To have a panic attack about spiders

[Pomegranatepompom]

I have not slept, I am irrationally petrified. I need help.

We recently moved to. a cottage, I am a complete idiot, I didn't consider the potential for a spider problem (although there were warning signs when we moved in and saw a couple of whoppers, but I was hoping to have a few more weeks before they were out in force, in which to perhaps have a plan).
We arrived back from a weekend away, I was trying to have a relaxing read before bed, when I saw a fast scuttle out of the corner of my eye. Two monsters had set up residence. I had to wake DH to move them. I am having palpitations already as DH is working until late tonight.

I know I'm an idiot, please can anyone tell me how I can spider proof the house a bit? I can't be in this constant state of being on edge for the next few months .

I'm so nuts, to give context to my fear; I'm avoiding the playroom (in the attic) as fear this could be rife? and don't want to open cupboards..... Also trying to hide fear from DC (have managed until now but will really struggle if see anymore big ones). I'm taking them out for the day to avoid any encounters but obviously we have to come back at some point.
I'm not as scared by little ones and can ignore those.

I fully sympathise with you. And no, I wouldn't move into a cottage or anywhere with a thatched roof for love nor money. And no open chimneys. Knowing this upsets you so much, how come you didn't bear this in mind!

Fully sympathise OP. I'm frigging terrified of them. Full on fear. And not much phases me usually!

When I was a student living in a student house for the first time, I drew the short straw and ended up with the TINY box room. Like so small, you could stand in the middle and stretch your arms out and touch both sides.
So when I moved into a new house he next year, I managed to snag a really good sized bedroom. I was delighted. I went out for a few drinks with friends and went back to my new house and started to unpack when a total BEAST of a spider caught my eye, slowly creeping down the wall.
I started hyperventilating, then crying. As I cried, my mascara ran and made my eyes sting which made me panic more because then I couldn't see properly. I ran from the room and called one of my friends in a total state to come round.
I ended up being so freaked out, I took the smaller bedroom again

I used to be terrified of them and did a zoo course, which helped a lot - I'm still skeptical of large house spiders, but on the whole I'm much better. Cats make excellent spider catchers - could you get a cat?!

SVRT it was all a rush, a house had fallen through and we had a buyer. I can’t believe I didn’t consider it either ......

OP I also recommend the Friendly Spider Programme. However one the most helpful things I have ever read on MN was to leave some of the long-legged spindly spiders around in corners...someone will be along to say what they are...they're not really spider-like, more daddy-longlegs-ish.

Anyway, they TOTALLY take out the big ones. It's a thing. There are threads here about it - try to search one out. If you can tolerate the odd corner with some wispy fellows there (they don't really move around), it could help SO much.

I'm not even sure what they do, but it WORKS

*This is one of the most ridiculous AIBU threads I have read (and there are a lot on here).

Spiders, in comparison to you, are fucking TINY.*

It may seem ridiculous to someone who hasn't got a phobia, but phobias, while irrational, are very real, and terrifying.

I was phobic about birds for most of my life. It was so severe that I have passed out from sheer terror, and it was incredibly restrictive. I was so phobic that I couldn't even be in a room with a stuffed bird. It became so severe that I thought I might have to give up driving because the impulse to just duck and cover my head whenever a bird flew towards my windscreen was becoming so strong.

CBT helped me no end, OP. I got it on the NHS, but that was in the 90s. I'm not sure if it would be funded now. But even if it had cost me thousands, it would have been worth every penny.

Now, when a very cheeky blackcap pops into my living room I don't have to flee the house in panic and not return until a neighbour or someone has made sure it's gone, I can open a big window for him to escape through and leave the room calmly.

Being arachnaphobic must be hell, the buggers are everywhere.

You have to sort out the phobia. Please go and get help, it will change your life and mean you don’t inflict this phobia into your dc

I agree, but it's possible to have a really bad phobia and NOT pass it on. I have had fairly bad arachnophobia for decades, but my DC think that I really like spiders...I was determined not to pass it on.

The two things co-exist reasonably well, oddly!

Yanbu, i am already panicking about spider season! There isnt much you can do other than be minimalist and paint everything white so you can see them coming!

I just can't with insect lovers who preach about compassion while acting like total cunts to human beings. Oh and Alien the spiders will probably die when you "gently relocate" them outside. Idiot.

I just spent a month in my family home under a thatch. I expected spiders and daddy long legs because of the hideous weather, in December there were some. The only pest I saw was a baby mouse which didn't bother me.
However, where I live we have weekly pest control. Spiders bite. And I have to say that after 22 years, I see them constantly, horrid babies, webby nests etc. I still cannot kill them anymore than I can kill the 1cm high ants who I am allergic to. I spend a lot of time with my Lakeland spider catcher and release them in the desert.

Luckily we don’t have a thatch. I think we are going to have to spray. I hope there aren’t any before DH gets home

YANBU to have a fear of spiders, but YABVU to say that something scaring you is 'having a panic attack', which it doesn't sound like at all. I know phobias are serious and need dealing with, but so are real panic attacks. They're debilitating.

