Pocket money. Earned or given?

[AtSea1979]

AIBU to only give DS (14) pocket money when he’s earned it?
DD (10) doesn’t get pocket money yet.

Dd is 8 and gets a small amount she can top up with chores. I don't like making everything conditional

I couldn't afford to give my son pocket money, he had to get a part time job at that age.
Mostly he chose not to work on a Saturday morning unless there was something he really wanted.
We lived pretty much hand to mouth in those days.

Ours were given pocket money. There were no conditions attached with the exception being once it was spent that was it till the next pay day !

Both. They get a bit each month but always have the opportunity to earn more.
Some chores are just expected to help with the general running of the house but others can be done for extra pocket money

I think it's good to do both. Pocket money is given; additional money can be earned by doing chores above and beyond expected household contributions (e.g. mowing lawn, cleaning car etc.) But pocket money can also be restricted as a sanction for poor behaviour.

This is a really good article. We follow her suggestions and it works really well for our primary age DC.

Given. Otherwise anytime you want any help they say. "whats it worth".

Given, no strings, you don't withhold cash from your family for not doing what needs to be done - it's not reasonable to stop a spouse having some of the family money to spend how they see fit, nor is it appropriate for a child. (If there's no spare money at all in the family, there's no spare money for pocket money anyway.)

Given without any conditions.

Chores are completely separate and done because that’s what you do as part of a family.

Given. Why doesn’t your 10 year old get any pocket money yet?

Alway earned. What lesson is a child going to learn from just being given money!
My 6 year old makes her bed and when she comes in she puts her shoes away and lays her clothes out for the next day or puts them in the laundry basket. Nothing too hard. I want my child to know you earn money and aren't just handed it (or at least you shouldn't just be handed it!).

Oh she gets £1 a week.

Never paid for chores. They are part of the family so are expected to do chores, completely the wrong lesson to teach that they get paid to contribute to the family home/help family.

Ours get given but not v much
Chores they have to do
They can earn for doing stuff I wouldn't normally ask them to do

Neither of them spend much yet they are going, 10 and 12

Given, chores are expected as a matter of course, same for all of us. I don't want my children growing up to think you get paid for doing your share around the house.

Pretty much as stated in the article posted by @Aprinceinapaupersgrave

They are expected to tidy their rooms once a week and clear the table every day. If that's done with no fuss then if they're going out I'll give them some money. If they've been a PITA I generally say no. But it's not as cut and dried as I'm making it sound, it's a bit more ad hoc!

Another vote for given.
Dc 11 learn to save and spend.
Chores are just part of family life and something we all have to pitch in with.

Pocket money is what we give our children unconditionally. They can do jobs to earn extra.

... and yet you get paid for doing your share around the work place and if you don't.. then you don't get paid. In my experience and I know we all differ, if children get paid for not helping out in the house in which they are a member, then there is no incentive for them to lift a finger. And at 54 I've seen both sides of this gnarly coin play out and I'm not saying the same answer suits all... bubO know which works least well, especially as they enter teenage years.

Pocket money is given, phone time is earned.

Additional jobs, like today with mowing the lawn, DS says instead of money can I earn my Xbox back, it’s confiscated more often than not due to his lack of control at not going on it when he shouldn’t be.

@june2007 that’s exactly what DS says, do you want to wash my car? What’s it worth. Will you just pop this in the bin whilst you’re passing? What’s it worth?

Given without condition. Chores are not negotiable, we all have jobs to do to keep the house and family going.

I think the 2 main schools of thought are -

doing chores around the house is your responsibility as a family member, so pocket money shouldn't be linked to it

VS

You have to earn your keep/why should mum and dad give you "free" money

I've seen pretty compelling arguments supporting both of these viewpoints.

Given unconditionally.

Only earn extra for exceptional chores.

The last thing you want to do is raise a child who thinks they deserve to get paid for making their bed, putting their clothes in the laundry or clearing their plates.

My older DC is 6 almost 7 and gets £5 a month. He's learning that some things need to be saved for, and also if you fritter away money on things you don't get more. It's also brilliant if they pester you to buy anything from a gift shop, you can say "yes you can buy that if you want, from your pocket money."