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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a panic attack about spiders

75 replies

Pomegranatepompom · 30/07/2019 08:41

I have not slept, I am irrationally petrified. I need help.

We recently moved to. a cottage, I am a complete idiot, I didn't consider the potential for a spider problem (although there were warning signs when we moved in and saw a couple of whoppers, but I was hoping to have a few more weeks before they were out in force, in which to perhaps have a plan).
We arrived back from a weekend away, I was trying to have a relaxing read before bed, when I saw a fast scuttle out of the corner of my eye. Two monsters had set up residence. I had to wake DH to move them. I am having palpitations already as DH is working until late tonight.

I know I'm an idiot, please can anyone tell me how I can spider proof the house a bit? I can't be in this constant state of being on edge for the next few months Sad.

I'm so nuts, to give context to my fear; I'm avoiding the playroom (in the attic) as fear this could be rife? and don't want to open cupboards..... Also trying to hide fear from DC (have managed until now but will really struggle if see anymore big ones). I'm taking them out for the day to avoid any encounters but obviously we have to come back at some point.
I'm not as scared by little ones and can ignore those.

OP posts:
Lellochip · 30/07/2019 09:21

Short term, this might help. Seemed to do the trick in my spider-y flat

Pestbye® Advanced Plug In Spider Repellent & Deterrent - Whole House Repeller - Get Rid of Spiders and Other Insects www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0027GZPFK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_K2.pDbZYZNSA9?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Long term, I will spare you my endless raving on the London Zoo spider course, but it is 100% worth it

Original poster
Pomegranatepompom · 30/07/2019 09:28

alien perhaps take some of your own advice and have some compassion for others.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pomegranatepompom · 30/07/2019 09:29

Thank you everyone for the constructive advice.

OP posts:
Bbang · 30/07/2019 09:38

Oh the irony @alien. Bless you 🤣

Bbang · 30/07/2019 09:39

@Pomegranatepompom your fear isn’t anything that should be mocked, hope you are okay.

GladAllOver · 30/07/2019 09:46

So sorry to hear of your phobia OP. I know how disabling it can be. Please come back and tell us how the treatment went.

I'd like to comment on you alien but forum rules won't allow.

Aragog · 30/07/2019 09:52

Spider x spray.

Spray all potential areas at the start of the 'season' to reduce the potential numbers, and have tins available for if you see any. Spray them direct. It will kill them. I have a run upstairs and down.

It's not perfect but it can help.

Aragog · 30/07/2019 09:53

@aliensprig - ever heard of the word phobia? Clearly not!

Aragog · 30/07/2019 09:55

Oh and throwing spiders outside - not quite as compassionate as you think. Many types you find it houses can't live outdoors and die anyway.

PixieLumos · 30/07/2019 10:04

The spiders might appear a bit less frequently once you’ve settled in a bit more - their dark hiding spots will have probably been disturbed because of moving funrniture out and back in. But to be as anxious as you are definitely sounds like a phobia and it probably would be best to get some professional help with it.

LizzieSiddal · 30/07/2019 10:22

My friend of 20 years has this phobia. She's a confident, amazing woman and yet is petrified of spiders and I've lost symathy with her as she will not get help. She lives in a cottage and it's meant she has developed 'routines', which she has to follow everyday to ensure she doesnt encounter a spider, which is imo, similar to OCD.
She's passed this phobia onto her two strapping sons and is just about to become a grandma- no doubt this child will also become petrified of spiders.
Please dont let this be you OP- get the help you need to stop this irrational phobia.x

Someonesayroadtrip · 30/07/2019 10:25

How about a spider session, lots of exotic pet shops will do something like that for you. Once you have made contact with a big spider then maybe that will help? I kind of an unofficial immersion therapy? It's not quite the same but I know a lot of people who were terrified of snakes 🐍 and then went to a reptile party kind of thing and then love them and even end up with a pet snake (I own snakes and mix in a lot of reptile communities and groups which is why I know this).

I think it needs to be your fear that gets handled in this situation.

On a positive note at least they are taking care of any flies.

LizzieSiddal · 30/07/2019 10:29

I wouldn't recommend popping along to a pet shop/zoo for a spider session, they wont have the quaslifiacations to deal with a phobia.

You need somone who deals with phobias.