I don't like spiders much, but in the throes of a panic attack (shaking, hyperventilating, weakness/feeling faint, tight chest, pounding heart, sweating, chills, blurred vision, overwhelming sense of doom etc.) I wouldn't notice a spider.

To 'have a panic attack' over the tiniest thing is like people who think they're a 'bit ocd' for keeping their cupboards tidy. It undermines a serious disorder.

I get many of those symptoms plus blotches/hives.

I’m in no way undermining other people symptoms. Not sure why you feel the need to dismiss mine.

I'm not trying to dismiss your symptoms; I said being scared and on edge doesn't sound like a panic attack.

Your OP was about taking the kids out to avoid being in your home.

As far as I'm aware, from my own experiences and others I know, during a medically defined panic attack, an episode which peaks and ends (rather than going on indefinitely since that night you had to get your DH to get rid of a spider you saw), it's too difficult to see or coordinate your body to type, let alone safe enough to drive the car for a day out!

When I, my wife, and friends went on holiday in the USA, our friend's wife saw a couple of spiders in her bedroom. They were big black and white spiders, quite different from UK spiders.
She asked me to deal with them but they scuttled under her bed. I told her I had disposed of them, and she slept in her bedroom quite peacefully.
The next day, I foolishly told her what I had done. She hated me for weeks.
The lesson is......…...if someone tells you the spiders are gone, just believe them.

I did The Friendly Spider Programme at London Zoo years & years ago. I had arachnophobia and it was awful to live with. The catalyst was when we bought an old granary to convert in Norfolk and I realised that I would never be able to stay in it alone with my phobia. The cobwebs were like sheets and the spiders were huge.
The Friendly Spider Programme was absolutely amazing and changed my life. Please do look into it.

I'm a huge huge spider lover bigger the better but my sister is terrified of them.

Conkers and orange peel work well at repelling them as others have said.

But relocating them outside kills indoor spiders and most spiders survive vacuums and just wander out when it's turned off.

Or get a cat my buggers eat all my spiders and I have to relocate them to the passage way to save them.

Seems like everyone else found the friendly spider program really effective, but I must admit I didn't, although possibly it helped a little. I use Raid for cockroaches and spray them, and also use it as a preventative general spray in areas like open chimneys. Yes, not very good for my karma, agreed, but I haven't found any great alternatives.

Well done for taking the first step Pomegranate. I admit that I really don't understand fear of spiders but then again, there's bound to be things that I detest which you have no issue with. We're all different and it would be a bloody boring world if we weren't. Just thank your lucky stars you aren't in Australia! Wishing you all the best

I do feel blessed not to live in Aus with this fear !
So I have an appointment with a therapist.
I think we are going to have to spray in the meantime, just so I don’t have to move out.
Thanks so much for all the advice.
There didn’t seem to be any places available at London zoo but hopefully the therapy will be similar.
In case of interest, costs £60 per hour session and takes between 4-12 apparently.

When I, my wife, and friends went on holiday in the USA, our friend's wife saw a couple of spiders in her bedroom. They were big black and white spiders, quite different from UK spiders.
She asked me to deal with them but they scuttled under her bed. I told her I had disposed of them, and she slept in her bedroom quite peacefully.
The next day, I foolishly told her what I had done. She hated me for weeks.
The lesson is......…...if someone tells you the spiders are gone, just believe them.

I would go fucking nuclear if my OH did this to me. The lesson is: don’t lie to a phobia sufferer that you’ve removed the feared object when you know you haven’t. It would honestly make me doubt whether I could trust him again if he was happy to lie to me and let me go to sleep near the spiders I’d asked for help removing. Fine if you can’t reach them or they’ve disappeared or don’t want to get rid, fine. But be honest. Give her the opportunity to decide whether she still wants to sleep there.

I don’t think you understand how hurtful and disrespectful that was to your wife. No wonder she hated you for weeks. Phobias may look silly to an outsider but they’re a very real mental disorder and you just don’t fuck around lying to someone like that.

Out of curiosity, why did you tell her the truth the next day and not the night before? Wanted to see her reaction?

Sorry, your friend’s wife. Not your wife. She must think you’re a complete prick.

Another suggestion to get a cat. I never see any spiders now as my wee cat eats them all.

When I, my wife, and friends went on holiday in the USA, our friend's wife saw a couple of spiders in her bedroom. They were big black and white spiders, quite different from UK spiders
She asked me to deal with them but they scuttled under her bed. I told her I had disposed of them, and she slept in her bedroom quite peacefully
The lesson is......…...if someone tells you the spiders are gone, just believe them

Deeply unfunny and actually a very low thing to do

BossAssBitch indeed. Why do I have the mental image of some smug twat gleefully and unnecessarily telling her the next day while pretending to be a bit sheepish then really enjoying the reaction? Honestly who the fuck would do that and then think the moral of the story is ‘when someone says they’ve removed the spider, believe them. She clearly did believe it until she was told the next day!