turned round to see what the hell all the commotion was and there I was, lying on my back, still sitting in my chair with my legs in the air, trapped under my table!

Nowhere near as embarrassing as the others, but it's one that still makes me roll my eyes and shake my head at myself.

Also aged 10, I woke up late for school one day so had to quickly dress in the previous days clothes and run to school. To my horror, the day before's underwear (which I could've sworn I had put in the laundry) had worked it's way down my trouser leg and made an appearance as I walk across the classroom. Bloody hated being 10,that was not a good year for me 😂

Age 11, me and a friend were walking about after school when we noticed the cabin where our local radio was broadcast.

Now, I'd always fancied myself as a popstar so I convinced my friend to go with me to the cabin.

In we walked, up to the reception desk and said to the lovely lady "I want to be a popstar". She was so nice, told us to wait there while she quickly nipped out the room.
When she came back she was so excited and said "follow me, you're gonna be on air!".

I was so excited!! I was actually going to be a popstar!! Me and my friend ran through the little cabin following the lady into a little room with 2 men at a table with microphones and another man at a table with some technical equipment.

One of the men spoke into the mic, asked me to introduce myself and told the world I wanted to sing.

This is when i lost my bottle and in my embarrassment blurted out a silly made up kiddie rap verse someone told me at school. We were all pretty stunned by the end and there was no doubt we all realised I was not going to be a popstar.

Unfortunately my adventure didn't end there. One of the men started sniffing the air and asked if anyone else could smell something fowel. We all checked our feet... turned out I had dragged dog shit... lots of it... all through the cabin

Could be worse where dogs are concerned! My friend's dog got into the liquor chocolates that were wrapped under the Christmas tree. Ate them all. On Christmas morning the family came downstairs to see the living room literally covered in shite, as if a fire-hose had been let off. The dog was sleeping it off in another room.

My own embarrassing story dates back to a trip I took to Australia in 2004 with then-boyfriend. We were out on the open sea in a dinghy catching those sea anemone things, with a grizzled old man of the ocean who ran fishing trips. Just him, boyf, and me. At one point, I was clambering back into the boat when a rogue wave stopped my progress. I clung to the side of the vessel, one leg up on the side, one in the ocean. My bikini bottoms must have slipped to the side. The boatman called out above the roar of the waves:

"I can see your oyster."

MORTIFYING.

Bunny I think you're going to have to tell us the words to your rap...

@Rainbowknickers I am literally crying laughing OH is looking at me like

I was walking to uni as a student feeling pretty special in my student nurses uniform and smart shoes. It was raining so umbrella up.

I slipped on a cracked paver and for a second thought I was ok and then went down like a sack of shit. I was so so embarrassed and hopped up hoping no one saw when the most beautiful man appeared, my umbrella in his hand, asking if I was ok. I was so flustered I said fine fine thank you and went to walk away.

Then I saw black. I passed out completely face down on the wet pavement.

It was outside an office building and they helped me in to rest and being the standard nurse in training I was I knew to lie down feet up, support my BP. Did that. Kept passing out anyway. It got even better.

Paramedic turns up. ON A PUSHBIKE.

First responder. Nearly gives me meds I'm allergic to. Gets a line in and then decides to take off my boot. At which point the pain was so horrendous I vomited. All over the office reception.

My bone was sticking out the top of my foot and had snapped cleanly through the skin.

I can see your oyster 😂😂😂

Getting a tampon stuck so far inside me that it took a number of nurses, a doctor and speculums of differing sizes 45 minutes to remove it from me. The doctor was just saying that he thought I'd have to go to A&E when he finally managed to retrieve it. The stench (it had been inside me for over 11 days) when it was finally removed was horrific.

I moved back temporarily to my mum's house after a break up. The first morning back (before I'd unpacked) I was rifling through my suitcase trying to locate something and basically pulling everything out to find this thing. Anyway, my mum comes in with a cup of tea for me and starts chatting, closely followed by her cat. The cat goes all kitten-y and starts yowling and rolling around on top of my stuff trying to get attention. Both me and my mum look down at the cat and realise simultaneously that she's rolling around on top of my vibrator. I started stuttering and went bright red and my mum quickly retreated out of the room. Absolutely mortifying.

Recovering from cystitis, no longer glued to the toilet. Thought I had better go back to work, so emptied bladder, got train, emptied bladder as we drew into station so I'd be OK for short tube journey and even shorter walk into work. All OK till I reached the traffic island in the middle of the road in front of the V&A, at which point the little red man appeared and simultaneously my bladder packed up. Traffic was over the crossing but stationary. So I stood as if on stage while my skirt slowly got wetter and wetter ...

@PalmPrint The tampon shiiiiiteeee!!! How did you not get toxic shock? Jesus

At least the cat had a good time

In the toilet cubicle in a department store. Bag hung on back of door (too far to reach) so I'd unwrapped my tampon in its applicator and temporarily held it in my mouth whilst I sorted out my knickers. A woman pushed open my cubicle door!!!!! The lock wasn't working properly. so there I am crouched over the loo peeling my old sanny pad off with a tampon in my mouth. I don't know who felt worse. Me or her!!!

Just remembered one from my mum she'd kill me if she knew I was telling this but it's too good not too.

Walking through the city centre and it's HAMMERED. Mum nips into the shop grabs a pack of mint imperials and is winding me up saying I can't have one. I'm rooting through my bag still chatting to her when I look next to me and she's gone. She's only about 10 metres away literally choking on one and some guy runs out of Burger King starts giving her the Heimlich Manoeuvre, I'm running around crying screaming like an idiot and with every thrust I see my mums pants soak with piss. The whole place was staring and watching. Pint imperial popped out and she was fine.

The worst part is she'd left her car at home. We had to get the met home whilst she stunk of piss as she said she was too embarrassed to go anywhere else and change.

That's what you get for not sharing

@beccarocksbaby you should've stayed home that day

@Bunnybaubles loooool that sani towel and the pants thing has happened to me too mortifying

Dying at "I can see your oyster" 😂

I don't think I have a most embarrassing moment but the OP reminded me of when I first moved in to my new place. I was on my period and used pads. For some reason I got the bin bag outside the front door, I'm guessing my plan wad to empty the vacuum outside... but I forgot. I woke early the next morning to my rubbish strewn around. It was 5.30 am and I was hopping around in my pyjamas trying to collect it all.

@clarissa469 I'm crying laughing telling my DP about your DM story

Years ago in my very young party days, went back to a FWB house after a night out with the girls. Absolutely mortal drunk, was sick all over myself in the taxi on the way to his house, still decided it was a good idea to show up covered in sick and told him someone had been sick on me! Clothes off and into the shower before passing out in bed. Next morning I woke up with no recollection until I opened the bedroom door and there were my clothes from the night before, all freshly washed and folded. His poor dad had picked them up from where I had left them on the bathroom floor and had washed them for me. Could never look him in the eye again!!