Vesperia · 30/07/2019 10:35

I sympathise OP, I have a huge spider phobia. Sounds stupid but get a bunch of conkers & put them in the corners of your rooms, I heard it somewhere & it definitely definitely helps.

Other than that, keep a vacuum cleaner handy although I have to work myself up to get close enough to one of the critters even with a vacuum cleaner & long tube!

Original poster
Pomegranatepompom · 30/07/2019 11:05

I have just emailed someone to make an appointment.
Also had a conversation with DC (8&6) about how we feel about spiders, DS doesn't like then, DD seems ok. We've walked about what we will do if we see one as there may be more in this house that what we are used to (I think in interim will order a spider catcher thing).

Practically, going to ensure no clutter, everywhere hoovered and dusted and no pile of clothes etc lying around.

Hope this is all constructive (still having palpitations but at least I have a plan).

OP posts:
SamanthaJayne4 · 30/07/2019 11:30

I used to have a terrible fear of spiders. I accidentally cured myself because I pretended I didn't mind them so my DC wouldn't grow up with the fear. I must have convinced myself because now I don't mind them - from a distance! If only I could cure my claustrophobia! I had hypnotherapy and it nearly worked. I gave up in the end and got some diazepam , for emergency use only. I hope you find a way of dealing with the little blighters OP. I understand what irrational fear feels like.

verticality · 30/07/2019 11:32

Far cheaper than moving house would be addressing the irrational fear that you have!

There are courses that you can do to overcome fear of spiders. Exposure therapy can be really effective. A friend of mine went from being a hysterical wreck to being able to hold a tarantula. She still doesn't like spiders, but her level of anxiety is more adult now.

loobyloo1234 · 30/07/2019 11:40

Hi OP
I feel your pain. Not irrational anymore but there was a time when I would scream until someone came to my aid with spiders.

Have you looked into spider plugs? I have 3 in my house. I feel like they work. It makes me feel better having them. And I am sure I have had less spiders since having them. Trying to get over the phobia is obviously the best course of action though

BossAssBitch · 30/07/2019 11:45

aliensprig
This is one of the most ridiculous AIBU threads I have read

You aren't very bright, are you Hmm

People suffering from phobias KNOW they are irrational. Phobia is a type of anxiety disorder, some phobias are absolutely terrifying and can cause a lot of suffering. Please educate yourself before you spout such vitriol on a public forum.

OP I live in a cottage, we are very rural. We spray No More Spiders from Amazon all over the house and I have not seen one big one all spring and summer. It deters spiders but does not harm them. We still get the spindly ones, but they don't bother me like the big black house spiders do!

WoopWoopitsthesoundofdaminties · 30/07/2019 11:52

I started a spider fear thread recently. I feel your pain. Don’t read the post by the poster who got one on her bum hole Shock.

The only thing I can cope with is this:

www.dyson.co.uk/handhelds/dyson-v7-overview.html

It has a long nozzle that means you can suck them up from quite a distance.

I know people are going to say it’s cruel, but honestly the fear does affect my life. There are parts of our house that I simply don’t go into, because I am so scared. This thing has at least enabled me to cope with the skinny dangly ones and the daddy long legs!

My DP relocates most of them, so I am not in any danger of making house spiders an endangered species Hmm, but if I am home alone, this is my solution.

QuimReaper · 30/07/2019 11:57

Oh, the irony of @Aragog coming on this thread to sympathise! Grin

Also, Nice for Ithought to share but I'm avoiding my drawers now - nice double entendre in the circumstances OP, I assume this means you're going commando! Wink

madcatladyforever · 30/07/2019 12:04

My grandmothers cottage was spider central - real monsters so when she died my uncle had the entire house and attic insect sprayed by professionals and not a spider has been seen since.
i did the same to my old house and only see a spider now if I leave the windows open. Generally it has to be redone every three years and you should be ok.

Original poster
Pomegranatepompom · 30/07/2019 12:08

Quim entirely unintentional I'm sad to say !

Who did you use madcatlady ?

Im the same woopwoop although I have just been in the attic

OP posts:
JellyNo15 · 30/07/2019 12:28

Indoorex the whole house every few months. Do it when the children aren’t home for the day. Changed my life. I have/had a severe phobia but I never passed it on to my DC. My DM also has arachnophobia so that’s probably where I learned it from.

LizzieSiddal · 30/07/2019 13:20

You sound like you have a good plan. Good luck!