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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell friend to get a taxi

98 replies

CupidIsFired · 29/07/2019 22:12

Going on holiday tomorrow, flying from my city. My friend is coming too but she lives an hour and a half away on a train so is travelling up in the morning. Originally she was going to book a train to get her in for 4 hours before the flight, we would meet her at the station and then head to the airport. She booked a ticket to get her in 2 hours before the flight time... I told her she was cutting it fine and not giving any time for delays or traffic as this time of the year is very busy in this city. So she changed it to arrive at 9:30am which is 5 and a half hours before the flight, that's fine I said she can come to mine and we can go from there. She called me today to say I need to meet her at the train station as she's hurt her back and has been told not to/can't lift anything and bring her back to my house. I have a DD who is 15 months who's also coming on holiday, I have to sort her out and also myself and make sure everything is organised as I'm a very stressful traveller (I hate this trait about me) so now having to wake earlier to make sure I've given DD breakfast got her ready and myself ready. And be at the station in time. WIBU to tell friend I can't come, to get a taxi to my house and I will help her from there? She will have to get to the train station in her city and on the train herself anyway? Or would I be a bad friend for this?

OP posts:

frazzledasarock · 29/07/2019 23:12

Be firm and manage expectations right now.

Tell her you are busy with your toddler, and suggest she figure a way to manage her suitcases as you and your mum will be busy with your respective luggage and managing a toddler.

So she is completely aware that you ain’t going to be fetching and carrying for her.

cheesemongery · 29/07/2019 23:13

Tell her to grow up and deal with it - you've got your luggage and a baby. Been there done that (I was the one with the baby, buggy and suitcase).

BackforGood · 29/07/2019 23:18

Not sure how you are going to be carrying her bags and helping her if you have already got your own and your little ones luggage plus your little one ?

BumbleBeee69 · 29/07/2019 23:31

if she has hurt her back this badly I’d be suggesting she stay at home.

thenightsky · 29/07/2019 23:31

If she's expecting you to carry her bags, then I don't think its unreasonable to expect her to manage your DD in return tbh.

fargo123 · 29/07/2019 23:32

Taxi.

How long is the journey between the train station and your house?

I hope her mucking about before you've even left isn't a sign that she's going to be a pain the entire time you're away.

Drum2018 · 29/07/2019 23:32

Don't wait until the morning to tell her. Tell her tonight that you cannot pick her up so she will need to get a taxi to your house. And when you do start your journey to the airport and beyond, do not get lumbered dragging her luggage as well as your own and toddlers. She will have to get a luggage trolley and push that. Hopefully this isn't the start of her being a pita for the holiday.

fedup21 · 29/07/2019 23:35

She thinks you’ll be her Porter for the week, I think!

AcrossthePond55 · 29/07/2019 23:37

Either taxi to yours or wait at the station.

My big concern would be her back injury and toting luggage around. I've never been on a holiday where I didn't have to tote my own bags around at least a short distance, if only getting it off the baggage carousel. If you & Mum really don't want to be her de facto baggage wrangler you need to gently let her know now. Even a text saying "Sorry about your back, but how are you going to manage your baggage at XY and Z if the doctor has told you not to lift?". This hopefully would let her know that you aren't planning on doing it for her. And hopefully she'll get the hint and understand that she'll need to use sky-caps or whatever they call them these days at the airport and bell-caps at the hotels. Or at least encourage her to pack light!

Ellmau · 29/07/2019 23:43

It's a bit last-minute to be letting you know. Is it a last-minute injury? She should probably cancel and claim on her travel insurance.

Original poster

CupidIsFired · 29/07/2019 23:45

The train station is about a 15 mins walk from my house if I power walk. It's not that far but it's just that DD Has a routine, and I really dobt want to mess it up or rush her / wake her Especially tomorrow. I've taken DD away before and she's been totally fine but I don't want to risk anything, as I think she may be teething too. I've text my friend but I think she's sleeping as there's been no reply. She's a good friend but has her moments. Shes had her flatmate and sister run around for her today so I guess she was hoping to continue the trend....

OP posts:

thenightsky · 29/07/2019 23:46

What AcrossThePond says, really.

Original poster

CupidIsFired · 29/07/2019 23:47

@Ellmau she hurt her back about a week ago, although she's had back problems for a few years.
When she hurt it she said she was doing something that she knew woukd probably cause problems but not to this extent.

OP posts:

Poloshot · 30/07/2019 00:10

Don't 'try' and get her to do this or that, just tell her to get a taxi as you have things to do, end of. If it's a 15 min walk the taxi would be what £5?

Dieu · 30/07/2019 00:45

I'm going to go against the grain here, as I would pick her up. She's your friend, she's got a poorly back, and has a pretty early start from where she lives. Also, there is no way I'd go on holiday with someone with a child, if I didn't have one myself
C'mon OP, it's one day where you just have to be organised. And won't your mum be there to help you?

HappyLoneParentDay · 30/07/2019 00:58

They won't let her on the flight with a back injury without a fitness to fly certificate. I used to work on check in and we had to look out for stuff like this. Any sign of issues and passengers were asked questions. They can be made worse by things like turbulence which can then put the airline at risk of legal suits

Idontwanttotalk · 30/07/2019 01:02

15 minutes power walking to the station and you aren't prepared to pick her up? I think you are a bit miserable to not collect her from such a short distance away.

If she injured her back a week ago, does she have any idea how it will affect the holiday? Is it just backache or is it back pain (e.g. nerve pain)?

You need to think about this and discuss in case she isn't up to going.

TwoShades1 · 30/07/2019 05:03

She either gets a taxi to your place or you let her know a time that suits you to pick her up from the station. If she doesn’t like your offer of pick up time, then she can sort out something herself.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 30/07/2019 06:18

How far is the train station to the airport?

Tbh I’d just tell her to go to the airport, and you will meet her there, she will be at the airport a hour max on her own, get a coffee read a magazine etc...

Macca84 · 30/07/2019 06:25

I would definitely pick my friend up

T0getherindreams · 30/07/2019 06:32

You are being very unreasonable to think that you can have any sort of holiday with a 15 month old baby.

You will just do exactly what you do at home, just in different surroundings.

Why is nobody talking about this?

Madness! Absolute madness!

A 15 month old baby and you expect to have a "holiday" !

CielBleuEtNuages · 30/07/2019 06:38

I disagree, ive had lovely holidays with 15 month olds. They just weren't lying around all day or boozing holidays. And as I had DH with me, i did get to relax at times, as did he at other times.

Our only problem with DS1 was travel sickness (so take an easily accessible change of clothes for both of you!) and he was a bad sleeper. But we knew that anyway

LellyMcKelly · 30/07/2019 06:47

Would it not just make more sense to meet at the airport? This is way more complicated than it needs to be.

Original poster

CupidIsFired · 30/07/2019 07:11

@T0getherindreams I mean I've taken DD on holiday and it was great. She loves swimming as we have swimming lessons every week, and actually her father lives there (we're not together anymore though) so she's gettin to spend some time with him too, she loves the attention that she gets and she's loves being outdoors. My friend is coming because I actually met her there and she knows people there, just like I do.

I get that some people may think IBU, it's just I don't drive. And I have to go print out all my documents this morning. It's not even the picking her up that's the problem, it's the time that she wants picked up and the fact that she told me I need to rather than asked.

Thanks for the replies everyone

OP posts:

CruellaFeinberg · 30/07/2019 07:15

If you dont drive, how are you going to pick her up?????

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