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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help- how do I de-contaminate my washing?

68 replies

Riv · 29/07/2019 23:20

Posting for traffic here.
So ashamed and now don’t know what to do.
Friends dropped in and, you know how it goes, they stayed for supper, wine was taken.... they’ve just left.
Horror of horrors! My washing! It’s still on the line! Its been darked on!
How can I possibly put this right before anyone realises irl?
AIBU to just sneak it back into the cupboard and hope no one has noticed?
Can anyone suggest what I can do for the best? Will re-washing do the trick? Do I need a special darkening remover? Some secret mumsnet chant? I think I can iron some of the things, but will that make it worse? I rarely iron anything but will do it as penance if I must.
Please help me to hide this shame😰

OP posts:
andpeggy1 · 29/07/2019 23:56

Wtf are you lot on about??????? HmmHmmHmmConfusedConfusedConfused

tolerable · 30/07/2019 00:02

oh my golly gosh?? do you even identify as a..do-er of washing??!! how will you sleep. ?personally i think youre probably just doing(shit,whats the mumsnet word for gloating cos youre doing ok?_)that...showy//??
self abdicating.?lol. you must live in a neighbourhood where
a)they dont shcteal designer gear off the line
b) its not good nuf
shame on you.

MustShowDH · 30/07/2019 00:02

@Riv - cheers for the hug!

@ShinyMe - Glad it wasn't just me!

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 30/07/2019 00:03

Oh don't be so dramatic. A simple, quick, 30 degree wash, with plenty of vanish and hung to dry in bright sunshine will sort it.

Your neighbours will judge you though. Can't do anything about that.

tolerable · 30/07/2019 00:07

spiders willies is so..last season.....snails..they like damp..they can make their wee slimey way across the whirly gig wire and onty the laundry..they can fcku you up...just saying...

grincheux · 30/07/2019 00:08

Oh gross. You could at least have changed your username before admitting such atrocities. Serves you right for trying to do the laundry yourself instead of just letting the staff do their job.

Bookworm4 · 30/07/2019 00:11

My granny would have called you lot dirty slovens!
No washing left out until dark and as for you middens hanging it out the night before; just go, leave town, take the shame away from your poor DH/DC, utter disgraces 🙄😉

IsobelRae23 · 30/07/2019 00:14

Spider Willies 🕷🍆 enough said!

FlyingElbows · 30/07/2019 00:19

Have Zoflora not invented a product to combat the devastating effects of darkness and spider willies? I'm sensing a gap in the market.

HappyLoneParentDay · 30/07/2019 00:25

Please, please explain.....

PurpleFlower1983 · 30/07/2019 00:30

Oh shit! You’ve just reminded me mine’s still out and I’m in bed...

Rachelover40 · 30/07/2019 00:32

You are being unreasonable, Riv, but you are very funny with it! Smile

ithinkiammelting · 30/07/2019 00:34

Drive your car into the garden and shine the headlights on the washing all night. That should scare off any spiders committing heinous crimes on your smalls. HTH

But you might have to contend with a flat battery and disgruntled neighbours in the morning.

CherithPonsonby · 30/07/2019 00:39

LTB and give your ducks a wobble.

2018SoFarSoGreat · 30/07/2019 01:07

Listen. To. ithinkiammelting. That there is some sense speaking/typing/writing.

On second thoughts, it is kind of like shining a spotlight. Onto your shame.

Oh I despair. I can't see a way out of this one. Sorry. Most un-MN-y condolences and a hug. If you'd like one. BUT NOT FROM ME cos you have the cooties now.

Topseyt · 30/07/2019 01:28

Getting darked on is part of the process of drying the washing in this house. If it doesn't get darked on then it doesn't dry.

Spider willies and jizz are fabulous fabric conditioners too.

AcrossthePond55 · 30/07/2019 01:32

Anti-darked-on Spell:

Pile contaminated items in the back garden, light 13 candles around them, chug 4 oz of neat spirits of your choice and dance naked around them and chant

Spiders listen to my song,
Spirits of your willies begone!
Laundry spirits hark to me,
Make my laundry darked on free!!

Doesn't work, but it'll give you a good buzz and the neighbors something to talk about for months!!!!!

FlamedToACrisp · 30/07/2019 01:44

It's obvious this is entirely your DH's fault for not dealing with the washing. The only solution is to LTB.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 30/07/2019 01:52

My washing frequently gets darked on in summer. We have some massive spiders here too! But I don't care, I don't, I just don't.

TwistyTop · 30/07/2019 04:35

I've already reported you to the police. You are disgusting.

minisoksmakehardwork · 30/07/2019 07:25

@Riv - you're in good company I deliberately left my washing out last night.

A full washing line!

But it is supposed to pour down this afternoon and I wanted it dry.

ElfridaEtAl · 30/07/2019 07:39

My last load from yesterday has been out ALL NIGHT! Thoroughly darked on and spider Willie's galore!

I may never forgive myself.

maddiemookins16mum · 30/07/2019 07:46

Mine’s been out all night. My mother would have called me clarty.

CaptainMyCaptain · 30/07/2019 07:46

A former neighbour of mine (suffered from depression but did have teenage children) left her washing out for TWO WEEKS! Another neighbour eventually texted her to bring it in and she did.

Yogurtcoveredricecake · 30/07/2019 08:02

Are you my neighbour?

Their washing is always covered in spider willies